Tale of the Unexpected
by newyork24-7
Summary: Not everything in life will follow a plan.
1. Chapter 1

**This is going to be a story rather than the oneshot it might come across as. No idea how frequent updates will be :)**

**Hope you enjoy.**

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><p>The feel of Robbie's hand resting on her hip, fingers flexing against the material of her skirt was making her feel increasingly breathless. As the woman they were in conversation with directed a statement at her, Jackie managed to smile and nod politely, while having absolutely no idea as to what she'd actually responded to.<p>

When she finally moved away, Jackie let out a small sigh of relief, gulping down a mouthful of wine in an attempt to steady what felt like strangely frazzled nerves. Robbie leaned closer to her so that his mouth was almost brushing against her ear and his proximity to her had her the hairs on the back of her neck standing on edge. Struggling to keep her eyes open as the somewhat unfamiliar feeling of pure, wanton lust rocketed through her, she heard him whisper, "You alright?"

"Fine," she got out, slightly hoarsely.

"You seem a little on edge."

"Just wondering how much longer we have to be here for."

He chuckled under his breath. "That desperate to get to bed?"

As unwanted as it was, her heart felt as though it had skipped a beat at his words. She managed to smile at him. "Is that the only thing you ever think about?"

"It can be a pleasant way to pass the time," he told her, laughing.

She shook her head in resigned dismay, although she was in no way as comfortable with this situation as he seemed to be. They had been sent undercover to a company Christmas party, masquerading as the new accounts manager and his wife in an attempt to get to know the victim's colleagues better. They even had a room booked for a night as party was in Edinburgh and since everyone else was staying overnight they didn't want to stick out in any way, didn't want to attract any unwanted suspicion.

At first she'd been fine with it, now though, now the pretence was getting to her. She knew it was part of the act, but the way he kept touching her, the way he was looking at her was putting her on edge, it was simply reawakening all the feelings she had for him, the ones she'd buried deep, deep down inside.

Robbie tapped the side of her now empty wine glass. "You want another?"

"Nah, head's starting to get fuzzy. You go ahead though."

"You sure? Quite like a tipsy Jackie."

Despite the reigning confusion in her head, she still laughed. "I suppose one more wouldn't hurt," she conceded after a moment's pause.

"I'll be back in a minute then." He leaned forward, as though he was going to kiss her and then paused as though he'd suddenly thought better of it, pulling back with a slight flush crossing his cheeks. She watched him head to the bar and let out a shaky breath as she tried to compose herself.

Glancing over his shoulder, Robbie drained the chaser of whisky that he'd ordered, his finger running along the edge of his collar as he took in Jackie from afar. The look she'd went for tonight was a far cry from her usual work wear; her dark hair was in loose waves that lightly brushed against her chin whenever she moved her head, her brown eyes were even more luminous than ever, due to the make up she'd worn and the dark blue of her dress contrasted wonderfully with her perfectly pale skin, as well as showing off her legs an attribute he often wished he got to see more of.

Nodding his thanks to the barman as the two glasses of wine were placed in front of him, Robbie ran a hand through his hair. At first he'd liked the fact that this role meant he got subtly touch her, brush his hand against her silky smooth skin, hold her close into his side, but as the evening had went on he'd begun to want even more, wanted to pull that dress from her to reveal more of that unblemished creamy skin and full curves.

Again he swallowed against the lump in his throat, that image in his head was far too tempting, had tormented him for years as it was, and tonight was just fanning that flame of desire.

Slowly, he made his way back over to her, pressing the glass of wine into her hand. Jackie smile up at him. "Thank you."

"Not a problem, open bar."

"So charming," she replied, rolling her eyes at him. "How come I never get to see the charming side to your personality, you know the one that all those woman that flock around you get to see?"

"You've seen it."

"Not for years though."

He smiled, his hand brushing against her bare elbow. "You know me to well now, don't think it would even work on you anymore."

"I think there might have been a compliment hidden in there."

"Maybe," he replied teasingly. "So you think we've got anything from this?"

"Well, I found out earlier that he was having an affair with Hannah."

Robbie frowned at her. "When did you find that out?"

"You'd be amazed how much girls talk in the toilets."

"Something I don't get that at all, but I suppose it's came in handy."

"Gives us a possible lead at least."

He drained the last of his wine as he glanced around the rapidly emptying room. "Looks like this party is over."

"Did it ever really start?"

He laughed. "Yeah, it wasn't the liveliest of dos, especially considering the amount of alcohol that was flowing."

"Think they're too uptight that even all the alcohol in the world wouldn't make any real difference." He watched in rapt fascination as she let her head fall back, stretching slightly and revealing the elegant line of her neck, her eyes fluttering shut for a brief moment as she did so and he suddenly had the image of her doing that in bed, moans of pleasure falling from her lips. He inhaled deeply, drawing a strange look from her as her eyes opened again. "Think it's safe to go up to bed now?" she asked.

His eyes widened. "What?"

"You know, to our room? The place we'll be sleeping." Her head tilted, a smile playing about her mouth as she remembered a scenario similar to this one not long after they'd first met. "Why what did you think I meant?"

"Thought I'd finally won you round," he managed to get out, his tone light even though he himself felt wracked with tension and something that seemed akin to disappointment.

She laughed, amused by his comment. "Think we both know that I'm not your usual type." Her body inadvertently brushed against his arm as she slipped past him.

Letting out a soft sigh as he watched her go, he muttered under his breath, "No, you're better."

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><p>As they stepped into they're room, Robbie watched, fighting his growing arousal as her hips swayed enticingly as she made her way around the room, moving to the side table on one side of the bed, removing her jewellery. He forced his eyes up from the curve of her ass as he sucked in a deep breath. "There's some complimentary champagne, you want some?" he asked, trying to bring back some normality into the situation and what was more normal than sitting with Jackie getting drunk.<p>

She shook her head. "No thanks, think I'm just going to go for a bath, got some knots in my neck."

"Right." His eyes slid away from her as he fought to keep that image of her surrounded by bubbles and water out of his mind. "I'll make up the sofa then, do you think they have any spare sheets?"

The words were out of her mouth before she even had a chance to think them through, "There's plenty of room on the bed, we could just share."

"Yeah…I suppose."

Feeling more than a little awkward, she shifted on her feet. "I mean I know that you're not used to sharing a bed with a woman without sex, but we're both grown adults and we don't feel that way about the other so…" She shook her head. "Never mind."

"No," he assured her quickly. "You're right, saves us some hassle as well."

She offered him a small, half smile as she turned away. Not once in the nine years that she'd known him had she felt awkward around him, but for some reason she did right now. Every nerve ending felt like it was on fire just from the thought of sleeping next to him, and it was only going to be sleeping. Shutting the bathroom door she let out a sigh, this needed to stop, she needed to stop feeling like this around him, like a teenager with an inappropriate crush. She'd managed to bury these feelings and one night of him innocently touching her, not even her bare skin and she was back to fantasising about how his hands would feel on her skin, about his mouth following those hands.

Shaking her head, she tried to stop her mind from straying into that particular vision and calm her racing heartbeat. Hitting on the taps and pouring in a liberal amount of bubbles, she reached with shaking fingers for the zip at the top of her dress and cursed under her breath when she remembered that this particular dress had a button at the top, a button that she couldn't seem to manage to get undone.

After a minute or so, she let her hands fall to her sides and somewhat reluctantly headed towards the door, opening it slowly.

Robbie looked up as the bathroom door opened. "You alright?" he asked Jackie as she stood in the doorway.

"Bit of a problem," she admitted quietly. "Without sounding too clichéd, I kind of need your help in undoing this button at the top."

"Sure." He stepped forward, his fingers deftly undoing the tiny button and yet not moving once it was out. He could smell the lingering scent of her perfume in her hair, mingling with something that was just her and his head fell forward, nose brushing against her dark curls. Her breath caught but she didn't move away and so he slowly pulled the zip downwards, baring that silky skin he dreamt about so many times over the years.

His fingertips brushed down her spine, evoking a shiver and he saw the tip of her tongue dart out to wet her lips as her head tilted back slightly. The warmth of her skin was enticing and it was so soft and smooth that he wanted more, his lips lowered, sweeping lightly across the top of her shoulder as he pushed the material of her dress to one side.

His mouth had only just touched her skin when she let out a small whimper and she suddenly whipped round to face him. For a moment he thought he'd ruined everything, ruined a friendship that meant the world to him, then he met her eyes, her brown orbs cloudy with lust, pupils dilated.

She wasn't thinking straight and she knew she wasn't, but she wanted this so badly that she simply didn't care anymore, she wanted…needed to know what this would be like. Stepping forward she cupped his face with her hands and pulled his lips to her. The kiss was amazing, he drew her bottom lip into his mouth, nipping it gently before brushing his tongue against hers. Her mouth opened eagerly under his and she gasped as he backed her against the wall, one hand tangled in her hair, the other caressing her sides.

Finally they pulled apart and Jackie suddenly remembered that she'd left the water running. "The bath," she muttered breathlessly. "I need to turn the taps off."

He nodded and deciding to take a risk asked, "You need someone to wash your back?"

Jackie arched an eyebrow at him. "Your lines need some work…but it's always nice to have a another pair of hands."

Robbie grinned, that crooked, cocky grin of his that she loved so much. He kissed her neck, tongue flickering over her pulse point before he told her, "Lead the way."

Smiling as she felt his hands continue to run over her as they stumbled into the bathroom together, his lips tracing over every bit of skin that was bared to him. She pushed herself out of his embrace for a moment so that she could hit the taps off, her hand dipping into the water for a brief moment to check the temperature.

Turning to face him, she suddenly felt her confidence waver, she didn't do this, have casual sex and she wasn't naive enough to think for even one second that she was his usual type. She wasn't under thirty, wasn't blonde and wasn't stick thin, her hips had seen far too many takeouts eaten at her desk for that.

Robbie saw her falter slightly, saw the look of apprehension that crossed her face and decided that he'd come too far to let this stop now. He'd wanted this for far too long, wanted to have her fall apart just for him, wanted to see that proper veneer splinter. So he moved forward, swiftly pulling her back into his arms, his mouth finding hers again. She moaned into his mouth as she swayed slightly, hands gripping his forearms before moving to his shirt, nimbly undoing the buttons until it hung open and she pushed it to the floor before running her hands over his bare chest.

It didn't take either of them long to remove the others clothing, tugging and ripping carelessly until they were both naked. Robbie held her close for a brief moment, the kisses turning tender before he pulled away. "You getting in?" he asked.

"Always took you as more of a shower man," she murmured.

"I was, but I find I quite like the idea of you and a bubble bath."

"Pervert," she smiled.

He drew back from her and got into the water, leaning back against the bath, watching enraptured as she stepped slowly into the water before lowering herself down so that her back was pressed against his chest, his arousal pressed against her back.

His hands swept up and over her skin, trailing almost chastely up her sides before curving around her shoulder, expertly finding any knots and soothing them. Jackie let her head fall back, it felt amazing. "You're far too good at that," she mumbled.

"And I've only just started," he teased, his hands moving away from his shoulders, mouth kissing along where his fingers had just been. He brushed his knuckles down the sides of her soft, full breasts before cupping them gently, thumbs brushing around her nipples before finally teasing them.

She gave a gasp, her back arching slightly, his hands were everywhere now, skirting up and over her thighs, across her stomach and back to her breasts again, she curved her hands around his neck, leaning her head back against his shoulder as she pulled him down to her for a kiss.

One of his hands was between her legs, palm flexing against her at first until she moaned. Robbie watched as she broke away from the kiss, a pink flush creeping up and over her pale skin, a moan breaking free from the back of her throat as his thumb expertly found that oversensitive bundle of nerves.

She spread her legs wider - not an easy feat in such a confined space - one foot braced against the bath she pushed her hips into his touch, craving more. He slipped one and then two fingers into her, pulling her earlobe into his mouth as his other hand continued to toy with a nipple.

Her fingers were in his hair now, hips moving rhythmically against his hand, moans falling unheeded from her lips. It was so good that it was all she could focus on, his touch varying, pushing her higher with every caress.

His lips at her ear, he whispered hoarsely, "I want you to let go for me, Jackie."

She wasn't sure if it was his voice...his words or just a culmination of feeling from what he was doing to her but she was suddenly crying out, shudders wracking her body as she came.

He eased her slowly down from her high, teasing out a few more shivers from her before trailing his hands over her again, resting them on her hips. He was desperate now, his hips had been thrusting against her back just from watching her. His eyes scanned the bath as she tried to catch her breath, it was too small for it to be conductive for anything past this. "I think we need to move this into the bed," he muttered. "Not enough room here."

Jackie nodded lazily, laughing slightly as he eagerly clamoured out of the tub, helping her out, his eyes focused on her, watching as the rivulets of water trickled down over her still flushed skin. He grabbed a fluffy white towel, patting it over her skin and she wasn't entirely sure if the aim was to dry her or simply put her even more on edge. Deciding she'd been far too passive in this so far, she gently prised the towel from his fingers, running it over him, fingers following it's path. She curved her hand around his length, applying pressure as she stroked it, her thumb swiping over the tip every so often until his hips were jerking and panting her name and he was pulling her hand away.

His mouth was on hers in an instant as he lifted her up and placed her on the counter. She wrapped her legs around his waist as his hands slid up her thighs, tanking her forward and thrusting into her.

Moaning, she caught his lips with hers and this time the kiss was slightly gentler, she couldn't believe that she was actually having him like this. Part of her had always wondered that if anything actually did ever happened between them it could very well be a letdown due to the years building up to it. It wasn't. She nipped at his bottom lip with her teeth and he started to move, the pace frantic her hips met his.

Robbie couldn't tear his eyes away from her, couldn't quite believe how right this all felt, as though he'd been searching for something for years only to find it was right in front of him the entire time. His lips were on her neck again, tasting her skin.

Her legs tightened around him and her hips arched further into his, fingers clawing at his back as she urged him on. His hips jerked, her name falling from his lips and she found herself unexpectedly falling over the edge with him.

He could feel his heart racing as he struggled to come down from that high, his hips still flexing gently into hers. Her mouth was pressed against his throat and he lowered his head so that his forehead was resting against her hair, breathing in her scent.

After a moment she gave a small laugh, and he lifted his head, his mouth twitching as he told her, "You know there's a time and a place for laughter and this isn't it."

Her eyes sparkled as she replied, "Sorry, just that your geography's terrible, this is nowhere near the bed."

Laughing, his lips nudged hers. "Maybe I just couldn't wait any longer. Anyway." He lifted her up off the counter as though she were as light as a feather. "That's a problem I can easily fix."


	2. Chapter 2

Hands braced on the sheets just above his shoulders, Jackie smiled as she rolled her hips and drew a strangled groan from him, his fingers curving around her hips as he urged her on. Robbie's head rolled back against the pillow and she trailed her mouth over the exposed skin, teeth scrapping lightly against his pulse point . Nuzzling the hollow of his throat for a brief second, she caressed the side of his jaw lightly with her fingers, kissing him deeply, moaning into his mouth as his fingers slid between them to tease her. Breaking the kiss, she pulled herself upright, changing the angle, feeling him slide even deeper.

She took in a deep, shaky breath, eyes locking on his as she finally let her movements pick up pace. Hand on his chest, palm slipping slightly against his damp skin as his free hand trailed up her side and his hips pushed upwards.

His fingers were tangling in her hair, drawing her down to him again. Lips meeting again they both shattered, her fingers curling into the sheets as she gasped.

As Robbie struggled to come down from the high he'd just experienced, he let his fingers drift over the soft skin of her back. Jackie pressed her cheek against his shoulder, mouth gently kissing his neck, unable to part from him just yet.

Finally she shifted, teeth biting into her bottom lip, stifling a moan as she shifted off him, her eyes widening in surprise as his arm clamped around her, keeping her curled into his chest; she'd never have pegged him for a cuddler. Still she had to admit that she was enjoying the closeness, the intimacy of it all.

He kissed the top of her head, watching as she started to drift off, brown eyes heavy, eyelids fluttering shut. Frowning at the warmth that seemed to have settled in his chest, he realised with a start that he finally felt contented. Part of him wanted to shake her awake, tell her how he felt but she looked so peaceful that he couldn't quite bring himself to do it; not yet anyway.

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><p>It was still pitch black when Jackie woke again, still in his solid embrace, shivering as the cold air of the night finally made it's presence felt. Almost reluctantly she moved out of Robbie's arms, shifting slightly as she searched for the heavier throw to huddle under, rather than making do with the thin sheets.<p>

"What are you doing?" Robbie's sleep laden voice asked, a note of confusion in his voice.

"Looking for the throw, I'm freezing," she replied quietly.

Sitting up, he ran a hand through his hair, yawning before a grin crept across his face. "Why are you whispering?"

Jackie smiled over her shoulder at him as she pulled the throw up to her chin. "Dunno," she shrugged. "It's dark and I suppose I feel like I should be quiet."

Laughing, he wrapped his arm around her stomach and falling back onto the mattress, pulled her with him. She shifted under the covers so that her back was pressed against his chest as his fingers traced indistinct patterns across her stomach. He kissed her shoulder. "I could get use to this," he told her.

"Thought you did stuff like this all the time," she muttered in amusement.

"I meant with you."

Her fingers entwined with his as she let out a soft sigh. "Be careful about what you're about to say, Robbie. If this is all this is then I can accept it, but I don't want you to feel like you have to make any false promises."

Shifting onto his side, he leaned over her so that his eyes could meet hers. "I'm not going to say something I don't mean to you, Jacks. This shouldn't have taken us so long," he told her sincerely.

"Maybe we just weren't ready for it."

"Older and wiser now," he echoed.

"Definitely the first, not too sure about the second, especially where you're concerned," she replied, laughing as he pretended to look hurt and offended by her words.

"Ouch," he mumbled, pinching her side in retaliation.

"Well it's true," she told him, her hand sliding up to curve round his check as she pressed her back further into him.

"Ah but I have now learned my lesson," Robbie replied, hands sweeping upwards to cup her breasts, thumbs brushing lightly over her nipples.

Arching, she let out a quiet but throaty moan. "Have you really?" She finally managed to get out, hand reaching back, fingers curling into his hip as light caresses progressed into more.

"Uh huh," he assured her as his hips rocked against her, one hand sliding between her legs as he pulled her earlobe into his mouth. "Grown a lot recently," he told her smirking against her neck.

"That's such a bad pun," she choked out, shifting restlessly on the sheets as his teasing nudged her higher. She was already breathless and panting.

He didn't reply, merely shifted her leg slightly and slid into her, groaning her name as he did so, he couldn't quite believe that he'd waited so long for this, but now that he had her he was going to make up for lost time.

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><p>As the early morning light began to seep through the curtains, Robbie caressed Jackie's thigh which was thrown over his hip. They hadn't slept since the cold had woken her, finding other activities to keep them preoccupied, conversation flowing easily in between. There'd been no awkwardness between them, something that had worried both of them initially, but it had just fitted like the missing piece of a puzzle everything finally slotting together.<p>

It was the shrill sound of Jackie's mobile that interrupted the stillness, punctuating through the privacy of the moment. Stretching, Jackie swiped the phone from the bedside table, grumbling slightly before she answered it, "DS Reid."

Robbie rolled his eyes as he heard Burke's voice ranting on the other end, Jackie met his gaze and smiled as she replied to their Boss. "No Sir, I understand, absolutely, we'll be back within the next hour and a half." She hung up, looking at him almost remorsefully as she told him, "We've to get back to the station, they picked up Hannah last night, found the knife used to kill him in the bins out the back."

"That's not very smart," he remarked.

"Few hours later and it could have been, they were due to get picked up today."

"So why exactly do we need to go back?" he asked, trying to pull her on top of him. "Sounds like the case is as good as closed."

"Could be, but he wants us to interview her."

Groaning, Robbie replied, "Bloody typical." He sat up, grinning as that move shifted her into his lap. "Time for a quick one?"

"And they say romance is dead."

He laughed lowly, his grin staying firmly in place when her lips curved into a smile and she wrapped her legs around his waist, lips finding his once as his hands steadied on her hips.

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><p>She made Robbie drive back to Glasgow, she was too exhausted to even consider it and every time she yawned he smirked over at her. "Stop it," Jackie finally laughed.<p>

"What!" he protested.

"You look too smug, people are going to wonder why."

He shrugged. "They can wonder all they want, I'm happy." His expression changed into one of mild concern. "Aren't you?"

"Of course I am," she replied. "Didn't think this would ever happen but I don't regret it."

"Good."

"I just don't think we should parade it in front of everyone at work."

"Sounds fair enough," he agreed after a moment's pause. "So, are you busy tonight?"

"Why? What do you have in mind DI Ross?"

"Dinner maybe," he shrugged, "Whatever you want to do we'll do it."

"Sounds nice, suppose it'll depend on what time we finish here though," she smiled. "You want to eat out or in?"

"Might not get a choice depending on the time."

"True." She shifted in her seat, commenting, "This is nice."

"What exactly are you talking about? Because I'm quite liking all of this."

"Was talking about the fact that we can just talk like this, admit that we might be late, that things might not go to plan and neither one of us sulks about it."

"Didn't think about it like that, but you're right, we know what the job's like and we accept it. Could be the perfect relationship."

Jackie blinked in surprise. "Never thought I'd see the day that you spoke in terms of a relationship."

"Never really found anyone worth it, you are though."

Her head ducked, pleasure at that statement evident on her face. "So, dinner tonight then," she repeated, her face flushed slightly and feeling slightly giddy at the thought of spending more time with him.

"Can't wait," he replied, smiling as he turned into the station car park. His smile quickly fell when he saw Tanya, the social worker who was often at the station standing by the back fire door, smoking. Taking in a deep breath, he sent up a silent prayer that luck would be on his side, or else he was about to be plunged straight into hell.

Despite how this would look, he hadn't done this on purpose, with Tanya it was simply casual sex, sex that had fizzled out. The slightly tricky part was simply due to the fact that he hadn't technically finished things with her yet. He swallowed heavily, he just needed to get past her, that was all.

Stepping almost reluctantly out of the car, he headed towards the other door, Jackie beside him, pausing and wincing when he heard her familiar tone call out his name.

Jackie frowned at Robbie's obvious discomfort, but figured it was simply unsigned paperwork coming back to haunt him.

He turned on his heel, smiling politely. "Hi Tanya, how are you?"

The woman looked at him in good natured resignation. "Better if you bothered to call."

Feeling Jackie bristle slightly next to him, Robbie wanted to curse, loudly. "Just been busy," he replied evasively.

"I've noticed, beginning to feel like it's your answer machine I'm seeing and not you," she joked.

Jackie felt the blood drain from her face, cutting into the conversation she told them quietly, "I think I'll leave you to this, I have work to do anyway."

Robbie wanted to stop her, but knew from the look on her face that she'd probably break his arm for his trouble. As she walked away, he turned to Tanya, he had to try and fix this. "Look Tanya this has been fun but-"

She held up her hand. "Don't finish that sentence," she told him. Her smile turned sad. "I kind of figured this would happen, you're not the type who goes past a few dates." Leaning forward she kissed his cheek chastely. "Well it's been fun but I don't see the point in dragging this out, goodbye, Robbie."

He watched her go in relief, and turned to race after Jackie who was just slipping into the building.

Jackie bit down on her bottom lip, struggling to keep a hold on herself when she saw the young blonde lean forward and kiss his cheek before leaving. Why had she fallen for this? Surely she'd known him well enough to know when he was spinning a line, and yet she'd let him take her in, had accepted everything he'd told her as gospel. Now though she felt so humiliated and so very angry with him.

The corridor was empty and she heard his footsteps as he ran towards her and grabbed her arm. "Jackie, wait I can explain."

She yanked her arm away and whirled round to face him. "I don't want to hear it," she told him firmly.

"Look Tanya was a fling, I just ended it, it doesn't have to affect us."

"There is no us," she replied coldly.

"Don't say that. You mean everything to me, I didn't want this to happen."

"I'll bet you didn't," Jackie scoffed.

"Look I didn't plan for last night, it just happened, I was going to finish with Tanya anyway so it didn't seem a big deal."

"It is a big deal! She cared about you, it was written across her face and you were just going to chuck her?"

"I love you."

"Don't you dare try that." She glared at him, eyes sparking fire. "If you'd told me, asked me to wait I would have understood, it would have shown you were a bit more mature, but no you wanted to have your cake and eat it too." She laughed bitterly. "You even started it, and when were you even going to end it seeing as you were meant to be with me tonight?"

"I hadn't really thought it through," he admitted reluctantly.

"No, why would you."

She turned to walk away and he caught her arm again. "Look I fucked up, I know I did but I meant what I said, all of it."

Jackie stared at him for a moment and then shook her head. "That's not going to cut it, Robbie. This was a mistake and I won't be repeating it, forget what happened and forget what I said and maybe we can keep working together."

He let her go this time, staring aimlessly after her, unable to see the tears that were threatening to run down her cheeks.


	3. Chapter 3

The atmosphere in the station was unbearable, it was tense and awkward and as it had never been like that before, Robbie didn't have a clue as to how he should best handle the situation. For the first few days he'd backed off, given her some space and time to calm down, hoping that would allow the dust to settle and that afterwards they'd be able to find some way back from this.

That hadn't happened, whenever they were alone together the silence stretched out and there seemed to be this massive chasm between them that he just couldn't figure out how to get past, and he hated it. They'd never really argued before, yes they bickered and on the rare occasion actually fallen out, but it had never lasted more than a few hours before someone - usually the guilty party - took the first step and apologized, prompting the other to do the same.

Tapping his fingers off the side of the passenger seat, Robbie wondered if maybe he should try that just now. It wasn't that he hadn't apologized, he had tried when the mess first started, but maybe now she'd be more inclined to hear him out. He cleared his throat, knowing the words would probably stick anyway, that he'd struggle not to screw this up even more. He seriously wasn't any good at this part.

"Jackie."

Her eyes flickered sideways for the briefest of moments before focussing back into the road as she asked coolly, "What is it?"

"I want to apologize," he got out in a rush. "I shouldn't have done well…you know and I'm really sorry."

She briefly checked her rear-view mirror. "Which part are you sorry for exactly?"

He frowned in confusion, there was a right and wrong answer to this question and he knew it, he just couldn't figure out which bit was which. "Sleeping with you," he answered after a short pause. Seeing her cheek twitch he knew instantly that he'd gotten it wrong, or at least that it had came out horribly wrong. Groaning, he rubbed at his temples. "That came out wrong, what I meant was that I shouldn't have slept with you until I was out of that…thing with Tanya. The sleeping with you I don't regret, at all." A grin snaked across his face at the memory even though it was completely inappropriate. "That…that was amazing." He caught sight of the distinctly unhappy look on her face and his smile dropped rapidly and he rubbed at the back of his neck, letting out a small sigh. "I hate this, Jacks, we've never been like this, not talking, barely looking at each other. You're my best friend, I want that back."

Jackie swallowed heavily, he had a point, she wasn't exactly enjoying this either, she'd never really thought about how much she enjoyed his company, how much she relied on his support until suddenly it wasn't there. That being said she was still feeling slightly raw over what had happened, words couldn't really describe how let down she'd felt, for years whether she'd accepted it or not she'd thought about him, loved him without realising it. So thinking that she finally had him, only to realise that he hadn't really changed had truly hurt. Still despite that hurt she did still want it all to go back to the way it had been.

"I want that too," she admitted quietly.

Robbie let out an audible sigh of relief. "Good," he smiled. "So we can fix this?"

"Maybe…just I think we need to forget what happened, go back to how it was."

His smile faded, he didn't want that, he wanted her all of her, the good the bad, he wanted all the bits of a relationship he'd never really had before but only with her. "Forget?" he echoed. "Do we have to forget?"

She shot him a fierce glare. "Yes," she told him firmly. "We do." Turning her attention back to the road again she continued, "I think if we want to be friends…like we were then we can't keep holding that over the others head like some…dark cloud."

"What I meant was can't we try being more than friends."

Her lips drew together in a tight line. "I don't think that would be a good idea, we're struggling to come back from one night turning out badly and I don't think we'd get back from anything more serious going wrong."

"Might not go wrong."

"Robbie you've already proved that commitment just isn't your thing, and that's fine but I need that from a relationship."

"I can give you that, Jacks, just need a chance," he told her.

"I gave you a chance," she replied quietly, sadly.

"Look I can change," he insisted.

Her lips curled into a slight smile and she shook her head. "You shouldn't have to change, and I don't want you to, I like you the way you are I just don't think it would work for us, we'd drive each other insane after a while."

"Could be in a good way."

"I don't want to lose what we have."

"We don't have to, and I won't really be changing I don't need to around you, I can be myself, we work."

"Robbie…" she sighed softly, shaking her head again. "It's not going to happen. I think it's for the best and anyway you'll be glad for it soon enough when you're out with some young blonde." She said it lightly and yet the words hurt, the thought of him with someone else again was like someone twisting the knife in, but she refused to let him in again, it would just hurt even more in the end.

He stared at her, he wanted to argue more but at the same time he didn't want to risk losing what he did have with her. So finally he answered her. "You sure that's what you want? To forget about us…what happened?"

She had to force the word out, "Yes."

"Ok then," he shrugged. "As long as we're friends again." He knew it looked as though he'd suddenly accepted this course of events but in reality he'd just decided to go with it for just now and to take the time to slowly show her that they could be good together, damn good. First though he wanted them back on even footing, back to where they'd been and he'd take the time to do that, he'd meant what he'd said, she was worth it.

"Of course we are," she replied calmly, but she still felt as though she'd been sucker punched in her stomach, just like that he was over it, had decided it was better to move on. Checking he was still looking out of his window she gave a somewhat bitter smile, it was back to the way it was and it would never change and she didn't know why that bothered her as much as it did.

* * *

><p>Placing the mug down on the desk in front of her, Robbie edged it towards her with the tips of his fingers. "Tea."<p>

Tilting her head she smiled up at him. "What's prompted this?"

"Peace offering."

"You didn't have to," Jackie replied as she picked up the mug and sipped at the warm liquid slowly. "Mmmm, I love the fact that you know exactly how I take this."

His lips twitched with the ghost of a smile, he loved seeing her looking so relaxed, something he'd sorely missed over the past few days. "Wanted to," he murmured softly. "Like seeing you look so content again."

"Not that it takes much," she laughed lightly.

"You said it," he shrugged.

She hit his hand. "Ass."

He dropped down into his own seat, leaning back into his chair. Watching her as she flicked through her papers and holding the cup in her spare hand and drinking from it almost distractedly, he wanted to jump her. Shifting in his seat, he tried not to play out that scenario in his head, he could wait, he would wait and eventually he'd find a way to convince her what they'd discovered between them a few nights ago was worth another shot.

* * *

><p>The annual Maryhill Christmas party was just about the complete opposite of the one Jackie and Robbie had attended exactly a week previously, taking place on the 23rd of the month, everyone was in ridiculously high spirits and the alcohol flowed. It was loud and chaotic, music blared and yells and laughter could be heard from just about every direction.<p>

Moving to where Jackie was leaning against a wall, having just finished a conversation with an extremely drunk desk sergeant, Robbie leaned into her, teling her, "Now this is more of a party."

She snorted. "In all fairness I've been to livelier funerals than that party last week."

He laughed under his breath, before remarking, "You seem amazingly sober tonight."

"Well we're on duty tomorrow and you know what this time of year is like for crime so I figured I'd give the heavy drinking a miss, anyway I could say the same for you."

"Thought the same as you did, didn't fancy getting through that shift fighting the hangover from hell."

"Never normally bothers you."

"Trying to think ahead for a change," he told her pointedly, eyes watching her almost hopefully.

Her smile was gentle but her tone firmer as she remarked, "Wonder how long that'll last." Effectively shooting him down.

Refusing to be defeatist he mumbled, "You'd be amazed."

She didn't reply to that and even if she had he wouldn't have heard it, as a drunk Stuart all but fell into them, only just steadying his hand against the wall. Eyes gleaming with a mixture of drunkness and glee, he pointed above their heads, telling them triumphantly, "Mistletoe!"

They both looked up and Robbie sent a smirk in Jackie's direction. "You know the tradition."

Jackie glared at him, but knew it would be stranger if she refused to go through with this, so she leaned forward on the tips of her toes and brushed her mouth against his cheek.

Stuart looked at her in abject horror. "That doesn't count!" He told her, swaying slightly as he did so. "It has to be on the lips and it has to be a proper kiss."

Robbie waited, seeing whether or not she was actually going to carry through with this, any other year it wouldn't have been a big deal, but it was now. Her eyes flickered between them before she finally slowly stepped forward, hands curling around isr forearms for balance as she leaned into him. Her lips brushed his gently and he knew she was going to try and pull back so in a last ditch attempt he returned the pressure, hand curving around her back, telling himself the minute she went to move away again he'd let go. He just wanted another few seconds of her, he wanted to deepen the kiss but knew that considering where they were and what had happened she would actually kill him for that.

One of her hands slid to his shoulder and for the briefest of moments she pulled him closer, her mouth starting to open under his before she abruptly pulled away. Her eyes were wide and he saw her struggle to catch her breath and he felt the same, one kiss from her could easily bring him to his knees and it was somewhat gratifying to find that it was the same for her.

"That was better," Stuart proclaimed, before stumbling off again, in search of what they weren't sure.

He stepped closer to her, and she stepped back, shaking her head as she told him quietly, "This doesn't change anything. It's better for us if we're just friends."

"You can keep thinking that Jackie, but I'm going to spend as long as it takes convincing you that you're wrong and that we're worth a shot; a proper one," he replied firmly, making his intentions clear once and for all.


	4. Chapter 4

He could hear the revellers shouts of joy from inside his flat, cheering and yelling incoherantly as they stumbled drunkenly down the street still on a high from the bells that rung in the New Year only a few hours ago. Robbie downed his drink, another year gone, and it had been yet another year of screw ups and mistakes that had resulted in making this one look increasingly bleak.

His son was gone and as he'd expected he'd barely heard anything from Jamie or Gaby since they'd moved. He'd tried to call and just been faced with an irate Gaby telling him that the whole point of a new life was to get away from the old one, so then he'd wrote to him, only for it to be sent back unopened. That had hurt. He might not have been the best of father's but he did love his son and he did try.

Part of him wondered if maybe he should just be grateful that Jamie had called of his own violition on Christmas day. That had cheered him slightly, hearing his son so happy and upbeat. So long as Jamie was happy and healthy then the rest of it paled somewhat in comparison, and even if it still hurt him he could live with it.

Then there was his second mistake, Jackie, not that Jackie herself was the mistake, she was definitely the best thing to happen to him in years. The mistake, or rather mistakes revolved around her and the decisions he'd made, the first was to hold off on making a move for near enough ten years. The second was to let her marry a man who simply wasn't right for her and the third was that when he'd finally made his move he hadn't ensured he was free of his other entanglements. A rookie mistake that one, but then in his defence it had happened so quickly and thoughts of her and how right it all felt had just swept every other detail from his mind. He knew he had to fix it, had to get her to give it another go, he couldn't walk away now, he needed this, he needed her. Though he hadn't always recognised it she was the constant in his life, there when he needed her, sometimes offering advice but other times just her being there was enough to calm him, and more importantly than that she understood him, sometimes better than he understood himself. She made him laugh, and in their job that wasn't always an easy feat.

Getting to his feet, he made his way over to the sliding door and stepped out onto the small balcony, the cold air biting at his skin. The bottle of whisky was in his hand and he drank straight from it as he remembered the night they'd spent together, the warmth of her voice and the sounds of her moans, the feel of her skin against his and the affection in her touch.

Suddenly he was grateful for the icy wind, he had to push away these thoughts, they put him on edge and he wasn't about to ease the need he felt with some stranger and she wasn't going to give in without a fight, so thoughts like this were simply on par with self torture.

It was ironic in a way that he'd spent so long looking for the right woman, always getting it wrong and screwing around in-between and yet the whole time she'd been there right in front of his face. He supposed he'd always secretly known that it was her, but had felt that she was too important to him to even try, because having some of her was surely better than none. And he still felt like that, the difference now was that he wasn't going to settle for some if there was even the slightest chance of getting her back.

What he needed now was a plan of action, because sitting around waiting for her to give in simply wasn't going to work - she was far too stubborn for that. Unfortunately this was where he fell down again, because the only thing he could think of was that he showed her that he could live without the women and the drinking and that he could be the man she wanted. He could do that, he knew he could, the problem was the length of time it might take her to accept the fact he'd changed, because until then he was condemning himself to celibacy and that wasn't an easy thought.

Turning so that his back was against the railings, he peered into his empty, desolate flat, thinking about how quiet it always was in there, how unlike a home it actually was and how the only thing in his fridge was some cold Chinese and beer. Then he thought about her again and he realised that it wasn't actually such a sacrifice, if he could have her then he didn't even care about the meaningless sex he'd be passing up.

* * *

><p>Jackie rubbed at her eyes, blinking blearily as she tried to make herself stay awake having just smacked off her alarm. She was so tired that she felt like she was going to have to prop her eyes open with matchsticks, not only that but every limb felt heavy. Groaning as she shifted slightly she realised that she desperately needed to pee, again, for what must have been the third time since she went to bed the night before.<p>

Sitting up she grimaced, her stomach felt bloated and her breasts were so heavy and sore, she just wanted to lie down again. She wasn't even entirely sure what was wrong with her, normally she'd put this this down to PMT, but she'd had that the week before, although even that had been out of the norm, unusually light and gone in the blink of an eye. That being said she'd been relieved to get it at all, it wasn't like her to indulge in unprotected sex and for a while she'd been slightly unnerved by the possible consequences. Although at the same time she hoped to God that this wasn't the beginnings of an early menopause, she wasn't sure what the symptoms for that even were. She shook her head maybe she was just run down.

Yawning one more time, Jackie got to her feet and stumbled exhaustedly towards her bathroom, of all the days she had to put up with a family dinner she had to feel as out of sorts as she did.

Splashing her face with some cold water, she tried to wake herself up a bit more, it wasn't as though she'd even been up all night seeing in the New Year, she'd been supposed to meet friends but had pulled out at the last minute as she'd felt so tired. Had been asleep before the bells had even chimed.

Running her hands through her hair, she tried not to replay the scene at the Christmas party ten days ago over and over again in her head. His lips firm against hers, the warmth of his arm around her and the scent of him and his aftershave all combining to rob her of any common sense or intelligible thought she might have had. Then his eyes fixed on hers, solemn and sincere as he told her the words that should have had her eating out of the palm of his hand, and yet fear held her back. If he wanted to he could really hurt her, completely devastate her in fact and she wasn't ready to just hand her heart to him on a plate when she wasn't entirely sure he could be trusted with it.

It wasn't even the first time that he'd done something so stupid, there was that time that he'd invited her over for dinner and she'd turned up to find another woman wearing nothing but his shirt. She grimaced, she didn't know why she'd believed his words of love and devotion that night they'd spent together, with hindsight it had obviously been the orgasms talking.

She just wished that she could get the images of him, of the night they spent together out of her head. Already she could feel her skin flush and heat with just the memories alone, of his hands sliding over her skin, mouth following after.

Screwing her eyes shut, she shook her head trying to clear it. They wouldn't work as anything more than friends, that would have to be enough for her and at the end of the day she'd always have the memory of that one night when she'd had him all to herself.

* * *

><p>"You're late," were her brother Alex's first words to her as he opened the door, leaving it open so that she could step inside.<p>

"Good to see you too," Jackie replied easily, stepping into the house and narrowly avoiding tripping over numerous pairs of shoes.

"Sorry," Alex muttered. "Can't seem to get the kids to move their damn shoes!" he yelled it up the stairs pointedly.

"It's fine, honestly."

He nodded distractedly. "Alison's in the kitchen, I'm just away to pick up Dad, and Ian and Laura cancelled, going to her parents instead. Be back in half an hour." Tilting his head, he yelled up the stairs, "Bye."

There was no real reply, maybe a couple of grumbles at best, Jackie tried and failed to hide a smile at her nephews disinterest in the activities of the day. As the front door, slammed shut she heard Alison's voice float over from the doorway, "They'll come down for dinner but I doubt we'll see them before the food actually comes out." She rolled her eyes good humouredly.

Jackie laughed. "How are the boys anyway? Since I probably won't actually see much of them."

"They're fine, can't believe my youngest is at high school now though." She nodded her through into the kitchen. "You want a glass of wine?"

The thought made Jackie grimace, she had the strangest metallic taste in her mouth and the thought of adding the strong taste of the red wine that Alison was dangling in front of her made her feel a bit queasy. That and she was still so tired that she was convinced that one glass of that stuff and she'd be face down in her dinner. She shook her head, "No thanks, I'm driving anyway."

"Take a taxi, pick the car up tomorrow."

"I'm working tomorrow so don't really have time for that."

Alison pouted. "Please, please don't make me drink this on my own, I'll feel like an old alcoholic."

"You are an old alcoholic."

"Remind me why we're friends?"

"Hmmm, technically we're family which is why we can say these things."

She gave a small laugh as she poured herself a glass of wine. "Does that mean I'm allowed to tell you that you look absolutely exhausted, you've been working too much again, haven't you?"

Jackie shrugged, trying to pretend that the words about her appearance didn't sting, "I like my work."

Alison simply raised an eyebrow. "Yeah but it's not much of a substitute for a personal life, is it?"

"I have a personal life," Jackie insisted.

"Really? Tell me when was the last time you went out on a date?"

She hesitated, that night with Robbie didn't count as a date and admittedly it had been a while since her last one of those. The disaster with Sean had put her off a bit and with work the way it was she didn't always have the most time to meet anyone.. "Ok," she admitted grudgingly. "So I haven't dated a lot recently, doesn't mean that I don't have a life."

"Jackie," Alison sighed. "Brian's been dead for two years now and I haven't heard you talk about anyone since him-"

"This has nothing to do with Brian, I'll admit it took a while to get past what happened to him but I've moved on, really I have," she insisted.

Alison looked at her. "Then what exactly is holding you back? You won't have work forever and I just feel like you're missing out on so much more."

"I'll keep that in mind," Jackie muttered into her lemonade.

Eyeing her warily and feeling that she'd pushed the issue as far as she could, Alison let it slide and instead told her, "Take it you heard that Laura insisted they go to her parents instead for a New Year dinner."

"I did."

"Thank Christ, I was so relieved, I didn't think I could get through a meal of her tutting at the fact that we haven't got round to redecorating the living room yet and that the hand wash in the bathroom is supermarket own brand."

Laughing, Jackie replied, "At least you don't get the pitying stare, and sotto voice whisper of, "Oh dear, still single, better get a move on before you get to the age where you have to choose between your face and your figure."

Alison snorted. "She's just jealous because she looks like the crypt keeper in eye shadow and you've actually aged quite well."

"That was so close to a compliment up until you added the word quite."

"Don't you just love family?" Alison laughed in reply. Her fingers tapped against the counter-top thoughtfully. "You know I work with this guy who's just seperated from his wife-"

"No," Jackie interupted firmly. "I don't do blind dates or set ups."

"He's a nice guy," her sister law continued to insist. "I think you'd get on well with him."

"No." She didn't really want to even think about dating right now, even though it had just been one night she felt her nerves were still raw over what had happened with Robbie.

Her shoulders slumping, Alison shot a glare over at her. "Fine, suit yourself but I'm telling you that you're missing out."

"What, on an awkward conversation? I think I'll live." She placed her drink to one side as she heard the car pull back into the driveway, tyres crunching on the gravel. "That'll be Alex with Dad." She half grimaced as she added, "Better go say hi and get another lecture about my perpetually single state."

"I could easily correct that," Alison called hopefully after her departing back."

Jackie didn't even bother to reply this time.


	5. Chapter 5

"You look tired," Stuart commented as Jackie skulked into the office, stifling a yawn as she dropped into her seat, switching on her pc.

"Mmm," she murmured, blinking rapidly as she tried to wake herself up. She'd thought whatever it was that was making her feel so out of character would have passed by now and it hadn't, if anything she felt even worse. Now she had a low grade near constant sick like feeling to accompany the all consuming tiredness and she couldn't seem to shake either of them even though it had been over two weeks since she'd first started feeling like this. She couldn't quite understand it, she didn't get ill, hadn't even had a cold in recent years so now it would seem that she was paying for that luck.

"Late night?" Stuart continued, eyeing her curiously.

"No, just think I'm a bit run down."

"There's a cold going around, maybe it's that, do you have a sore throat?"

"Nope, I'm just tired, feel a bit sick."

He frowned. "Doesn't sound like the same thing really, most of the people I know who've had it have been wiped out, runny nose, eyes, no voice."

"Doesn't really matter, I'll get over it in no time," she assured him firmly.

"Get over what?" Robbie asked, sweeping into the office looking unusually bright and cheery.

"The cold," she replied.

He gave a quick once over. "You don't look like you have the cold," he told her.

"You never told us you obtained a medical degree," she bit back sharply.

"Bet you he's done more physical examinations than most though," Stuart snorted.

Jackie gave a short laugh before suddenly frowning back over at Robbie suspiciously. "Actually what are you doing here so early? You've been on time every day so far, it's not like you."

Robbie simply grinned. "It's a New Year so I thought I'd try turning over a new leaf," he told her pointedly.

Her eyes flickered away from his, unable to hold his gaze. He had been unusually reliable of late and yet she still held herself back slightly, this could quite easily be one of his short lived fantasies. She'd seen him with women, seen how he went after what he thought he wanted with absolute determination and then seen him walk away the minute he realised the reality wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and she was determined he wouldn't get to treat her in the same way.

Stuart's voice interrupted her thoughts. "Now that you're both here, the Boss wants the pair of you to head to Stirling, interview our victim's ex boyfriend, apparently he moved there after they split up."

Jackie nodded, getting to her feet she let out a small grumble as it caused her head to swoop, that was another thing, she felt horribly dizzy whenever she stood up too quickly.

Robbie was by her side in an instant, frowning down at her in concern. "You sure you're alright? You look really pale."

She swallowed heavily. "Fine, just a virus, I'll be ok in a minute," she assured him. Feeling her head finally clear, she smiled up at him easily. "See, I'm absolutely fine now, so let's get going, the quicker we get there the quicker we can get back."

* * *

><p>"Here you go, might make you feel a bit better," Robbie told her, passing her over the sausage roll and coffee.<p>

Taking them gratefully, Jackie smiled. "Thanks." Unfolding the paper back from the roll, she took a small bite and then grimaced as she felt bile begin to rise in the back of her throat. Bringing the napkin to her mouth, she discreetly spat out the piece in her mouth.

Robbie looked at her in bemusement. "Problem?"

"I think something's wrong with it," she told him, frowning down at the roll.

"Mine's fine," he replied, glancing over at hers. "It looks cooked and I got your usual, both sauces."

"It just doesn't taste right," she insisted.

Rolling his eyes, he reached over taking it off her. "God knows why I'm doing this," he muttered taking a bite. Swallowing it, he glanced over, telling her, "Apart from the weird sauce combo you always have going on, it tastes fine."

Jackie shook her head as he held it back over to her, holding her hand up she replied, "I think I'll still give it a miss, just stick to the coffee." Reaching down she picked up the cup and as soon as the smell hit her nose she felt her stomach lurch again and hastily shoved it back into the cup holder.

"Ok, now I'm concerned," Robbie commented. "You don't want the coffee either?"

"No, I've got some water in my bag, I'll be fine."

"You sure?" His eyes flickered over her in concern. "This isn't like you, I'm starting to worry."

"You don't have to," she tried to reassure him. "Anyway I'm not yours to worry about."

His eyes held that serious note again as he looked at her, fingers reaching out to brush a stray stand of hair away from her cheek. "What if I want you to be," he remarked quietly.

She drew in a shaky breath, the looks he was giving her, the feel of him touching her was all combining to slowly wear her down and yet it all still seemed to big a risk. It would end badly and she'd get hurt, she'd played it safe in the past and still ended up being the one who ended up getting burned so why would this be any different? After all the greater the risk the bigger the fallout. "I don't think we should go there," she replied, turning her head slightly so that his fingers were no longer resting against her cheek.

When she saw the disappointed look on his face she actually felt like she'd done something to wrong him. His hand fell to his side again, a low sigh escaping from him. Jackie fidgeted in her seat and in a last ditch attempt to try and get rid of the awkward atmosphere that had taken over the car, she asked, "So what are you doing this weekend?"

He shrugged. "Nothing."

She twisted in her seat to look over at him. "What no one night stand with a nameless blonde that you abandon the next day for the pub and football with your mates."

A wry smile played around his lips as he replied, "Nope, not this weekend. Like I said trying something new for a while, that lifestyle choice has worn thin."

"Robbie…" she trailed off warningly.

"Fine, I'll drop it…for now. What are you up to then?"

Her shoulders relaxed slightly as she felt relief flood through her at the fact he'd let the issue drop. "Probably just relaxing, watching some ridiculous romantic comedy."

"With a bottle of wine?" He asked innocently.

Her stomach lurched at that thought, she'd had half a glass the other night and fallen asleep on the sofa and then woken up a few hours later feeling worse than ever. After that experience she'd decided to avoid it all together until she felt more like her usual self. "Might give that a miss," she mumbled.

"Really?" He looked at her in surprise. "That's not like you."

"Just not in the mood for that." She stared thoughtfully in front of herself and then added unthinkingly, "I'm in the mood for some fruit though, maybe some pineapple or watermelon, something fresh."

Robbie frowned at the fast food van they were parked in front of. "Don't think you're going to get that here," he commented.

"There's a Morrison's just round from here, you mind driving round?"

"Um…yeah sure," he answered almost uncertainly. "If that's what you feel like eating."

"Definitely," she replied firmly. "And a smoothie of some sort." Her mouth was watering at the thought.

"Didn't know you were so into fruit."

Jackie shrugged. "I just really want some right now."

"As long as you're eating something I don't mind, you looked like you were about to keel over for a few minutes back there."

She waved her hand dismissively. "Just a bit run down, I'll be back to normal before you know it."

"Good."

* * *

><p>Robbie frowned over his container of Chinese as he watched Jackie attack her salad with the same relish as a starving person who'd been taken to an all you could eat buffet. Her eating habits had altered drastically in the last few weeks and it was one of the weirdest things he'd ever seen. She'd went from her usual diet of coffee and takeout - which was something all three of them indulged in - to eating a ton of fruit and salads, he'd even seen her snacking on a bag of lettuce the other day.<p>

He held out a prawn cracker. "You sure you don't want some of this? We've got plenty of stuff, we're going to have a ton of leftovers."

She shook her head as she opened her bottle of fizzy water, gulping down half the bottle before wrinkling her nose and replying, "I'm fine with this."

Leaning forward in his chair, he pulled his own look of disgust, remarking, "It looks like rabbit food."

"It's not rabbit food." She rolled her eyes at him. "Anyway it tastes good, fresh, not like that congealed gunk."

"That congealed gunk was good enough for you a few weeks ago."

"You shouldn't pout, it's not attractive," she told him, a smile playing about her lips.

"Just finding that your new found health kick is taking a bit of getting use to."

"It's not a health kick, I'm enjoying eating this stuff."

"Right who are you and what have you done with Jackie?"

"Funny," she remarked dryly. Her lips twisted thoughtfully. "I could really go some orange juice right about now."

Robbie shook her head as she disappeared in search of orange juice, he really didn't understand women, not one tiny, little bit.

* * *

><p>Jackie tried and failed to stifle a yawn, she was so damn tired. It was now the beginning of February and she was still exhausted and still feeling sick, she simply didn't understand it because her diet was better than it had ever been and she was sleeping well every night, in fact almost every night now she fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow. Gone were the nights when she stared at the ceiling willing sleep to come, now she was pretty much the opposite, she slept so deeply that she'd had to buy a louder alarm just so she could get up on time. She'd also somehow managed to put on some weight despite her new eating habits, with some of her tighter trousers now no longer fastening at the top. If she could be bothered she'd grumble at how unfair that was, but in all honestly she was far too tired to care all that much.<p>

She looked bleary eyed up at the clock on the wall, it was only just after seven at night and she was already craving her bed. Rubbing her forehead with her hand, she blinked a couple of times as she tried to wake herself up a bit more.

Giving a low groan, her elbows on the desk, she closed her eyes and buried her face into her hands.

"Did you find that file?" Burke's voice broke the silence of the empty office, causing her eyes to snap open, her shoulders snapping straight as her head jerked up.

"Um yeah, it's…" Her eyes scanned her desk desperately before she noticed with some dismay that at some point she'd knocked it onto the floor, so that the papers were littering the area around her desk. "Sorry," she muttered, bending down to pick up the muddled sheets.

Burke glared at the floor, giving a growl of annoyance. "Did I interrupt your nap?" he asked sarcastically.

Knowing there wasn't much point in denying that she was exhausted, Jackie attempted to quickly organise the file, her fingers fumbling as she fought the urge to yawn again. "Sorry," she repeated. "I just shut my eyes for a minute-"

"Not what the office is for," he remarked coldly.

"I know, won't happen again," she assured him.

He nodded, eyes fixed on her face as he took the file, his voice lowered as he asked, "You feeling ok? You've not been yourself lately." He didn't like to admit it but her behaviour of late had been unusual to say the least. It wasn't quite on the same scale as when she'd been hiding the truth about Brian's illness but it was still enough to have him worried about her.

She looked at him in vague surprise, it wasn't often that Burke showed any level of concern or human emotion, she must look awful she realised in dismay. "I'm fine,"she tried to assure him. "Honestly," she added when he looked at her, completely unconvinced by her answer.

"Right…well you know where I am if you need me."

Jackie watched him go, frowning after him. Shaking her head she turned her attention back to her computer screen, on the bright side at least that conversation had woken her up.

* * *

><p>"You'll never believe this," Stuart's told her, rushing into the office, eyes shining with the fact that he had gossip for her.<p>

Jackie however barely looked up from her computer screen. "Oh right, what is it?"

"You know that defence lawyer that Lewis Finlay hired?"

She nodded, trying not to scowl as she did so. She'd hated the woman on sight, not only was she cold and calculating, she was also tall, a size eight and had shiny long blonde hair that seemed to sit perfectly no matter what else she did. She was also blatantly interested in Robbie, brushing her hand against his arm and fluttering her long eyelashes at him.

Not that that was why she didn't like her, she wasn't even sure why she'd even thought that last statement, it was the former things on the list that made her disike that woman so intensely, it had nothing whatsoever to do with how she acted around Robbie. Pulling her lips into a thin line, she glanced back over at Stuart. "What about her?"

"She just asked Robbie out on a date."

Jackie felt her stomach drop at that statement, trying not to show how miserable those words had made her really feel. "Well that's not much of a surprise," she stated dryly. "She's been flirting with him all day."

"Not that she was getting very far," Stuart replied. "Never seen Robbie act like that, he was completely disinterested, she even unbuttoned her shirt a bit more and leaned over the desk. Eyes never left her face for a second, it was like slipping into another dimension."

"Ah but she still wrangled herself a date, no need to check for flying pigs just yet."

Stuart's eyes gleamed. "No she didn't, that's what I'm trying to tell you, he turned her down flat."

Jackie looked over at him in surprise. "What?" she echoed in surprise.

The younger man nodded, smile firmly in place. "Shot her down, she was not amused."

Her features settled into a frown. "Did he say why?"

"Nope, and when I brought it up he just shrugged and went back to his paperwork." He shook his head. "Weirdest thing I think I've ever seen."

"Yeah, it would be," she mumbled, watching as Stuart headed back to his own desk and sat down, getting back to his own work. She tried to do the same, tapping her pen against her desk as she struggled to get her mind back into work.

It didn't work, she couldn't stop thinking about Robbie, maybe he'd meant it when he said he could change, after all he'd been true to his word, since they'd slept together six weeks ago he had been on time everyday and hadn't so much as glanced in another woman's direction.

She felt her heart skip a beat, despite this she just didn't know whether she was able to take the risk on him, it was the thought of everything going wrong and losing him completely that terrified her. She gave a small sigh, but then if it worked it would be amazing, she knew that, after all that one night alone had meant more to her than some of the relationships she'd had that had lasted a couple of months.

After a few more minutes and when she was convinced that Stuart was absorbed in his work, Jackie got up from her desk and still feeling utterly confused and not entirely sure of what she was going to do, she went in search of Robbie.

* * *

><p>Robbie stood staring out over the city, his eyes narrowed slightly as he thought about the events that had just transpired. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't been tempted by Megan's offer, she'd pretty much made it clear that it would just be casual sex and she was attractive so for the briefest of moments he'd seriously considered taking her up on her offer.<p>

Then she'd touched his arm and he'd looked up into those calculating blue eyes, so unlike the warmth he always saw in Jackie's when she looked at him. In that instant his mind was made up, he wanted Jackie so much more than he wanted a meaningless night of sex, and if he indulged in that particular weakness then she'd never see him as anything more than a feckless womanizer, and he didn't want that to be the case.

It was because of this that he'd gently pushed her hand away and turned her down, watching as furious disbelief crossed her face and she stormed off after leaving him with a few choice words. Letting out an irritated sigh, he pushed his hands through his hair, it was all very well and good trying to show Jackie that he'd changed, but he was struggling to tell if it was working. And in all honestly over the past few days he was beginning to lose hope that she'd ever change her opinion of him, and it was beginning to get him down.

He turned slightly as he heard the fire door creak open and he gave a small smile as Jackie herself stepped out into the roof, the wind whipping her hair about her face. She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. "Should have brought a jacket," she told him.

"Probably," he agreed, watching as she came to stand next to him, her back resting against the stone wall. "So what are you doing up here?" He finally asked as the silence drew out between them.

She shrugged, her confusion evident on her face as she replied, "I'm not entirely sure."

His head tilted to one side as he eyed her curiously. "You don't know," he echoed. "Not like you."

"I know…but I heard about you turning down a date with that lawyer and I…" she trailed off. "I wanted to know why," she finally blurted out.

"Why I turned her down?"

Her cheeks flushed slightly and she nodded.

He smiled. "Because she wasn't you," he answered honestly. "And I want you."

Warm yet unsure brown eyes met his. "So you weren't even tempted?"

"I was tempted," he admitted, remembering how she'd told him a few weeks ago that she just wanted him to be honest with her. "But I knew that if something happened with her than I was throwing away the possibility of ever having anything with you, and I want that so much more."

"You actually mean that," she stated.

His smiled turned wry as he nodded. "Been trying to convince you of that for weeks now."

"I know, I just didn't think you could change."

"Didn't?" He looked at her hopefully. "Does that mean that you think I can now?"

"I don't know, I want to believe it."

He turned so that he was in front of her now, one hand on her hip, the other cupping her cheek. "I just need a chance to show you how good we can be."

"I don't want to rush into anything."

"We can go as slowly as you want," he tried to reassure her. "We could just date for a while if that's what you wanted, nothing serious…well not yet."

She couldn't help but smile at that last bit, his usual cocky self eking through again. After a moment of silence, she finally replied, "I think dating could be fun, do I get to pick where we go?"

"I think just this once that could be allowed," he teased her, fingers toying with the strands of her hair as he spoke. "So…tonight?"

"God you're eager," she remarked, fingers moving up to brush over his cheeks as she spoke.

"Waited a long time for this."

"Well I suppose it would really be very fair to make you wait too much longer…tonight," she finally agreed, loving the way her saying it made his face light up.

The hand on her hip tightened as he pulled her closer. "Can't wait."

Her smile deepened as his eyes flickered from her eyes, to her lips and then back again, she knew what he wanted and found it amusing and almost sweet that he appeared to be holding back just because she'd told him she wanted to take it slowly. Her thumb brushed against a slightly roughened cheek bone as she leaned forward on her tip toes and kissed him lightly, not even making so much as a murmur of protest as he deepened the kiss.

For once everything appeared to be slotting into place.


	6. Chapter 6

Jackie gave an irritated sigh as she glanced at her watch, she was running so late it was unbelievable, it was so bad that she was actually half hoping that Robbie would stick to his usual unspoken rule of never arriving anywhere on time. Throwing the make up brush back onto her table, she swore under her breath as she heard the phone in her hall begin to trill; still at least it had waited until she'd finished evening out her blusher.

"Hello," she answered briskly, frowning down at her silver wristwatch as she hoped against hope that this phone call would be brief.

As awful as it sounded her heart sank when she heard Alison's voice float over the other end, normally she loved talking to her sister in law, but the woman could talk for Scotland and she simply didn't have time for that tonight. "Hey, you got plans on Friday night?" she asked brightly

Alarm bells started ringing at that. "I'm not sure yet, why?"

"I just wondered if you wanted to go out for dinner."

"No," she answered firmly.

"Why not? You just said you didn't have plans."

"I said I didn't know if I had plans, not that I definitely didn't," Jackie replied exasperatedly.

She could hear the scepticism in Alison's voice as she countered, "Work doesn't count, surely you can take the night off or swap your shift?"

"I didn't say I was working either."

"Good, so you have no plans then and you can do this after all."

Jackie felt her fingers clench into the palm of her hand as the doorbell sounded behind her, and was grateful that she had a cordless phone as she raced for the door. This would be the one time that Robbie decided to turn up on time. As she opened the door she signalled for him to come into the hallway as she told Alison firmly, "Whatever you have planned you can cancel it."

"You'll regret it, Martin's a great guy."

"I'm sure he is, but he isn't for me. Look Aly as nice as it is that you're concerned I don't need set up." She saw Robbie's eyebrows shoot up into his forehead, a smile playing about his lips.

"Look just give it a shot-"

"I need to go," Jackie told her shortly. "I'm going out and I'm running late."

"Fine, I'll let this drop for now, but I really do think you'd be good together."

"Goodbye Alison," she replied, a slight lilt of laughter in her tone as she hit the end call button and placed the phone back into it's cradle. Turning to Robbie she told him, "I won't be a minute, I just need to put my earrings in."

"Wait a minute." He caught her by her hips as she tried to turn towards her bedroom again, whirling her around to face him. Grinning down at her, eyes alight with merriment he asked, "Are you arranging dates behind my back?"

"No, my sister in law is trying to set me up, she thinks I need to get out more."

"And you didn't tell her that you were already going out with a handsome, charming and witty detective," he replied, pretending to look hurt.

"And here I thought it was you taking me out," Jackie teased in reply.

"Your words wound me."

She rolled her eyes. "You give me far too much credit." Wrapping her arms around his neck she brushed her thumbs down the back of his neck. "Anyway I thought we were taking this slowly."

"Very true." He gave a casual shrug. "I suppose that I can put up with being your dirty little secret for a while, after all we do have years for me to be introduced to your family."

Her smile widened, head tilting to the side as she echoed, "Years?"

"Uh huh." His fingers caressed her side gently. "I know we said we'd go slow but I know what I want from this, from us."

"I'm not used to seeing this side to you."

"I feel there's a but following this," he replied, eyes narrowed as he tried to figure out whether or not this was going to be a good addition to the sentence.

"But…" she continued, tone light and teasing. "I quite like it, don't get me wrong I like the cocky, over-confident side to you but this is nice as well, really nice."

"Such high praise."

"Make the most of it, it won't happen very often." She slowly and almost reluctantly detangled her arms from around his neck, they were meant to be taking it slow and yet already they were racing ahead with him promising her everything she wanted to hear. "Come on," she gave him a small half smile. "We should probably get going if we want to get there on time."

Once again he caught her hand. "Hey, everything alright?" he asked, his gaze serious now as his eyes met hers.

She nodded, pushing her free hand through her hair. "It's fine, I just think we were going a bit too fast there, we agreed to go slow-"

"So hold the talk about our future for just now," he guessed.

"Exactly," she nodded.

Robbie nodded, looking slightly disappointed but going along with the request nonetheless. "I can do that," he told her. "Can do whatever it takes to make this work."

Again she sighed, she felt like she was getting this wrong, somehow felt as though she were letting him down when all she was trying to do was protect them from any potential fallout. "I don't mean to sound as though I don't want this, I do," she insisted. "But I want us both to be sure that this is the right thing."

"Like I said," he told her lowly, confidently. "I can wait."

"Ok," her shoulders relaxed slightly as she turned again, this time unimpeded and quickly clipped her earrings into place before grabbing her bag and heading back into the hall, where Robbie was leaning against the front door, waiting.

His eyes lit up when he saw her, sweeping down over her figure and then back up again. "You know, I think I forgot to mention just how good you look." He gave her a lopsided smile. "You always did scrub up well."

"And you always sound so surprised by that," she laughed in reply.

"Not surprised, just impressed."

"What that I can cover up my flaws so well?"

"You don't give yourself enough credit and I'm trying to give you a compliment," he teased. "You're meant to smile and politely accept it."

"I shall keep that in mind," she replied, her smile not so much as flickering. "Now come on," she wrapped her hand around his forearm. "If we don't leave now we'll miss the curtain going up."

* * *

><p>"Can't believe I let you talk me into taking you to the theatre," Robbie groaned as they left the Citizens later that night.<p>

Jackie looked up at him in surprise. "I thought it was quite good."

"Eh," he made a non-committed mumble in the back of his throat.

"You're so uncultured," she breathed out, taunting him. "Didn't you at least enjoy the music, I mean come on it's the Beatles!"

He pulled a face, his nose wrinkling. "Was never really that into them."

"I give up." She rolled her eyes in despair. "Well I enjoyed it even if you didn't."

Wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her into his side, he told her, "I enjoyed spending time with you outside work, seeing you smile and watching you mouth along with the lyrics." He laughed aloud as that image popped back into his head.

"Stop it," she told him, slapping his hand lightly.

Still his shoulders shook with almost silent laughter, before he finally asked, "You hungry?"

"I'm starving as it happens, why?"

"Well I don't think that there's any restaurants open at this time, or but I know a good chippy not far from here." His fingers brushed over her knuckles as he added jokingly, "Not quite up to the standard of the salad bars you've been stalking for the past few weeks but if you think you can lower yourself for one night…Ow!"

He winced as she pinched him in retaliation. "I love how even though we're out on a date you still don't bother to try and charm me." She put her hand against her heart almost mockingly. "I can't begin to tell you how special that makes me feel."

"It should," he told her seriously. "So?" he asked hopefully, desperate for this night not to end just yet. "What do you think?"

"I think that I'm absolutely starving and that that sounds like the most amazing idea I've heard in sometime."

"Good." His face broke into a relaxed smile. "Come on, it's just over the bridge."

"Easy for you to say 'just' you're not wearing heels," she laughed.

"Don't really have the legs for them."

"Ass."

"Keep this up and you'll be buying your own chips, Reid."

"You don't mean that." Her fingers entwined with his. "Just making empty threats."

"Right just for that you're getting mine as well."

* * *

><p>He glanced over at Jackie, smiling slightly when he saw that she had fallen asleep, her head resting against the passenger side window. The way the street lights reflected through the window made her skin gleam pearly white so that in the night it looked like silk and contrasted with the dark gloss of her hair, and as a result all he could think about was tangling his fingers into her hair and trailing his lips along her skin.<p>

At that thought he shifted in his seat, slow, he thought to himself, they were taking this slow, he'd fucked this up once so he was going to do as she asked and not rush this. As he pulled into her street and stopped in front of her flat, he nudged her gently with his fingertips, if he knew where she kept her keys he'd just have carried her in, but he didn't so this was the only option. Well, he amended himself with a slight smile, he could take her back to his flat but he wasn't entirely sure how well that would go down with her.

She jerked slightly, making a small noise of surprise as her eyes snapped open. "Oh," she mumbled in surprise. "I'm home."

"Yup, didn't want to wake you, but I didn't really have a choice," he told her regretfully.

Rubbing her at her eyes she shook her head. "It's fine, honestly." She shot him a sleepy smile that made his stomach tie itself into knots. Leaning forward she picked up her bag, rummaging for her keys as she fought back the urge to yawn again.

He watched her intently before asking, "So about your date on Friday…"

Looking up, she half glared, half grinned at him. "Mmm what about it?"

"Do you think that if I offered to take you to dinner instead you'd blow this guy off?"

Her mouth twitched in amusement. "Why? Where were you planning on taking me?"

"Anywhere you want," he promised her.

"Well in that case how can I possibly refuse," she replied. Leaning to her side, she brushed her lips against his, smiling as she felt the way it sent shivers coursing down her spine. Pulling back before she let this go any further, she brushed her hand over his cheek, telling him gently but firmly, "Goodnight, Robbie."

Because if she stayed any longer she knew she'd be dragging him into the flat with her, with only one activity on mind and that sure as hell wasn't taking things slowly.

* * *

><p>"That was a thousand times better than that play," Robbie said with some relish as he stepped into Jackie's kitchen that Friday evening.<p>

As she shrugged off her jacket, she asked innocently, "And I suppose that wouldn't have anything to do with the waitress with the low cut blouse and short skirt?"

"Nothing whatsoever, more to do with the attractive brunette sitting across from me."

"That was such a cheesy line," she replied, eyes twinkling.

"See!" He held his hands up in exasperation. "I try to be charming and what do I get? Mocked."

"You can be charming without resorting to stereotypes you know," she told him.

"I'll keep that in mind. So better than your blind date?"

She turned to face him and shrugged. "I don't suppose I'll ever find out," she replied lightly.

"God I take you wherever you want to go and still you're not happy."

"I love how you offer to take me these places and then complain about it afterwards," Jackie laughed. "I'm beginning to feel like I have to make it up to you."

"You don't," he was quick to assure her. "I like spending time with you, doesn't matter where."

She gave a casual shrug. "Ok, well I was going to suggest the football tomorrow but since you feel like that I can always find something more cultured for us to do." She grinned at him wickedly.

He caught her by her hips as she made to walk past him and pulled her back into him, his mouth lowering to her ear he replied, "You're a cruel woman, Jackie."

"I know," she smiled.

Deciding to take a chance he slipped his hand underneath her top, fingers brushing against her bare stomach, eliciting a small shiver from her. "So football tomorrow then?"

She nodded. "Uh huh, although I have to warn you I like my team to win."

"So you're going to be in a bad mood if they don't."

"I might be," she admitted, her breath catching slightly as he slowly began to edge her top up.

"Just need to work on some techniques that might cheer you up," he breathed out.

She chuckled under her breath as her head fell back against his shoulder and she curved her hand around his neck, tugging his lips to hers. After a few minutes she twisted in his arms, mouth opening under his, the kiss quickly spiralling out of control. As her fingers fumbled slightly on the buttons of his shirt, he broke the kiss and breathed out, "Jacks, this isn't exactly slow."

"Screw slow," she replied firmly, she wanted him so badly she could barely think straight, all she wanted was to feel his hands on her again, wanted so badly to touch his warm skin again.

It was all he needed to hear, his mouth and hands were back on he with a vengeance, pulling her top over her head and unclasping her bra quickly, his mouth covering the bare flesh the minute it was exposed to him.

Her fingers tightened in his hair, gasping as his mouth toyed with each nipple in turn, she felt as though her skin was oversensitive and every movement sent her closer to losing complete control.

Robbie pushed her skirt up, lifting her onto the kitchen table and covering her body with his as she shoved her trousers and boxers to the floor in one swift movement, legs wrapping around his waist as she pulled him closer to her.

He groaned as he flexed his hips against hers and as she felt him wrench her underwear to one side, a flash of reason crossed her brain and breaking the kiss she gasped, "Wait, we need something." She might have let herself get carried away with him once, but she wasn't one for making the same mistake twice.

Nodding, he slipped his fingers between her legs, teasing her as he asked, "Where are they?"

Gasping, she tried to think and then answered in dismay, "I don't have any, do you?"

His groan this time was one of deep disappointment. "No, you said you wanted to go slow and I didn't want it to look like I was expecting anything."

Despite her frustration she couldn't help but laugh. "God we couldn't have timed this worse."

She gave a shudder as his fingers pushed inside her, her hips arched into him, he smiled against her neck as her eyes fluttered closed, telling her, "True, but I do have some other tricks up my sleeve."

* * *

><p>The room was dark, the air heavy as Robbie let his hands drift down Jackie's bare back, finger brushing against her spine, the movement causing her to mumble and press herself closer to him. He smiled, she was dead to the world and he couldn't help but feel quite pleased with himself about that fact. His hands brushed up over the curve of her waist, his knuckles brushing against her breast, prompting her to give a small moan.<p>

Lowering his mouth to her neck, he decided to continue with his self appointed task of waking her up, his fingers flexing against her breasts which felt even fuller since the last time they'd been together, not that he was going to complain about that. Her eyes opened as he ran his tongue down the line of her throat and she gave a contented mumble. "Now this is the way to wake up."

"Mmm," he muttered in agreement. "And feel free to replace your alarm with me."

She laughed. "I might just consider that." Her head fell back as his tongue circled a nipple, mouth open as she panted. Finally she pressed her hand against his shoulder and pushed him onto his back. "I think that it's time for me to repay the favour again," she told him.

He groaned as her mouth and hands roamed over him, heading steadily southwards. Not having sex with Jackie was better than having sex with any of the random blondes he'd pulled over the years. He bit back the words 'I love you' knowing that if he said it now then she wouldn't believe him, but decided no matter how long it took he was going to say it and he was going to make sure she knew that it was the truth.


	7. Chapter 7

"Just how many layers do you have on?" Robbie asked, grinning widely as he watched Jackie wind her scarf around herself.

"Considering that it's mid February and sitting at zero, not enough," Jackie grumbled in reply, glancing up at him and seeing his expression she added, "What? I get really cold easily."

"I'll get you a coffee from the van when we get there," he told her magnanimously. "Help heat you up."

She grimaced, shaking her head, coffee was something she still hadn't regained a taste for despite the fact that the sick feeling that had been plaguing her finally seemed to be fading, although it did still rear it's head at the most awkward of moments. "That's nice of you but I don't really want one."

His head tilted slightly to one side. "You still off that?"

"Uh huh."

"I suppose that explains your sudden ability to fall asleep at the drop of a hat," he mused.

"Or…" she countered, smiling up at him. "It could just be that we work ridiculously long hours and I'm exhausted, that and I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that people's tastes change as they get older."

He gave a derisive snort. "You make it sound as though you're already ancient and getting older by the second."

"Technically the second part's true," she reminded him, before frowning over at him and adding, "And less of the ancient. Tell you what instead of a coffee you could always get me a hot chocolate."

"So we moved from being to decrepit to re-living our childhood in the space of about a minute," he replied, glancing at his watch.

"Hmmm and with such diverse conversations going on it's important that you always pay attention to what I'm saying," she replied, smiling at him.

"I always pay attention to what you say," he teased. "I just don't always follow your advice."

Jackie tutted, shaking her head as she pulled on her gloves. "Right, I'm ready to go."

"What, no thermal underwear?" he asked, struggling to keep a straight face.

"Why do you get a kick out them?" came her smart reply.

Robbie laughed as he followed her out the door. "I get a kick no matter what it is you're wearing."

* * *

><p>"You want the heating on?" he asked as they slipped into the car after the match and he'd glanced over to see her sitting shivering, her teeth chattering together.<p>

"Please," she replied, nodding gratefully. "God it's freezing out there, it was a good match though."

He grinned at that. "It was, ref was a bit of a sod right enough."

"I think that's part of the job description."

"You fancy going to the pub, get a drink to celebrate?" he asked, eager that their time together didn't end so soon.

"I'd prefer not to," she answered honestly. "Half a glass of wine and I'd be asleep across your lap."

"And if you're going to be in my lap I'd prefer you weren't sleeping," he joked, trying to keep the disappointment out of his face.

"You always have to drag the conversation down a level," Jackie laughed. "We could always do something else though? If you wanted to of course."

"I'd like that, you got anything in mind?"

"There are other ways to celebrate," she continued thoughtfully, a teasing smile pulling at her lips as she ran her hand over his thigh.

He caught her hand - after all he had to stay collected enough to drive. "Now that sounds a million times better than the pub, your place or mine?"

"Mine, although if you wanted to stay the night then we could always stop off at your flat and you could grab a change of clothes."

"Am I really going to need clothes?" he asked as he leaned into her, brushing his mouth against her earlobe.

"Well if you want to face Burke's wrath tomorrow when you walk in stark bollock naked you go right ahead."

"So cruel."

"You keep saying that, but I prefer to think of it as realistic," she replied, her lips curled into a smile as she nudged the corner of his mouth lightly with hers.

He let her draw him into the kiss, it quickly turning deep, almost forceful, they were desperate for each other, getting as close as their current positions would allow. Finally the kiss ended, although as to who actually ended it was unclear. She still had her arms around his neck and his fingers were still tangled in her hair, lust filled eyes met and his voice was somewhat hoarse as he managed to get out, "We need to get out of here."

"We do, but you're the one with the car keys," she replied cheekily.

* * *

><p>He left her sitting in the car with the engine running so that she could keep the heating on as he ran up to his flat and hastily began shoving clothing into a bag and grabbing a suit. As he passed his bedside drawers he paused, as much as he'd enjoyed the activities of last night he really didn't want to be caught short again. Yanking the drawer open he snatched them up and pushing them into the side pocket of his sports bag made a bolt for the door. He felt like he'd waited years for this opportunity - in a way he had - and he wasn't planning to waste time now that it was here.<p>

Getting back to the car he opened the back door and threw his stuff into the backseat, not registering the dull thud of something falling out the bag and hitting the floor. Jackie however had heard it, and twisting in her seat picked up the small box, looking at him in great amusement as he slipped into the driver's seat. "A twelve pack huh? Wow you're ambitious."

Robbie frowned for a moment before his gaze followed hers and landed on the box in her hands. He shot her one of his boyish grins, "You know what they say, it's best to be prepared," he replied.

She laughed, loudly. "I don't believe for one moment that you were a boy scout, but since I don't want us to have to stop the proceedings like we did last night then I'm glad you thought about this."

"Have to admit I never thought I'd be the sensible one." He started the engine as he spoke, while a voice in his head refused to stop niggling at him, she said they'd take this slow and yet at the moment things seemed to be racing ahead. And while he didn't have a problem with this he didn't want her to regret doing anything impulsive, didn't want it to affect their long term future.

His fingers tapped against the steering wheel and he only resisted the urge as he realised that he had to ask, had to make sure she wanted this for the right reasons. "Out of interest, what happened to taking it slow?"

Jackie glanced over at him. "Is this you saying you want us to slow down?" she asked in concern.

He shook his head vehemently. "Christ no, it's just you seemed so sure that you wanted us to go at a snails pace and yet less than a week later we're spending the night together. I just want you to be sure, Jacks"

She nodded, she could understand where he was coming from and knowing him as she did she knew it wasn't easy for him to put his own desires to one side out of concern for hers. "In some ways I still do," she replied honestly. "I know that I want us to be sure before we tell anyone but I also know that I want more than just dates out with you. If this is going to work then surely it has to work on every level."

Robbie looked at her thoughtfully. "So basically you're saying that you find me irresistible," he finally replied teasingly, deciding that they needed a bit of levity injected into an otherwise serious moment. After all it was one of the reasons they worked so well together, the fact that they were able to make the other laugh when times were dire or when life started to get a tad too serious.

* * *

><p>The heat of the car was getting to her, it was so hot it felt almost suffocating. Swallowing heavily, Jackie fiddled with the heater, turning it down while simultaneously trying to take off her scarf. "All those layers finally getting to you?" Robbie asked, amused.<p>

She nodded, she didn't feel like she was able to actually speak about now and anyway she didn't want to worry him and if he knew exactly how rotten she felt he'd feel horribly guilty for joking about it, she knew he would. He turned into her street, killing the car engine as he pulled up outside her front door and she was out the car in an instant, stepping out into the cool air and trying to take deep breaths.

Robbie was beside her in an instant. "You alright?"

Jackie shot him a wobbly smile that he was sure was meant to reassure him but didn't. "I'm fine," she told him, finally having regained a bit more control over herself. "Just overheated a bit, now lets get inside before I get too cold."

His mouth twitched, "God you're demanding." He waved his hand towards her door. "Lead the way then."

Her legs feeling slightly shaky, she walked towards her front door, unlocking it swiftly as she tried to ignore the buzzing in her ears. All she need to do was sit down and she'd be fine, the cool air was already helping a bit, as she stepped inside the hall, she grimaced as the heat hit her full on and she briefly remembered that she'd left the heating on so the flat was warm for her getting back.

The buzzing got louder and she didn't even register the sound of Robbie closing the front door behind himself, in fact she didn't register anything at all.

Robbie heard Jackie mumble something and turned away from the door in time to see her slowly start to crumple and fall. Lunging forward he caught her just before her head bounced off her side table. "Jackie!" he called out, lowering her carefully onto the floor as he worriedly took in her ashen complexion and closed eyes.

"Jacks!" He tried again, his hands cupping her face, fingers stroking along her cheekbones as he tried to figure out what the hell he should do.

Thankfully at that moment her eyes flickered open before almost instantly settling into a frown, a frown that Robbie had never been more relived to see, she'd only been out for a few seconds but they'd felt more like hours. For a moment she just looked at him before asking in confusion, "Why am I on the floor?"

"Because you passed out," he replied almost gruffly. "I think I should call a doctor or something…"

She caught his arm as he made to stand and shook her head. "Don't," she told him as she sat up. "I just got too hot, that's all." Her fingers fumbled with the buttons of her jacket as she attempted to undo it, her fingers shaking slightly from the shock of what had just happened.

"Let me help," Robbie told her gently, helping her shrug the jacket off her shoulders and throwing it one side. As Jackie got to her feet, he wrapped his arm around her waist, supporting her slightly. "Think you should sit down," he insisted.

"I'm honestly ok now," she tried to tell him, although she didn't even attempt to push away his support and she let him lead her into her living room. She sat down on the sofa and closing her eyes, leaned back against the cushions.

"I'll make you some tea or something," Robbie mumbled. "You should probably eat something as well."

Her eyes staying closed, she gave a small nod and she heard his footsteps move away. She still felt slightly sick and shaky but she was slowly starting to feel back to normal again. By the time Robbie came back through she had shifted so that her legs were across the sofa, and she smiled up at him reassuringly. "I'm feeling fine now," she told him as she took the proffered tea and biscuits from him, quite liking the image of Robbie in her kitchen, going about as though he belonged there.

"Good." He lifted her legs and sat down, letting them fall so they were across his lap, he rubbed at one calf as he continued, "You bloody well scared me there."

"I'm sorry," she told him sincerely as she sipped at her tea. "Forgot I'd left the heating on."

His eyes met hers. "Maybe you should get checked out, that's not like you."

She shook her head as she told him stubbornly, "That would be a waste of time." She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "I'm fine now, promise."

He nodded, although he looked completely unconvinced by her words.

* * *

><p>Jackie gave a soft sigh as she snuggled closer into Robbie's embrace, having long given up the pretence that she was actually watching the TV. As nice as this was, sitting with him, laughing and joking together, it wasn't exactly what she'd had in mind for the night. It was unbelievably frustrating, she wanted him and yet since her dizzy spell, he'd spent the rest of the evening treating her as though she were made of glass.<p>

Well she'd had enough, and deciding to take matters into her own hands she leaned up slightly and began kissing her way up his neck, fingers curling around his jaw. She felt the arm that was wrapped around her waist stiffen in surprise and she couldn't help but smile. Throwing her leg across both of his, she shifted so that she was straddling his lap as her lips kissed up to the corner of his mouth. She kissed him lightly, lips just grazing his and she felt his grip tighten on her as he pulled her closer. The kiss deepened quickly until she was moaning into his mouth and then suddenly, he pulled back.

"What…" She blinked at him in confusion, her breath already falling in breathless pants.

He shook his head. "We shouldn't be doing this, you've not been well, you should be taking it easy."

"That was hours ago," she pointed out reasonably. "And it was only because I got overheated." She kissed his lips chastely, breathing out, "Robbie…as wonderful as you've been over the last few hours this is not how I imagined tonight going."

He afforded her a small grin. "Got to admit it's not what I had planned either."

"So I think it's about time we got things back on track," she told him firmly, even as her fingers deftly undid the buttons on his shirt. "What do you think?"

Robbie's fingers ran through her hair as he looked at her, her eyes were bright, her skin flushed pink, she looked fine, better than fine. She was most likely right, earlier had been an odd, worrying blip, something to put quickly behind them. His hands slid down her waist and then underneath her top, to cup her breasts, he rubbed his thumb over the material of her bra and she gave a small moan, hips jerking slightly. He smiled as the flush across her cheeks darkened, and replied, "I think you have some good ideas DS Reid."


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for all your reviews so far :)**

**These snippets take place over a the timespace of a few weeks.**

* * *

><p>Robbie padded silently through Jackie's hallway and paused in the doorway as he watched her buttering toast and humming happily along to the radio as she did so. He smiled, only just holding back a chuckle as his eyes trailed over her. It had only been a week since they'd started sleeping together again but slow appeared to have disappeared by the wayside - something he was actually quite happy about. They spent most nights together, whether they went out or not and even though he knew he loved her and he knew that he wanted this more than anything else, he'd also been slightly surprised by the fact he wasn't bored and trying to distance himself from her like he usually would. Everything was working, was falling nicely into place, and he loved the feeling that provoked in him.<p>

Pushing himself off the doorframe, Robbie stalked forward, his arms circling around Jackie's waist, fingers interlinking over her stomach.

She jumped slightly in surprise before relaxing into his embrace as he told her, "You know for someone who claims they're not a morning person, baby you look good."

Jackie gave a groan. "Please don't use pet names."

"I give you a compliment and that's the bit you focus on," Robbie laughed.

"I really hate being called baby," she told him, laughing slightly as she did so.

"So any other nickname would be ok?" He replied, obviously teasing her. "So what about honey? Or sweetie?"

"Stop it." She hit his shoulder with the back of her hand. "Or this won't end well for you."

Reaching out, he grabbed a slice of toast, keeping his other hand on her hip as he took a bite. Swallowing he kissed her cheek. "Love the fact that you cook for me as well."

"Well toast will probably be as posh as it gets in here," she replied easily. "And don't expect it every day."

"Is this so I appreciate it more when I get it."

"Something like that."

"So long as we don't start applying the same rule to sex, then I can live with that," he told her with a lopsided grin.

"Oh no," she tilted her head back to kiss his cheek. "That would never do."

He laughed again. "A woman after my own heart, I think that I might even cook you breakfast some time."

Her eyes settled into a considered frown. "Is this going to be like the time you promised to cook me dinner?"

"Are you ever going to let that go?"

Jackie shook her head. "Hmmm, probably not."

He kissed the curve where her neck met her shoulder before telling her lightly, "You know I don't remind you of any of the stupid things you've done."

"I don't do stupid things," she was quick to retort, her brown eyes twinkled merrily at him, silently daring him to continue with this particular line of conversation.

"No," he replied sincerely. "You're perfect." He twirled her around, his hands sliding down to cup her ass as he told her, "utterly perfect and all mine."

Jackie smiled at his charming words, she knew from his expression that he meant what he said and so she just let herself relax into his embrace, lips meeting his as she kissed him back deeply.

* * *

><p>Her fingers curled into the bed sheet, her back arching as she bit down on her bottom lip in an attempt to muffle her moans as Robbie's mouth continued to trail up her inner thigh. His hands gripped her thighs, drawing them over his shoulders before sliding his hands up to her hips, fingers curling around them almost possessively as his mouth moved over her.<p>

A cry escaped her throat when his tongue flickered against the spot she wanted him most, one hand moving to his head, fingers curling into his hair as she urged him on.

She couldn't have kept still if she tried, he was far too good at this for that, she managed to moan out his name, but even getting out words past that was near impossible. Then his fingers joined his mouth and she suddenly felt like she couldn't possibly pull in enough air as the coil of pressure building in the bottom of her stomach tightened.

A few more seconds though and it snapped, she tensed for a moment and then cried out as her body shuddered, the rush of pleasure intense.

His movements slowed as he edged her down from her high and she slumped back against his pillows, eyes still firmly shut as she panted. He moved up her body, kissing her thighs then up her stomach, his lips teasing her nipples for a moment, coaxing a small shiver and a whimper from her before moving up her neck and finally kissing her lips gently.

Jackie's eyes fluttered open to look into his face that was alight with proud satisfaction. "God you look so smug," she breathed out, even as she slid her arms over his shoulder and pulled him down to her.

"With good reason, I feel," he replied, a lilt of laughter in his tone.

"Modesty is definitely a concept that is lost on you."

"Modesty never gets anyone anywhere."

"Is that a fact?" she asked, as she reached over to the bedside table, grabbing the small foil square, opening it quickly and rolling it over him as his fingers tangled into her hair.

"Well known one," he told her as he rolled her onto her back, smiling as her legs wrapped themselves around his waist. He smothered her reply with his mouth, kissing her deeply, his tongue meeting hers as he twisted his hips and slide inside her with one easy thrust. She moaned into his mouth, fingers digging into his shoulders, legs tightening as she tried to urge him on.

Still he waited, savouring the moment before finally moving, slowly at first, drawing it out and letting her moans and sighs wash over him. Their bodies were pressed tightly together, skin slick with sweat as they moved together, until finally it was becoming too much and his hips began to jerk frantically against hers.

She threw her head back, trying to suck in more air as her name fell from his lips and they toppled over the edge together.

He pressed his mouth against the hollow of her throat as her lips trailed across his forehead as they both tried to catch their breath. Finally he rolled them both over so the they were on their sides and she was pulled into him, hand splayed across his chest.

After a moment, he slipped out of the bed disposing of the used condom before slipping back under the covers and tugging her back into his embrace again. Even though he'd only been away for a few moments he'd missed her warmth.

Glancing down at her, Robbie smiled as he saw her try and fail to stifle a yawn, her eyes closing over from exhaustion. He waited until her breathing had evened out and he was confident she was asleep before finally letting the words he'd forced back earlier come out. He kissed the top of her head gently, murmuring, "God I love you, Jacks."

* * *

><p>"You're late," Burke growled as Robbie attempted and failed to sneak into his seat unnoticed.<p>

Robbie shot him an apologetic look and running his hand through his already dishevelled hair, muttered, "Sorry Boss, car wouldn't start."

Burke gave a snort. "Aye that'll be why you wearing yesterday's shirt, give it a rest Robbie, do I look like I button up the back?"

With that the older man stomped back in the direction of his office, grumbling as he went. Jackie however merely shot him a knowing smile as she slipped passed him, only pausing to straighten his tie. Stuart grinned up at him from his desk, taking in his dishevelled appearance for a minute before commenting, "That's the third time this week that you've rolled in late." His smile widened as he added, "Someone been keeping you up?"

Out of the corner of his gaze, he could see Jackie try and fail to repress a smile as she focussed on her computer screen. He shrugged, "You know me Stuartie, never one to kiss and tell."

The younger man's eyes widened at that claim. "Um no I think you'll find that you're usually more than happy to crow about you conquests."

"Things change," Robbie commented lightly.

Stuart simply blinked at him, when it came to Robbie's behaviour this wasn't the first time in the last few weeks that he'd felt like he'd slipped into the twilight zone. "Careful, Robbie," he replied with a hint of a smile. "You're starting to sound as though you might be serious about this one."

Conscious of the fact that Jackie had paused in her work and was simply pretending that she wasn't listening to his answer he thought befor he spoke for once. "Either way I wouldn't be telling you, would I now?" he replied easily. He knew that Jackie wanted things kept quiet for just now and she mattered too much to him to put their relationship at risk just to satisfy Stuart's curiosity.

Stuart's eyebrows just about shot through his forehead, you normally couldn't shut Robbie up about the virtues of his latest bird. As Robbie disappeared into the kitchen in search of some much needed coffee, Stuart looked over at Jackie. "Well?" he asked.

Jackie jumped slightly in surprise, she'd been too busy watching Robbie walk away, deliberating on his words. She'd been relieved that he'd simply shut down the conversation with Stuart, she was enjoying the relationship they had without the adding pressure of everyone at work watching their every move. "What?" she asked, looking over at the young DC.

"You didn't think that was weird?" he questioned.

She shrugged. "Maybe a little."

He snorted. "Weirdest thing I've ever said and a tenner says it ends in tears by the end of the month."

Jackie's lips thinned and she shook her head, deciding just to ignore that comment.

* * *

><p>Waking up, Jackie reached over, searching for Robbie and was disappointed when she found that what she already thought of as his side of the bed was empty. She stared at the empty spot in annoyance, she wanted him, really really wanted him, it seemed like ever since they'd started seeing each other she couldn't get enough of him.<p>

She jumped him at every available opportunity - not that he ever complained about that, in fact he seemed more than happy about that side to their relationship. Tilting her head slightly, she was able to hear the faint drum of the shower in the background causing a plan to pop into her mind. Smiling she slid from the bed and headed for the bathroom, not bothering to pull her dressing gown on, that seemed to be a waste of time considering what she had in mind. Walking into the bathroom, she opened the shower door and slipped into the cubicle.

Hearing the door open, Robbie turned and grinned when he saw her. "Now this is my idea of an early morning surprise," he told her as she wrapped herself around him, mouth trailing up and over his throat.

"Wondered if you needed someone to scrub your back?" she asked, eyes twinkling.

"Not the first idea that came to mind when I saw you," he replied, his mouth trailing down her breasts, tongue flickering out against one already pebbled nipple.

"Oh God!" she gasped out, hands slipping against his wet skin, her head lowering to his damp hair and inhaling the smell of his shampoo. "Don't stop," she told him.

"That's the last thing I'm about to do," he assured her, mouth trailing up and over her collarbone. When she grabbed his head and guided his lips to hers, he groaned as she nipped at his bottom lip, her tongue slipping into his mouth. He could tell from the way she was pushing herself against him that this wasn't going to be slow and sensual, it was too desperate, too needy for that, and he loved how they could switch between the two, sometimes even managing to combine them.

He pushed her against the wall and she let out a gasp as the cold tiles hit her back. Robbie grinned at that, "Don't worry, I'll warm you up," he reassured her.

"You and your lines," she muttered against his throat, her breath hitching as he hoisted her legs up and wrapped them around his waist.

"You love them." He slid his hand down between her legs, teasing her for a few seconds, before pushing her further against the wall and thrusting into her, hard.

Her head fell back against the wall and she gave a guttural groan, she didn't think she'd ever felt so full as she did when she was with him. He thrust hard and fast into her as she ground her hips against him, heels digging into his lower back, mouths locking together. As they came closer to the edge, Robbie slowed his rhythm, drawing the moment out, Jackie's mouth tearing away from his as her head fell back against the wall. Hearing the guttural moans tearing from her throat, and the way she twisted in his grasp he knew she was just as close as he was and thrust up hard one more time, revelling in her hoarse yell, his grip tightening on her waist and he almost shouted her name as he let himself go, taking her with him.

The following moments passed slowly as they both came down from their high, Jackie's legs slipped from his waist and landing shakily on the floor, Robbie's fingers running through her damp wet hair as he pressed his forehead against hers. "I vote we do this every time we have a shower."

She smiled, her head dropping to his shoulder. "Suppose it would save on water."

"And saving the environment is always an added bonus," he commented, laughing as he stroked his fingers down her neck. "Think we have time for another?"

"Not really," she replied regretfully. "Think it'll look pretty suspicious if we're both late."

"Suppose it will, rain check then?"

"Definitely," she smiled against his mouth, letting herself be drawn into another deep kiss.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you cooked," Jackie commented, spearing a piece of pasta. "Actually that's not strictly true, what I can't believe is that you can cook."<p>

"I did tell you that I could."

"Thought that was just one of your lines." She chewed the pasta and swallowed, closing her eyes and making a small noise of contentment. "Oh God home made pasta is amazing, I don't think I can go back to dried or from a packet, I'll be expecting this all the time."

"Does that mean I'll be getting breakfast everyday?" he asked, teasing her.

"That could be a fair exchange," she replied thoughtfully. "This is nice," she added. "I'm quite glad we decided to stay in now."

"You fancy watching a film after this?"

"Did you have something in mind?"

"There's an action film coming on that looks quite good."

"Sounds like a good idea."

"You want anymore wine?" he asked, picking up the bottle and inclining it towards her glass.

Jackie shook her head. "No thanks, I've not had any in so long that just that one glass has left me feeling tipsy."

"I like you tipsy," Robbie commented, grinning.

"I know," she replied in amusement. "You've told me that before."

"Some things are worth repeating."

"Is that so?"

"Definitely."

Pushing her now empty plate away from her, Jackie asked, "Will we just take dessert through with us?"

"If that's what you want," he replied, unbothered by where they ate dessert.

"Think so." She got to her feet and began gathering everything they'd need as he simply watched her in amusement, he liked seeing the super organised side to Jackie, it amused him beyond belief.

Getting up, he took the stuff off her silently and took it through for her, and they settled down on the sofa together quite happily.

Later when dessert was finished, Jackie was lying across the sofa, her head across his knees, batting his hand away when every so often it attempted to snake up her top. "Stop it," she finally told him, laughing. "We're meant to be watching this."

His hand brushed gently over her exposed collarbone. "You look good," he told her sincerely and she did, her skin was almost glowing with health and her dark hair somehow still managing to shimmer in the dimmed light of the room.

"Such a charmer."

"Does it count as charm if it's the truth?"

"I think so."

"Your eyes are sparkling."

"I'm happy," she told him honestly. "I like this, I like us, that and I think I've finally kicked that bloody virus."

"Just glad I didn't catch it."

"God you're so caring at times."

He laughed, his fingers enfolding over hers. "I try."

"You're certainly trying," she agreed.

He pulled a face at her. "Funny."

"I thought so," she agreed.

Silence fell for a moment, and Robbie ran his fingers over hers before clearing his throat almost awkwardly. "Jacks."

"Hmmm?" She tilted her head slightly so she could get a better view of him, catching sight of the expression on his face, she stiffened slightly. "What is it?" she asked in concern.

"Nothing bad," he assured her quickly. "I just…" he cleared his throat again, why was this so difficult, he shouldn't be so worried about this. "I wanted to say that I love you."

She blinked at him, her mouth opening slightly, she couldn't believe that he'd been so nervous about saying that to her. Without sounding big-headed about it she kind of already knew, she could tell from the way he acted around her, the way he treated her with so much care and attention. Pushing herself up into a sitting position, she cupped his face and told him, "I love you too."

His expression immediately relaxed. "That definitely calls for some celebration," he told her. "Sod the film."

"I was enjoying the film," she laughed.

"I'll buy you it then," he told her as he got to his feet and tugged her to hers, pulling her determinedly towards the bedroom, as he added, "Anyway, they say actions speak louder than words."

* * *

><p>Jackie frowned and made a noise of annoyance in the back of her throat as she attempted to draw the edges of her trousers closer together - it wasn't working, not even a little bit, not even if she breathed in. She couldn't understand it, her diet was better than ever, she might not technically exercise a lot but surely she was burning a ton of calories with all the sex she'd been indulging in. So really if anything she should be losing weight.<p>

Turning to look at her figure side on in the mirror, she frowned, her breasts were definitely bigger, the new bras she'd had to buy the month before were proof of that and she was sure that her waistline was rapidly disappearing. She'd never had that perfectly flat, toned stomach that most women coveted but at the same time she was sure it was normally flatter than it was at this moment in time. She was definitely getting a pooch she mused.

"What are you doing?" Robbie suddenly asked from the doorway, looking at her in amusement.

She turned to face him, clad in only her underwear. "If I ask you something will you give me an honest answer?"

"Of course I will," he replied easily.

"Do you think I've put on weight?"

He felt his blood run cold at that question, he'd learned over the years that there was never a happy ending to that question, somehow it always ended with the cold shoulder, or worse; tears. "Of course not," he answered immediately.

Jackie's eyebrow arched. "You didn't even look at me before answering that."

"I don't have to, you look amazing."

"As nice as that answer is, it didn't really cover what I asked."

"The first bit did," he pointed out hopefully.

"Robbie…"

Sighing, he looked her figure up and down, a lascivious grin beginning to spread across his mouth. "You look good, Jacks," he finally told her.

"Again not an answer."

"I like your curves," he sighed, he really did hate these conversations.

"Meaning?" she asked dangerously.

"Meaning what I said, I like your curves."

"Will you still like them when I'm a size 24?"

"Are you planning to get to that size?"

"Well no…but I didn't exactly plan to get to the stage when I couldn't fit into my bloody trousers." She looked at him in annoyance. "My waistline is just about gone, I have the dreaded middle age spread."

"You're not middle aged," he told her, he wasn't even going to ask what the hell middle age spread was, he was pretty sure he just didn't want to know

"Technically I am, I'm past forty now."

He stepped forward, his hands resting on her hips. "You look amazing," he tried to reassure her. "And if need be I'll prove how good I think you look every hour on the hour."

"That might cause a few raised eyebrows at work," she replied.

He laughed deeply. "We could always take a sick day for it."

She kissed his cheek. "Thank you," she told him.

"Anytime, and I mean that."

"I know you do." She glanced down at what seemed to be her ever expanding figure. "I might start going to the gym though."

"If it makes you happy," he replied easily. "In the meantime I have a form of exercise that might help."

Laughing, Jackie told him, "One we have to go to work and two that doesn't seem to have done anything for me so far."

"Might just need to up our game then," he remarked.

"Very nice try," she replied, laughing. "Is there anything you won't try to get laid?"

"If there is I haven't found it yet."


	9. Chapter 9

As she slipped into the gym later that week, Jackie grimaced slightly as she took in the rows of skinny blondes on various bits of gym equipment who were on display through the glass window. She hadn't originally wanted to come here, she'd originally wanted to start swimming again, or at least she had before she'd tried on her swimming costume and had been horrified by how painfully it cut into her skin. So instead of buying a bigger size she'd thrown it into the back of her cupboard and decided she wasn't going anywhere near the pool until she could get back into that suit again.

Now though she wasn't so sure she'd made the right choice, maybe she just should have started going running early in the morning, preferably when it was still dark. Although since it was now the beginning of March that would have meant getting up insanely early just so she could get to work on time as well. So here she was.

Sighing, Jackie headed towards the doors that would take her into the changing rooms, not only did she have to put up with the horror of just being here, she also had to have a bloody induction. To be honest if she hadn't been so determined to shed some of the extra pounds she'd gained she simply wouldn't have bothered.

It wasn't even just the fact she'd couldn't get into half her clothes that bothered her, it was what Robbie would start to think about her new shape. She knew he genuinely liked her curves, God only knew he paid enough attention to them, but she didn't want it to seem as though she was letting herself go now that they were in a relationship of sorts. She'd seen a lot of woman traipse through his life and they all had one thing in common, they were all slim, sometimes too much so, but the fact was that he very obviously had a type and she was slightly worried that if she continued to expand at her current rate then he'd do a runner.

Part of her knew she was being ridiculous, that he loved her and that those feelings wouldn't just disappear overnight, but that didn't make her fear go away. So gritting her teeth she just decided to get on with it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She was relieved to find in the end though that the reality of the gym wasn't actually as bad as the thought of the gym. Even the instructor hadn't been too bad, they'd simply shown her how to use the machines, and so after showering and changing and feeling slightly energised from her workout, she was actually in quite a good mood.

Actually it was better than that, she felt amazing, unbelievably energized. In fact all she wanted was a ice cold orange juice and then to go home and jump Robbie. She smiled to herself, that was definitely a plan for the evening, heading towards the small fridges in the gym's café, she paid for her drink quickly before rushing out the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"How was it then?" Robbie asked when Jackie stepped into his flat a short while later.

"Better than I thought it would be," she replied, her eyes raking over him. Flashing a smile up at him, she added, "And I feel so energetic."

He raised an eyebrow at that as she stepped forward and into his personal space, her hand brushing across his shoulder. "Is that right?"

"Uh huh." Her mouth lowered to brush across his Adam's apple, before murmuring against his skin. "I was kind of looking for an outlet for all that energy, any ideas?" she asked innocently.

He somehow managed a casual shrug, although his heart was racing with excitement already as he felt Jackie's fingers slip underneath his cotton t-shirt and brush gently against his stomach, her intentions clear. "I have a few," he replied somewhat gruffly.

"Good," she breathed out as his fingers curled into her hair almost roughly and drew her head back, deciding to return the favour as he dragged his open mouth up her throat, tasting her skin as his thumb brushed almost lazily across her cheekbone, causing the flesh on her arms to break out in goose bumps. Jackie moaned as he kissed the corner of her mouth before his lips brushed against hers, the contact slight and fleeting. It was her who deepened the kiss, running her tongue along his bottom lip, her hands pulling him closer as things quickly turned more passionate.

He backed them slowly in the direction of the bedroom, expertly dodging any obstacles in their path as he pulled her inside, losing his t-shirt along the way as she drew it off him. She turned them slowly, her mouth still on his, fingers now raking greedily through his hair and across his bare shoulder as she forced him to continue moving back the way until his legs made contact with the bed and he half stumbled, half fell onto the mattress.

Robbie tried to pull Jackie down with him, but she'd somehow managed to swiftly detangle herself, so while he was sitting on the bed, she was still standing in-between his open legs. He smirked up at her, trying to tug at her hand as he told her, "Jacks, this isn't going to work like this."

"Trust me," she replied confidently. "It will."

Her previous fears and concerns about her body and about her new shape had disappeared, a fact that probably had something to do with the way he was staring at her. His eyes were fixated on her, his hands reaching out to skim along the curve her hips, stroking them even through the material of her trousers.

Curling her fingers into the hem of her top, she tugged it over her head and threw it to one side. She saw the flicker of the smile that crossed his face as his eyes darkened and this time she let him pull her closer to him until she was straddling his lap. As his mouth traced over the swell of her breasts, his fingers cupping the curve, thumb brushing across a still covered nipple, drawing a moan from her.

Somehow and Jackie wasn't sure how he managed to do it without her noticing, he'd managed to turn them so they were stretched full length across the bed. He stripped her of her clothes expertly, hands running across every inch of the pale skin he'd uncovered, his mouth following soon after.

She jerked in his embrace, every nerve ending felt like it was screaming with the need for him to keep touching her. "Robbie…" his name escaped her lips on a sigh as she pushed his trousers and boxers away, riding them of the last barrier separating them.

His hands were on her hips and she braced her hands either side of his head on the wall behind him. Hovering above him still, she lowered her head, kissing him and tugging his bottom lip into her mouth. As the kiss broke, she felt his fingers momentarily tighten around her hips before he pulled her down onto him almost roughly and without preamble.

Her back arched and she let out an excited cry at the unexpected move, while he tried to suck in deep calming breaths to stop himself from losing control at the sensation of her muscles clamping down around him.

His grip tightened slightly, but he could tell she didn't care as she pressed her hips down on his, trying to press closer and closer against him as she moaned quietly against his ear. That was almost his undoing and he thrust up against hard, her hips meeting his every thrust as she steadied one hand on his shoulder, the other still braced against the wall.

It didn't take long before the rhythm they'd settled into was all but gone, hips moving frantically together. Her walls tightened around him and he felt her mouth press against his shoulder as she tried to stifle her cries. His fingers drifted between them, pressing against her gently and her muscles spasmed around him, her back arching as she screamed out, her vision almost blacking around the edges at the intensity. With one last hard thrust and a loud groan he followed her over the edge.

Robbie let his fingers play against the damp skin of Jackie's spine, tracing indistinct patterns across it as they kissed lazily, coming slowly down from their combined high. As they parted, Robbie let his head fall against the wall. "I think I might be a gym convert," he sighed.

Jackie gave a laugh, her head resting against his shoulder. "I think," she told him, "that you have to be the one who actually goes to the gym in order to be a convert."

He gave a lazy shrug before tilting his head to look at her and asking, "So have I helped get rid of your excess energy?"

"A bit," she admitted, before pressing a kiss to his skin. "But I don't think we're quite there yet."

"Just need to try harder this time then," he sighed, although his eyes were twinkling at the thought.

"You know I've heard third time's the charm."

"Have you?" he laughed.

"Definitely, although if it isn't then we still have all night."

"You trying to kill me woman?"

"Can you think of a better way to go?" Jackie asked him in between kissing all over his torso, hands trailing across him.

"I can honestly say I can't," he replied with a grin as he rolled them both over.

* * *

><p>The somewhat haphazardly wrapped present was lowered down in front of Jackie's eyes and smiling she tilted her head back and asked, "What have you done?"<p>

Robbie simply tutted, shaking his head. "You're so suspicious," he replied mournfully. "can't a man just do something nice for his girlfriend every so often."

Her nose wrinkled. "I think we might be too old to apply that phrase."

"A lesser man would be insulted by your nitpicking." He leaned over the sofa and kissed her lips chastely. "But luckily for you I love you and that includes your nitpicking ways."

She rolled her eyes, laughing as she did so. Reaching out she took the gift from him, waiting until he'd dropped onto the sofa next to her before she opened it. Her smile widened when she saw the DVD he'd bought her. "You said you wanted to watch the end of that film, plus I thought it would be a nice keepsake."

Jackie cupped his jaw and kissed him softly. "I love that you're secretly so sentimental, and I love this." She tapped the case with the tips of her fingers.

"Good, want to watch it?"

"Absolutely, been dying to see the end of that film for about a week now."

* * *

><p>It had been a long day and all Robbie wanted was to drop onto the sofa, crack open a beer, watch some football and have Jackie curl into his side. He'd drawn the short straw and had had to stay late with Stuart, observing a suspect from a distance, and while he'd been doing that all he could think about was getting home and seeing Jackie. It had got so bad that Stuart who had tried desperately to get him to open up about who he was seeing had then started making jokes about him being whipped - not that he cared, he was far too happy to let that bother him.<p>

He let himself into her flat with the key she'd given him the day before, they'd both decided that considering their timetables it would be easier if they had the other's key. Stepping into the warmth of her hallway, he shrugged off his jacket and kicked off his shoes, he never thought he'd like being part of such a domesticated situation and yet he did, had never been happier in fact.

Moving into the living room, he paused, an amused frown crossing his features as he saw Jackie sitting on the sofa, knees curled up to her chin with tears welling in her eyes at some documentary she was watching. "What's wrong with you?" he asked.

"Nothing," she sniffled. "It's just so…sad."

"It's a documentary about a dog trainer."

"It's just that dog is about to be put down and he doesn't have a clue, he's just trotting along quite happily beside her on his lead," she choked out.

For a moment Robbie wondered if he'd fallen into a parallel universe. "You hate dogs," he finally stated.

"That doesn't mean I want them dead," she replied, her voice going up at the end of the sentence.

"Jacks…I really do hate to ask but is this a you know…time of the month thing? You know you turn into a blubbering wreck for a few days every month? Because that might take some getting used to."

She glared across at him. "No," she answered firmly. "And anyway you've known me for ten years, don't you think you would have noticed if I cried at the drop of a hat twelve times a year."

"That's true," he admitted. "But still, this," he waved his hand at her, "just isn't you." He ran a hand through his hair, giving a small yawn. "Anyway you wanting anything from the kitchen? I'm going to get a beer."

Jackie shook her head. "No, I'm fine thanks, got some bananas here so I'm good."

She watched him go, wiping her eyes and frowning as she listened to him faff about in the kitchen. His off the cuff comment had caused a slightly uncomfortable realisation, in that she suddenly realised that she hadn't actually had a period since the end of December and even that had been unusual, but she'd been so relieved to get one at all that she'd kind of dismissed her fears.

Biting down on her bottom lip she looked down at her stomach, her mind in a suddenly sickening whirl of panic.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She couldn't sleep, her head was spinning and now that the thought that she might be pregnant was stuck in her mind she just couldn't calm down, couldn't stop thinking about it. As Robbie gave a small snore, she wiggled one finger underneath his back and dug it into his flesh until he rolled back into his side. She hadn't told him about her fears, couldn't bring herself to even utter the possibility in his presence.

Glancing over to where he was sleeping peacefully, she sat up and kissed his shoulder before slipping out of the bed, tugging her dressing gown around herself. Heading into the kitchen she stared out of her window, although it was so dark all she could see was her own reflection. Looking back now she could see that she'd had every possible symptom in the book, nausea, dizziness, exhaustion, a change in her eating habits and weight gain that was relegated to only her breasts and stomach. She shut her eyes, pressing her fingertips into her forehead, and yet she'd dismissed every one of them because she'd thought she was in the clear, and yet she knew that bleeding wasn't uncommon a few days after conception, she'd read enough woman's magazines in her time.

Her eyes squeezed tighter shut, she couldn't deal with this not knowing, she had to know because if she was pregnant then she was already over three months. She gave a low moan of despair, she didn't know if she could cope with this. Still she had to know, one way or the other and she had to know now.

Moving back into the bedroom she silently thanked her lucky stars that Robbie could sleep like the dead as she grabbed a pair of jogging bottoms and a t-shirt before swiftly and silently leaving the flat.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Robbie rolled over, only half awake, reaching his hand out he frowned when all it came into contact with was cold sheets. Blinking his eyes open blearily, he peered over at the digital clock to see that it was almost two in the morning. Sitting up he called out, "Jacks?"

The silence dragged out and feeling a small flutter of panic settle in the pit of his stomach he jumped to his feet and began checking all the rooms. When he found every single one of them empty he swore loudly and grabbed his mobile to call hers, only to discover that she'd left it lying on the living room coffee table.

This wasn't right, if she'd been called out to work she would have woken him, or at least left a note and he couldn't understand why she'd walk out of her own flat in the middle of the night. Looking out the window he saw that her car was still sitting in it's space and for a moment he thought he was going to throw up.

He paced the floor of the living room, his mobile still clenched tightly in his hand. Despite the fact he was a DI with more years experience than he cared to remember he had no idea what to do next. Actually that wasn't even strictly true, he knew there was actually very little he could do in reality, because she was an adult who'd simply went out. But why? Why would she just leave? He got dressed with the intention of going to look for her before realising he didn't even know where to start, so sitting slowly down on the sofa, Robbie stared blankly ahead of himself.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there for before the front door finally clicked open, it had felt like hours but in reality he was pretty sure it hadn't been more than twenty minutes. Getting to his feet, he crossed his arms across his chest as the living room door opened slowly.

Jackie stopped on the spot, her brown eyes watching him warily. They stood in silence for a few moments before Robbie, his voice dangerously quiet, asked, "Where did you go?"

Her eyes stayed fixated somewhere on his chest, unable to meet his angry gaze as she replied, "I had to go out and get something."

"At two in the morning?"

She nodded. "Yes."

His eye fell onto the small carrier bag in her hand, he inclined his head towards it. "What was it?"

Her fingers tightened around the bag, the polythene crinkling in her grasp. "I…" she trailed off, unable to get out the words.

His voice took on an even angrier edge as he pressed ahead with his interrogation. "Come on Jackie, what was so important that you had to leave the flat in the middle of the night and _walk_ in the pitch dark to the twenty four hour shop."

"I only walked to try and clear my head," she told him quietly.

"Answer the question!" He roared, finally snapping.

After the briefest second of hesitation, she held out the bag. He took it from her and pulled out the long thin box, his face paling as he stared at the bold words that were printed across the cardboard. "You can't be," he stated, his eyes wide as he looked back up at her. "We've been so careful."

"Recently, yes," she muttered quietly.

"Name one time we haven't been," he demanded.

"The first time…before Christmas."

Robbie swallowed heavily, despite having thought about that night on numerous occasions and yet he'd never thought about the consequences that might have occurred from it. "That was three months ago," he got out croakily. "We would have known by now."

"I think I've been ignoring the signs, I didn't want to face it but they've all been there."

His eyes flickered down to her stomach and he did have to admit that it was noticeably curved underneath the thin material of her t-shirt. He shook his head, he couldn't deal with this, this couldn't be happening to them, it just couldn't be. "Just because you feel you've put on some weight-"

"It's not just that, I've been run down, there was that time I passed out, the fact I've had weird food cravings-"

"You've just been healthier," he interrupted desperately.

"I ate three whole tomatoes the other day, I hate tomatoes."

He stared at her, he had to admit that was odd, she normally wouldn't even consider eating a sandwich if it had tomatoes on it, couldn't even pick them off, insisting that she could still taste them. "It could still be a false alarm."

"Maybe, but I needed to know, I couldn't spend the rest of the night having it going around my head and not knowing the answer."

He nodded. "Right." He handed the box back to her. "You want me here for the result?"

"If you want to be here," she replied almost hesitantly, silently terrified of his reaction if it turned out to be positive, he was already panicking and she could see that. But then there was no running from this, not now.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He waited for her in the living room and when she walked back in he was staring at the floor, his fingers knotted together. She sat down next to him, asking him, "You ready to look?"

"Yeah." He watched with bated breath as Jackie turned the test over and he felt his stomach drop when he saw the word Pregnant staring back them.

For a moment he simply stared at it, he could see Jackie's hand shaking as she too looked at the result, trying to take it in. "I can't handle this," he muttered quietly, trying to avoid Jackie's stricken gaze as he got to his feet and without looking back he grabbed his jacket and walked out of the flat.


	10. Chapter 10

Robbie stared over the railings into the pitch black water below, trying to focus on the problem at hand, and he couldn't, all he could do was panic. A baby, the one thing that was guaranteed to screw up everything he and Jackie had, soon it would be no sleep, no sex and a pile of dirty nappies. That would then be followed by the inevitable rows while he tried and failed to be a good dad. He certainly hadn't accomplished that with Jamie and it wasn't like he'd really changed any, a kid was a responsibility too far for him, he couldn't do it.

Running his hands through his hair, he rested his elbows on the railings. He still shouldn't have walked out though, he knew that, but he hadn't been able to sit there, he'd felt as though the walls were closing in on him, like he couldn't breath. Because despite his terror and despite the fact he knew he'd fail and he knew he'd be crap at this he did have to go back and face her, he had no choice, he couldn't just stand here forever.

Sifting through his pockets he pulled out the packet of cigarettes he still had in his pocket and lit one, inhaling deeply as he dropped the orange smouldering ash onto the ground. After a few draws he started to feel the tension ebb ever so slightly. Another cigarette and he'd began to convince himself that that stupid test was wrong, it could easily be a false alarm, seriously how accurate could a stupid stick be?

Dropping the remainder of his fag, he crushed it under the sole of his shoe. Jackie was in her forties, women in their forties didn't just fall pregnant at the drop of a hat, even he knew that. This had been a mistake, a hellish nightmare of a mistake but one nonetheless, he was sure of it.

Digging out his car keys, he moved back towards his vehicle with new purpose, he'd fix things with Jackie and then they'd sort the rest of this mess out later.

* * *

><p>Eventually after listening to Robbie's car roar off down the street, Jackie had eventually moved from her seat on the sofa, getting shakily to her feet. The damn test was promptly binned and she crawled into her bed, waiting for sleep that never came.<p>

Shifting restlessly onto her side, she stared blankly at the wall in front of her, she couldn't believe this had happened. If she could have she would have laughed at the irony, all the times they'd spent being careful after that was on par with locking the stable doors after the horse had bolted.

Her hand moved almost hesitantly to her stomach, coming to eventually rest on the firm curve, she didn't know how she felt about this, scared definitely, although she didn't think she was anywhere near as petrified as Robbie very obviously was. In a way she could understand it, because in that moment when they'd stared at that result she'd half wanted to run away herself.

In the deafening silence, she heard a key turn in her front door and she wasn't sure if the fact Robbie had came back should relax or petrify her. His footfall seemed heavy against the hall carpet, and she stayed completely still, refusing to turn when she heard him push open her bedroom door. The first move should be his.

She heard him kick off his shoes, felt the bed dip as he climbed under the covers in just his t-shirt and boxers, his body curving against her back. He reeked of cigarette smoke as he wrapped his arm over her, hand splaying out against her ribcage and she was sure that he was being careful not to touch her stomach. He kissed her shoulder, breathing out softly, "Jackie…"

"What?" she returned equally quietly.

"I shouldn't have left like that," he admitted heavily, "it was wrong and I'm sorry."

"I get it, it was a shock." She squeezed his hand. "Anyway you're here now."

He nodded. "Figured it was best we sorted this out together."

She stiffened. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that this had obviously been a mistake, that test can't be right," he told her, his voice filled with the conviction that he was right.

"I think they're meant to be pretty accurate nowadays," she replied carefully.

"Nothing's a hundred percent."

"So what are you suggesting?"

"Nothing really, just that we should wait until we've been to the doctor's before we start panicking about what to do next, there might not be a problem to solve."

Jackie felt her heart sink, he was in denial, had convinced himself that this wasn't going to be a problem, that in a few days everything would just go back to normal. "Robbie…" she sighed softly. "I don't think that by ignoring this it's just going to go away."

His lips moved to the back of her neck. "Not ignoring it, just waiting until we know the full situation."

After a moment's hesitation she nodded. "Suppose it won't do any harm," she finally replied as she told herself that maybe all he needed was some time to get his head around what had happened.

"Exactly," he concluded triumphantly. His head pressed against her shoulder, arms tightening around her as he pulled her closer. "You should try and get some sleep," he told her.

She nodded and shut her eyes although she knew she couldn't possibly sleep. Robbie it seemed didn't have that problem, he was asleep within minutes, it would appear as though denial really wasn't just a river in Egypt, she mused to herself.

* * *

><p>"What time's your appointment?" Robbie asked casually as he straightened his cufflinks.<p>

"Half eleven. Have you decided how you're going to slip away yet?" she asked, watching him warily. She'd managed to get an appointment on one of her off duty days but that meant that he'd have to give some excuse to be there with her.

"Just gonna say I've got the dentist." He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "I'll be there, don't worry and we'll get everything sorted out, you'll see," he told her confidently before strolling out the door.

* * *

><p>"Ok, just roll up your top and unbutton your trousers," the ultrasound technician told Jackie cheerfully. "So what we're going to do today is known as a dating scan which will determine how far along you are and your probable due date."<p>

"Ok," Jackie replied, settling against the firm back of the bed, trying to ignore the fact that Robbie was beginning to look more and more uncomfortable. As the cold gel hit the gentle curve of her stomach she jumped slightly.

"Sorry, the gel is freezing," the woman sympathised with her. "Ok, lets see what we have here."

Jackie tilted her head back and shot Robbie a tentative smile which he shakily returned before she looked back over to where the screen was turned away from her. The silence seemed prolonged and was only broken by the sound of the woman clicking on a mouse. She was beginning to wonder if Robbie had been right, finally when she couldn't stand the silence any longer Jackie asked, "Is everything ok?"

"Just taking some measurements," she smiled. "Right." She looked over at them. "As suspected you're further along than three months, going from the dates given and the size of the baby I'd say you're fifteen weeks gone and your due date is the 8th of September." She turned the screen towards them, her smile wide. "As you can see everything looks perfect, and the baby is developing normally at this point in time."

Glancing over at Robbie, Jackie noted how pale and drawn he looked as his eyes stayed fixated on the screen. She turned her attention to look at their baby and her breath caught, she could see the outline of their face and the fact that they were very obviously sucking on their thumb, tiny legs flexing slightly as they did so. "They're moving," she breathed out in wonder.

"They do that quite a lot at this stage," the woman laughed lightly in reply. "They've got plenty of room at the moment so they make the most of it, but you'll probably start to feel fluttering sensations in the next couple of weeks. I'll turn the sound up so you can hear the heartbeat a bit clearer," she told them, seemingly oblivious to the expression on Robbie's face as he continued to stare at the screen.

The rapid sound of thudding filled the silent room and Jackie could feel herself start to well up slightly as she continued to stare at the wriggling baby on screen. Unthinkingly she reached to the side where Robbie's hand was resting and squeezed it lightly. Suddenly the panic she'd felt over the last two days had faded slightly, this might not have been planned but it didn't feel like the complete disaster it had felt like only minutes before, they could make this work, she knew they could.

It was at that thought she looked over at Robbie, who was still staring at the screen his eyes wide, fingers loose in hers. The technician looked between them, as she added blithely, "I'll print out a few photos for you, it won't take long."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As they walked down the corridor in an awkward silence, Jackie held out one of the pictures towards Robbie, asking, "You want one?"

He nodded, taking it from her and tucking it into his inside pocket without so much as glancing at it. She swallowed heavily. "I know this wasn't what you were expecting, but we need to face this now."

Again he simply nodded, and she sighed, telling him quietly but firmly. "I know I want to keep the baby."

At that he did look at her, surprise written across his features. "I didn't expect you to do anything else," he replied honestly.

"So what do you want?" she asked nervously.

He stopped her in her tracks, his hands curving around her forearms. "Jacks I love you, you know that."

"I know you do," she smiled nervously, feeling even that fade when his face remained set.

"But I don't want a baby," he admitted quietly. "I've done that already and I screwed it up and that in turn ripped me and Gaby apart, I can't handle making the same mistake with you."

"I'm having this baby," Jackie repeated with conviction, her eyes wide.

"I know."

She frowned. "Then what exactly are you saying, Robbie? Because we're a package deal now, you don't get one without the other it won't…it can't work like that."

"I know that too," he replied.

As realisation dawned, Jackie let out a hollow laugh. "I get it," she finally said. "You can't handle this, you're scared and you're running away." Slightly hating herself for what she was about to do, she grabbed hold of his hand, giving it a light squeeze as she told him hopefully, "This doesn't have to be like it was with Gaby and Jamie, we're different, you don't have to repeat the same old mistakes."

"Jackie I can't remember the last time I didn't fuck something up," he replied with vehemence. "I even almost ruined this before it had ever really started. I saw what my half assed attempt at parenting did to Jamie and I don't want to do that to another kid."

"So walking away is the answer!" Her voice was harder now as she stared him down, she could feel the anger bubbling inside herself. "You're just scared and I get that, but this isn't the answer."

"So what is?"

"We work through this, together, we've only just found out, you just need more time to get your head around this."

"No I don't."

Jackie just stared at him for a minute, she couldn't quite believe he was saying this to her. She knew he was panicking, could see it in his eyes but he was digging his heels in and refusing to listen to her. When her hand instinctively went to her stomach she saw him look away and suddenly she couldn't just stand there and argue with him anymore, couldn't bare it. "You know what!" she snapped. "Do what you want."

With that she turned and walked away from him, leaving him standing there in the corridor, watching her go. He rocked forward on his foot slightly, fighting the urge to go after her, but he couldn't deal with this, he just couldn't, and surely it was better to just be honest about that.

* * *

><p>He found himself on the roof later that afternoon, he'd had to get away from the case, even if only for a few minutes. Rumaging in his pockets for the emergency packet of fags he'd started keeping on himself again, his fingers curled around the thin sheet that was the ultrasound photo.<p>

Drawing it out of his pocket he stared at it, that was his and Jackie's kid, someone who would be completely dependent on them. The difference was he could see Jackie taking like a duck to water to that role, while he would flounder. And while he could live with Gaby's resentment he couldn't live with Jackie's.

Not that that made much difference, he'd never seen her angrier than when she'd stormed away from him. He felt like he was losing everything and he'd worked so hard to win Jackie over in the first place, he wanted someone to blame but the truth was there was only himself, because if he wasn't such a fuck up he'd be there with her right now.

One last look at the picture and he shoved it away again; he needed a drink.

* * *

><p>Jackie tapped her fingers against her kitchen worktop, trying to plan her next step. She liked order, she liked to be in control, something she wasn't in at the moment.<p>

Sighing, she took another sip of her hot chocolate, she could understand Robbie's knee jerk reaction but that didn't mean she had to like it and in that moment at the hospital it had been a choice between getting the hell away from him or hitting him until he saw sense. After twelve years she felt like she knew him inside and out, and despite her anger, she knew that when he saw sense they would be able to work this out, so long as he didn't do anything too stupid in the meantime.

Getting to her feet, she tipped out the remainder of her drink down the kitchen sink as she stared out into the path of grass that was refered to as the communal garden. It wasn't the most child friendly, and her spare room was tiny, fine for a baby but not much past that. She shrugged, she'd have to move eventually but that was most definitely a problem for another day.

Groaning, she remembered she'd have to cleat that room out now, rinsing out her cup and placing it on the draining board she decided she may as well get started and start sifting through the junk in there. After all it wasn't going to do itself and she may as well fix everything she could fix just now, because she got the feeling control was going to be a thing of the past.


	11. Chapter 11

"One more for the road?" Robbie slurred to Stuart, already in the process of trying to catch the barmaid's attention.

"You said that three drinks ago," the younger man retorted, raising an exasperated eyebrow as Robbie threw back the remainder of his pint.

"Hey you've been the one complaining that we never go drinking anymore, and now we're out you want to go home? Ungrateful sod."

"So take it from the drinking binge that love's dream is well and truly over…again."

Robbie ignored him, focussing his glare on the empty bottle in front of him, he was trying to forget everything that was going on and Stuart's teasing was not conductive to that. Stuart merely smirked at his silence, taking that as confirmation and then nodding across the bar told him, "Well look on the bright side, it looks like you might be about to pull."

He raised his eyes at that, meeting the blue eyes of the blonde seated across from them. She was slim, lips set in a pout and definitely not a day over thirty five, she was his perfect type, and yet he didn't feel that spark of excitement in the pitt of stomach, the one he normally got when he realised that an attractive young woman wanted him. Still he felt like he should at least try, this was his life, this was what he did and what he was good at and so he got to his feet, heading over to where she was sitting.

He bought her a drink and listened to what she had to say as her hand stroked up and over his thigh. They moved to one of the sofas and she leaned further and further into his side, her mouth moving to his neck. Robbie shut his eyes, trying to get into it and yet all he could think about was how she wasn't Jackie, how he should be with her right now.

His eyes flickered open again, meeting drunken lust filled blue and he knew instantly that this was a mistake, that he'd come to regret this if he let it go any further. "I have to go," he told Tracy, detangling himself from her embrace and ignoring her look of horrified shock.

"Excuse me?" she echoed, her eyes widening in anger and humiliation as Robbie stumbled away without looking back.

The cold air outside was sobering and his head hurt as he took in a few deep, gasping breaths. He heard the pub door creak open behind him and he prayed to God she hadn't chased after him, looking for an explanation that he couldn't give. She hadn't; it was worse than that, it was Stuart.

"What was that?" Stuart asked, looking at him in bewilderment.

"Just changed my mind," Robbie replied, trying to keep his tone casual.

The younger man laughed, "You never change your mind about women, at least not before you sleep with them."

"Would you just drop it!" Robbie snapped angrily. "I don't want to hear it."

His eyes widened and he looked at Robbie in a mixture of hurt and annoyance. "I'm only trying to make a joke, you know lighten the mood."

"Well don't!" Robbie whirled round to face him and on seeing the shock on Stuart's face felt instantly ashamed of himself. He shook his head. "Think I should just go home."

Stuart rocked on the balls of his feet for a moment before deciding he had nothing to lose and chasing after him yelled, "Robbie! Wait."

The older man turned, sighing tiredly, "What?"

Swallowing heavily, Stuart took in a nervous breath before telling him, "Look I know you probably don't want to hear this but the past month you've seemed pretty happy, you've not turned up hung-over although you still don't seem to have figured out how an alarm clock works," he tried to quip and on getting on response continued, "My point being that if she made you that happy and the fact that it's over has made you this miserable, can't you figure your way around whatever caused the problem?"

Robbie gave a wry smile at that. "Believe me I wish it was that simple. I get you're trying to be helpful, but believe me Stuart you don't want to get stuck in the middle of this." He turned again, staggering drunkenly down the road, his words slurring slightly as he called back over his shoulder, "I'll see you at work tomorrow."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He decided to walk home, enjoying the peace and quiet while breathing in the still frigid air. Letting himself into his flat, he threw his keys on the coffee table and headed straight for the cupboard, pulling out a bottle of scotch and drinking straight from the bottle, letting the liquid burn it's trail down his throat.

He turned, heading for the sofa and dropping onto it, frowning and shifting when he felt a soft lump dig into the small of his back. Grabbing hold of it, he yanked it out, his face draining of all colour when he saw it was Jackie's scarf, the thin light blue material fanning across his fingers. Even from here he could smell her perfume off it.

His eyes closing he remembered the last time she wore it, could remember unwinding it from her, baring the pale skin of her neck, his mouth moving to trail up the warm skin he'd exposed. At that he had to stop himself, his fist clenching around the material as he tried to block out the rest of the memories.

It was no use though, he felt as though he'd opened the floodgates and so he took another mouthful of scotch, determined to forget.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When he woke up the next morning his mouth was bone dry and he felt like he'd licked the carpet. He shifted and realised with dismay that Jackie's scarf was still in his hand and that the ultrasound photo was resting face up on the floor. He'd obviously dug that out at some point last night, although he couldn't remember what his reasoning had been, something he was quite grateful for.

Keeping his eyes averted from the image, because he really couldn't handle looking at it, he picked it up and shoved it into a drawer. He shut it with a thud which caused him to wince painfully as it aggravated the pain in his head. Scrubbing his hand across his unshaven jaw, he looked almost guiltily at the drawer one more time before turning on his heel and headed for the shower.

* * *

><p>Tapping her pen off her desk, Jackie tried not to stare at Robbie's empty seat but couldn't seem to stop her eyes from drifting over to look at it. She hadn't seen him since she'd walked away from him at the hospital, and she hadn't heard from him either and both facts just served to worry her all the more.<p>

Finally when she could take no more, she looked over to where Stuart was looking through bank statements relating to their victim. "No sign of Robbie?" she asked casually.

"Not yet," he replied, shaking his head. "And to be honest from the amount of alcohol he put away when we were out last night I wouldn't expect him to be of any real use to us today."

"That bad."

"Yup, think he broke up with the girl he'd been seeing and it seems to have hit him pretty hard."

"Really?"

"Yeah." He looked up and added, "He even turned down a young blonde that was trying to chat him up."

"He did?" Jackie echoed almost hopefully.

Stuart nodded. "Looked like he decided going home and no doubt drinking himself into oblivion was a better decision."

"Oh." She didn't know what to do with that information, because she knew Robbie and she knew that's what he did when things got too much for him, he tried to drink his troubles away. But at least that problem could be fixed, if he'd taken that blonde home with him she knew she wouldn't be able to just forgive and forget.

"Jackie, you wanted a word," Burke's voice broke through the conversation as he strolled towards his office, having just returned from a meeting on the top corridor.

Jackie nodded, getting to her feet, she followed him into the office. He made a tutting noise as he glanced over his shoulder. "Still no Robbie?"

"Not yet," she admitted quietly, knowing she couldn't cover for him this time.

He sighed, muttering, "Can we not just go one year without him going off the rails? Shoots himself in the foot."

Jackie mumbled non-committedly at that, in one way she was inclined to agree, Robbie was a good officer and a good man, but if he cut himself some slack he could be even better. Instead he just seemed to decide that he was already destined to repeat the same mistakes, so why bother.

Burke looked over his DS tiredly, she looked distracted which was definitely unusual but then she'd been slightly under the weather recently, only just seemed to be coming out the other end and getting back to her usual self. "So what can I do for you, Jackie?" He finally asked.

She jumped slightly, having gotten lost in her own thoughts and forgetting why she was even there. "I have some news that I think you need to know."

He nodded, only half paying attention as he flicked through the files sitting on his desk. "What's that?"

"I'm pregnant."

His movements stalled and he blinked a few times before looking up at her in shock, his look of surprise probably on par with one she would have gotten if she'd walked into his office and grew an extra head. "Um…congratulations, this is unexpected." He stared at her, very obviously out of his depth and floundering to find the right words to say at this news. "So when are you due?"

"Beginning of September."

"Right," he nodded, his gaze falling momentarily to her stomach before he got out, "I didn't know you were seeing someone, you'll need to introduce us to him, we'll need to pass on our congratulations and give him the once over." He attempted a light smile.

Jackie tried to smile in return. "It's a bit complicated at the moment."

"Ah." He leaned back in his chair. "Well congratulations all the same."

Her smile returned at that, her hand brushing her stomach. "Thank you…just I was hoping that for the time being we could keep this between us, I don't want it all over the station just yet."

"Fair enough," he replied. "But just so long as you realised that this will put restrictions on your duties."

"I didn't expect anything else," she grinned wryly. "But I wanted to stay on the safe side with this."

"Understandable."

"Well I suppose I should get back to work," Jackie muttered. "Can't stand around here all day."

Burke nodded and watched as she left his office, as the door fell shut he shook his head, eyes wide, just when he thought his officers couldn't surprise them anymore they somehow managed it. He shook his head, God only knew what the next revelation would be.

* * *

><p>She watched out of the corner of her eye as Robbie got to his feet and left the office. After a few seconds, when the coast was clear she got to her feet and followed him, unsure as to whether or not this was a good idea. But she couldn't just let him go, she had to speak to him, when he'd came in this morning she'd been slightly shocked by how awful he actually looked. His hair was ruffled, jaw unshaven, skin sallow and his eyes red rimmed and bloodshot. She couldn't just leave it alone, even if it proved to be a fatal mistake.<p>

Pushing the door the fire door that led onto the roof open, she stepped out into the cold mid March breeze, and seeing him standing by the stone wall, called out his name. "Robbie."

He heard his name and turned, and despite not wanting to feel anything, when he looked at her, with her dark hair whipping around her face, he wanted nothing more than to hold her close to him. Instead he forced that feeling down and frowned at her. "What is it?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"What about?"

She gave a low sigh of annoyance. "About world politics…oh come on Robbie what do you think I want to talk to you about? I want to talk about us, about the baby."

"There isn't anything to say."

"Do you honestly think that going out on the piss is going to make you feel better?"

"It might," he returned sullenly.

She rolled her eyes. "I know about the blonde, Stuart told me."

His shoulders tensed. "Nothing happened," he told her edgily.

"I know, Stuart told me that as well."

"Traitor."

"He's worried about you."

"He should be more worried about himself and what I'm going to do to him when I get my hands on him," Robbie growled.

"Very mature," Jackie muttered. "And believe me," she told him firmly. "I wouldn't be standing here now if I thought something had happened between you and her, some things are just a step too far." She stepped closer to him. "I want you to talk to me," she told him. "I want us to work through this, because I think we can."

"It's better this way," came the stubborn reply.

"What! It's better for me to go through this alone while you drink yourself into an oblivion. It's better for our baby to grow up without their dad, while you watch them grow up from a distance. Because that's what you'll be doing, Robbie, we work together so ignoring this completely just isn't an option, unless of course you're planning to transfer. Have you thought any of this through at all?" she asked incredulously.

His hand went to his aching forehead. "Stop it," he mumbled.

Again she stepped closer to him her eyes meeting his as she slowly looped her arms around his shoulders, leaning forward she kissed him gently, tenderly. "I know you think this is unfixable but I promise you we can make this work, all I need is for you to give it a chance."

His hand stroked her cheek and his voice cracked slightly as he told her again, "I can't, I'll be no good at this, Jacks."

She sighed and stepped back, telling him, "I might be willing to give you time to get your head around this Robbie but even I won't wait forever." Pausing at the door, she looked back over at him again and told him, "The Boss knows about the baby, not about us, but you have to realise that this won't go away Robbie."

With that said, he watched her go, his head thumping as he mulled over her words.


	12. Chapter 12

Despite Jackie's words, Robbie continued to try and drink himself into oblivion, determined to numb the confusion he felt with drink. He could feel himself falling apart at the seams, he was making mistakes at work and he could sense that Burke was becoming more and more agitated at his behaviour but he just couldn't seem to get his head around any of what was happening.

Normally when he needed advice he'd turn to Jackie but that simply wasn't an option. He missed her more than he could put into words and quite often found himself wanting to call her in the middle of the night, or simply watching her at work, because he felt too ashamed of himself to even go talk to her. So instead he stuck to trying to find solace in the bottom of a bottle.

Tonight he couldn't even seem to do that though, the thought of drinking right now made him feel sick to his stomach. So instead he lay on his sofa, watching the sports highlights for the day, trying to keep his mind focussed solely on the TV.

He groaned when he heard the phone ring shrilly, and he lumbered awkwardly to his feet, lunging for the receiver. "Hello."

There was a crackling sound on the other end of the line before a familiar voice exclaimed happily, "Dad! It's me."

"Jamie!" For the first time in just over three weeks, Robbie smiled. "How are you?"

"Good, wanted to say thanks for my birthday present."

"I sent that weeks ago," he pointed out in reply, chuckling under his breath.

"Well yeah, but I've been busy." He could picture Jamie grinning as he spoke.

"Too busy to phone your old Dad," he tutted jokingly.

"I'm doing it now. So how you been? How's work?"

"It's alright," he replied cagily. "More interested in hearing what you have to say though. How's school?"

"Fine, had a go at ice hockey the other day, still prefer footie though."

"Been introducing your mates to the good old game?"

He laughed. "They do have that over here you know Dad, they just call it soccer."

Robbie snorted, "It's not the same." In the background he could hear Gaby's voice, and then heard Jamie's voice muffle as he turned away to answer.

"Dad I have to go, we're meant to be having dinner at Aunt Carol's, but I'll phone again soon ok?"

Trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice, Robbie replied, "No it's fine, off you go, have fun."

"It's dinner at Aunt Carol's," Jamie repeated blandly.

Chuckling, Robbie told him seriously, "Miss you Jamie."

"Yeah?" His voice was hopeful. "Miss you too Dad."

"Remember you can come visit whenever you want," he added. "Spare room's just sitting."

"You'd need to pay for my plane ticket," Jamie returned cheekily.

"I suppose I could manage that."

"Could come across in the summer at some point-" Gaby's muffled voice cut across the conversation again and Jamie continued, "I really do need to go, bye Dad,"

"Bye." Robbie grimaced when he was faced with the dial tone. Hanging up, he stared at the photo he had of Jamie blowing out his candles on his fifth birthday, his face split in a toothy grin where his front tooth was missing.

He missed Jamie, more than he thought he could ever possibly describe and if he'd thought it would have made a difference he would have done anything to convince Gaby to stay, but her mind had been made up and so he'd had to wave Jamie goodbye.

Unthinkingly, he reached for the small drawer and pulling it open pulled out the ultrasound photo. He wasn't a good Dad to Jamie, but his son still loved him, still kept in touch as much as a teenage boy could be expected to. And they did have a few good memories together, memories that he wouldn't swap for the world.

He frowned, fingers tracing over the outline of the baby. So why was he so determined to stay out of this baby's life? He still wasn't convinced he'd be any good at this, was still convinced that his failings would destroy him and Jackie, but then he was doing that right now. She was offering him a chance and he seemed to be doing his best to throw it back into her face, he didn't want to lose her but he wasn't sure he wanted to sit waiting on the inevitable end to their relationship either, didn't think he could cope with that. He did miss her though, more than he ever thought possible.

Running a hand through his hair he decided he had to see her, couldn't just sit here like this. He wanted to believe what she'd told him, that they'd make it work, that he could be a good Dad. After all she'd been right about one thing, he hadn't thought it through, hadn't thought through what it would be like once she'd had the baby and he wasn't involved, hadn't thought through the possibility that she'd meet someone else and their baby would think of them as Dad, or as close to it as they'd get because he'd turned his back.

He shook his head, he couldn't let this lie, he might still be unsure, might still think he'd fuck it all up but he owed it to both Jackie and the baby, owed it to himself even to at least try. So grabbing his coat, he made for the door.

* * *

><p>Jackie punched her pillow, shifting from her side onto her back as she attempted to get comfortable and failed, a common occurrence recently. Her hand curved around her bump, which was plainly obvious now, so much so that she knew that she wasn't really fooling anyone at work, even Stuart was hinting that maybe there was something she wanted to tell him.<p>

Although she hadn't even told her family yet, couldn't face the interrogation she'd no doubt be put through until she knew what exactly was happening, whether Robbie was ever going to scrape himself off the ceiling or not. She felt a small knock against her hand and smiled, she'd realised that the baby was moving around about a week ago now, having spent the week before that wondering what the hell was going on with her stomach. And now that she knew what it was she felt as though they never stayed at peace, they always seemed to be awake and wriggling around.

She felt slightly comforted by the movement however and her eyes finally started to drift shut and she was almost asleep when she heard a key turn in her front door before it creaked slowly open. Eyes snapping open, she sat up, frowning as she heard heavy footfall on her hall carpet.

The bedroom door creaked open and even in the faded light of the room she could make out Robbie standing in the doorway. "I forgot you still had that key," she commented after a few moments of silence that seemed to endlessly stretch on .

"I needed to talk to you."

She nodded hesitantly before patting the space on the bed next to her. "I'm warm and semi comfortable for a change, so you'll need to come over here," she told him lightly.

He moved over to her, kicking off his shoes and throwing his jacket over the armchair in the corner of her room before sitting on the bed, swinging his legs up after him. His eyes scanned over her and without the loose clothing she'd been wearing the past few weeks at work hindering his view he could see how much she'd grown in such a short space of time. "How are you?" he asked finally.

"Fine," she replied calmly. "I have my twenty week scan next week but apart from that nothing's really changed." When he simply nodded at that, she sighed and asked tiredly, "Robbie, why are you here?"

"Jamie called me tonight." He shrugged. "It just made me realise that I might have screwed up a lot with him but at least I tried." His hand slowly reached out and he entwined his fingers with hers, feeling his shoulders relax and some of the tension that he'd been carrying around for weeks now ebb out of his body when she didn't pull away. "That…and I miss you, Jacks," he admitted quietly. "You're the one person I can always talk to and not having you there's been like torture."

She squeezed his hand. "I know what you mean, apart from Stuart you're one of my best friends, feel I can talk to you about anything." Giving a wry laugh she confided, "Don't really feel I can talk to Stuart about this, I just wanted you."

He wrapped his other arm around her, hand splaying across her stomach, touching her bump for the first time since he'd found out she was pregnant. "I'm so sorry," he told her sincerely. "I freaked out and it was wrong to just walk away and leave you to deal with all of this on your own. I just…I didn't see how it could work, just saw me screwing up over and over again and you hating me for it."

She curled slightly closer into him, telling him, "Robbie, I don't have a clue about kids, at least you're going to have an idea about what not to do, if anything you have the edge over me," she joked lightly.

"Doesn't feel like that, I can just see you throwing yourself into this and me fucking it up."

"We're both going to make mistakes," she told him.

"I just didn't want to be a crap Dad again," he admitted.

"So you decided not trying was the answer?"

"Thought in the long run I'd be doing you a favour."

She gave an inelegant snort. "It's times like these that I'm actually glad that I don't always follow your thought process." Tilting her head, she looked at him hopefully, "So what do you think now?"

"I think that I made a mistake and don't get me wrong this whole thing still terrifies the living daylights out of me, but I want to take you up on your offer of us working through this together…if that's still on the table."

Jackie smiled softly, this one lighting up her eyes. "Of course it is. We'll figure all of this out together, promise."

Robbie kissed her check. "Good." He jumped slightly when he felt her stomach move very slightly underneath his fingertips. "Was that him?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yes," she smiled. "But it could always be a her."

He ignored that comment and asked instead, "Do they do that a lot?"

She nodded. "Barely stopped over the last week, I don't think they sleep at all," she laughed.

"Night owl like his Mum and Dad."

"Oh there's something to look forward to," she commented dryly in return, her head leaning agaisnt his shoulder.

Robbie laughed, although his eyes were already closing as with Jackie back in his arms sleep came easily to him for the first time in almost four weeks.

* * *

><p>When Jackie was woken up the next morning by her alarm, she realised quite quickly that she could smell toast. Sitting upright, she smiled widely when only seconds later Robbie appeared in her doorway balancing a tray with careful ease. "Brought you breakfast in bed," he told her. "Celebrate our new start."<p>

He lowered himself carefully onto the bed, passing her the glass of orange juice before placing the tray onto the duvet. She took a slice of the buttery toast and before taking a bite remarked, "You know that this will be our third."

"Ah but third time's the charm," he grinned.

She sank back onto her pillows, alternating between eating her toast and sipping her orange juice before telling him, "You know I'll come to expect this every morning from now on."

Robbie laughed. "Had worse jobs."

"Speaking of jobs, are you going to be on time today?"

He nodded, expression becoming sombre at her words. "Yeah, got a lot of making up and proving myself to do again," he remarked.

"Don't beat yourself up too much," she replied, squeezing his hand. "Just don't do it again."

"Won't," he assured her. "Got too much to lose now." He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "Anyway if I'm going to be on time then I better get back to the flat and get washed and changed."

"Did you bring your car?"

"Uh huh."

"Then just get ready here, you've got a suit and a few shirts and ties, save yourself some time and stress."

"You don't mind?"

"As long as you're out the shower by the time I've finished eating you can do what you like," she joked.

He laughed as he got to his feet, pausing at the door to remark almost reluctantly, "So we'll need to tell the Boss the whole story then?"

Jackie nodded. "Eventually, but I think we can wait a little while longer, let things settle a bit before we give the gossips something to talk about."

Robbie smiled at that answer, he liked that idea, sometime to themselves while they wrapped their heads around it and he made up for his behaviour over the past few weeks.

* * *

><p>Walking to the street where they'd had to park the car, Robbie dug his hands into his pockets, pretending to listen to Stuart talk as his eyes fixated on the play park across the road. He swallowed heavily as he watched the hoard of screaming kids running around manically. He saw one little girl who couldn't have been more than three trip and fall, saw her run into her Dad's arms, sobbing; her hand clutching her knee.<p>

Looking away, he blinked rapidly, it was at times like these when he thought ahead, past the pregnancy itself that he found himself filled with that all consuming terror again. All that responsibility and if you got it wrong that was it, you couldn't go back and change anything.

He gave a small shake of his head, he had to stop thinking like this, if there was anyone he could come out of the other side of this with it was Jackie. The past few weeks without her had been torture and he didn't want to repeat them, wouldn't repeat them, which meant getting on with all of this and trying his hardest to actually be good at it.

"Are you even listening to me?" Stuart asked indignantly, his hand shaking Robbie's shoulder.

"Hmmm?" Robbie turned, looking at him questionably. "Why was it important?"

Stuart gave an irritated sigh. "I just asked if you'd spoken to Jackie recently."

"About anything in particular?" he asked in return, his heart already starting to race as he began to wonder where this line of questioning was headed.

"Well about her…you know…change in shape," Stuart muttered awkwardly.

Robbie couldn't help but laugh at that. "You know it's a good thing you bat for the other team because if you said stuff like that to a woman they'd bludgeon you to death."

"Oh come on!" he exclaimed. "You can't tell me you haven't noticed, you spend enough of the day with her and everyone knows that you study the figure of every woman around you in great depth."

"Got to do something to pass the time," he smirked knowing that he knew Jackie's figure in much greater detail than Stuart realised, although it was definitely a subject worth a more in depth study.

"So you must have noticed."

He shrugged. "Still don't see why we're discussing this."

"I was just wondering if she'd mentioned anything to you, about I dunno a new man in her life maybe."

Robbie shook his head, answering honestly, "She's not mentioned anyone new to me."

He pulled a face. "Sorry forgot that you haven't really been talking to anyone recently, so you probably don't know as much as you normally would about her life." Robbie suppressed a smirk at that statement. His head tilted thoughtfully before he suddenly asked, "You know you've been in a better mood today, did you…you know sort things out with well whoever she is."

"It's getting there," Robbie mumbled almost cagily.

"Good." Stuart grinned at him. "Well hope it works out this time."

Giving a distracted nod, Robbie looked over his shoulder back towards the play park and tried to picture himself in the role of doting Dad, there for his kid whenever they needed him. And despite wanting so badly to succeed at this, he still couldn't see it.


	13. Chapter 13

"Stuart was asking me if you'd mentioned anything about a new man in your life," Robbie remarked to Jackie later that night.

Without even looking up from where she was cutting up fruit and veg to put in some strange type of salad concoction she was craving, Jackie asked, "What did you tell him?"

"Just that you hadn't mentioned anyone new."

She paused and looked over at him. "I do feel a bit guilty," she admitted. "I mean he's been so worried about the both of us recently and we're hiding this massive piece of news from him."

"To be fair we're hiding it from Burke as well," Robbie pointed out.

"That's different, he'll kill us and at least he knows I'm pregnant, Stuart only suspects, I just don't want him to feel hurt or left out."

Robbie frowned as he watched Jackie drench her salad in yoghurt. "I'm sure he'll realise why we wanted to keep it quiet to begin with, and if it helps then we can always tell him first." He nodded his head towards her bowl. "Are you really going to eat that? I get the yoghurt over the fruit but that's not all you put in there."

She shrugged and shot him a smile. "It tastes good to me."

"I think I'll do the cooking in here from now on."

"I'm not going to complain about that," Jackie laughed. She held the spoon up to him and asked teasingly, "You sure you don't want to try it?"

Ducking out of the way of her, he replied, "Positive, looks worse than your brown and tomato sauce combination."

Leaning back against the counter, her eyes twinkling, she told him, "Suit yourself." Swallowing a mouthful, she then asked, "You feeling any better about this?" Glancing down at her bump to signify what she meant.

He gave a small smile. "Honestly it's all still pretty scary, but then this is the easy part of it-"

She snorted, "Yeah for you maybe,"

Moving over so he was leaning on the counter next to her, he replied, "You know what I mean, this is the bit where nothing's really changed, but in four and a half months we're going to be completely responsible for this tiny person and that's-"

"Terrifying," she supplied.

Despite the serious note to the conversation, Robbie chuckled. "Yeah, that."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "You think I don't think that as well?"

He shrugged. "You always look as though you're just taking it in your stride."

"Ah but appearances can be deceptive," she pointed out. "To be honest I'd got to the stage where I'd kind of accepted the fact I wouldn't have kids, I'd just be Aunt Jackie for the rest of my life."

"And now?"

"Now, I'm still scared but I already love this baby so I'll figure it out, and I think you've already proved that running around in an aimless panic doesn't help anyone."

Robbie smiled wryly. "I'll give you that."

"And it does help that I feel amazing."

"You look good as well," he told her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

"I look like a blimp," she replied evenly.

"No you don't, you're glowing and Christ your breasts look amazing."

Jackie slapped his shoulder although she was trying to smother a laugh as she did so. "You pervert!"

"What! I'm giving you a compliment," he insisted. "Although I'd probably need to see them close up to give a thorough well considered opinion."

"Well you can dream on," she told him, shaking her head in amused resignation.

His expression became serious for a moment as he tilted her chin so that she was looking at him and replied, "I know I've got a lot of making up to do, I know I put you through Hell and that was wrong of me but I'm here now."

"I know that," she answered quietly. "But…you've ran for the hills twice already and I don't think I can forgive you if you do it again."

"Jacks, I admit I'm still shit scared about pretty much all of this, but I love you and as sad and desperate as it sounds I can't cope without you in my life. So I'm not walking away this time, and if I'm useless at it then you're just going to have to kick me out."

She smiled softly, reaching up and caressing his jaw. "I won't be doing that," she assured him quietly.

This time his smile reached his eyes, and placing the bowl she held on the counter, he pulled her into a tight embrace, kissing her forehead and then her mouth, kissing her tenderly. Her smile widened against his lips, and as he pulled away by only a few millimetres, he let his hand drift slowly down to her bump, caressing it gently. "I'll do whatever it takes to make the two of you happy, I promise you that."

His hand jerked slightly when he felt as though someone had flicked it. "Forgot how freaky that was," he commented.

She laughed under her breath. "Their kicks are getting harder every day, started off it was just like butterflies in my stomach, now it's like someone tapping my insides." Her hand folded over his. "They seem to like you talking, always starts moving more when you start rambling on."

His eyes lit up slightly at her words. "Really?" he asked hopefully.

"Uh huh." She pressed his hand against her stomach. "Try it, say something." He looked confused for a moment, his mouth opening and then closing again as he tried to come up with something. Jackie laughed again. "Anything."

"I don't know what to say," he told her. "Feel it should be something meaning-" He stopped garbling when there was another flexing motion against his hand, he gave a carefree laugh, for once so absorbed in the present that he wasn't thinking about the terror of the future.

Jackie let her eyes scan over his face in that moment, when all his attention was focussed solely on the baby as he prodded her bump gently, she could still tell he was petrified but he had at least accepted this and he was starting to become more involved in the pregnancy, which as far as she was concerned were all good signs.

* * *

><p>Pushing her hands into the small of her back, Jackie gave a small stretch, grumbling under her breath as she did so, the baby had just shifted again and she wasn't feeling particularly comfortable.<p>

"You alright?" Burke asked quietly as he leaned past her, grabbing a mug off the kitchen counter.

Nodding, she shot him a small smile. "Fine, just takes some getting used to," she replied easily.

"I'll bet, and everything's going well?"

"It is," she confirmed and he noticed how her smile widened as she'd answered.

"Good," he nodded firmly. "You get anything off the CCTV tapes?"

"Nothing yet."

"You happy to keep going with them?"

"You going to give me a more interesting job if I say no?" she replied easily.

He laughed gruffly. "No," he answered, shaking his head, "I'm not."

"Ah well then, may as well get on with it," she shrugged as she headed back into the main area of the office.

Stuart looked up from his computer as she approached her desk. "Coffee?" he asked, nodding towards the mug clasped in her hand.

"No, tea."

"Not seen you with coffee for a while now," he continued artlessly. "You went off it?"

Jackie struggled not to smile - a task made all the more difficult when she saw Robbie sniggering behind his pc screen - she shook her head. "Just fancied a change, that's all."

His shoulders slumped, an annoyed frown fluttering across his face before he decided to try another tack. "Pub tonight?"

Again she shook her head. "Can't I have plans."

"Hot date?"

"What is this, twenty questions?" she asked lightly.

"Just wondered," Stuart replied innocently.

Sensing that the younger man was in no way about to let his hunch go, Robbie got up from his desk and tapped his shoulder. "Come on, we've got to go and speak to Mr McAvoy, better get a move on."

Grumbling, Stuart got to his feet and preceded him out the door. Looking over his shoulder, Robbie shot Jackie a boyish grin and knowing no-one was looking, a wink. She rolled her eyes at him, smothering a laugh as before turning back to the task at hand, even if it was a mind-numbingly boring one.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Shifting in her seat again, Jackie rubbed at her back again as she tried to pay attention to the CCTV video she was in the process of watching. The baby was unbelievably active today, in fact she was almost one hundred percent sure that they were somersaulting in there.

Sighing, she hit the pause button and got to her feet, deciding to try and walk off her discomfort. She thought about grabbing her coat and heading to her usual spot on the roof but at the last minute changed her mind and decided to head to the back entrance, a detour that took her past the custody desk.

She wasn't entirely sure what happened next, she'd been walking past a prisoner getting booked in and everything had been perfectly fine. She heard the custody sergeant mutter something and the man in question letting out an annoyed roar as he lunged across the desk in an attempt to throttle him.

The area erupted into chaos and at some point she was knocked off her feet, falling backwards, her back colliding painfully with the desk. Letting out a low moan, she sank down, her vision blacking around the edges at the intense pain, her hand instinctively going to her stomach, covering it.

"Jackie are ok?" she heard Sandra, one of the PC's ask her, crouching down next to her, as a couple of the other officers dragged their reluctant guest into the cells.

She blinked open eyes that she didn't even realise she'd shut. She gave a brief nod, replying breathlessly "I just banged my back." Trying to get to her feet, a rush of pain travelled across her back and she moaned, her legs buckling slightly.

The other PC, Harry, steadied her. Taking in her pale face and drawn together lips, he suggested quietly, "I think you should get checked out by the police doc."

"Yeah," she got out after a moment. "Think so." The two PC's shared a look as they took in the fact she still had one shaky hand resting on her stomach.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Burke blustered into the room, where Jackie was sitting up on the examination table. "What happened?" he asked.

"I felt uncomfortable, so I decided to stretch my legs, I cut past the custody desk and he just kicked off." She took in a somewhat shaky breath. "Someone knocked into me and I slammed my back against the desk."

"Which is where I come in," a male voice supplied from the doorway, closing the door behind him as he stepped into the small room. He shot them a small smile, "Dr John Samson." Now lets have a look.

Burke shuffled awkwardly on his feet. "I'll just wait outside," he told them after a moments pause, making a swift exit for the door.

Lifting up the back of her top gently, John winced on her behalf. "You're going to have quite a colourful back, you've started to bruise already. Now I need you to tell me where it hurts most." He felt his way down her spine and across the muscles in her back, taking note of when she winced. "Well the good news is that you've not got any pain in the bony prominences so it's just the muscles you've hurt and so you won't need an X-ray. Which will be a relief to you." He nodded down at her bump. "How far along are you?"

"Nineteen weeks," Jackie replied quietly, her hand still on her bump.

"Right, well in that case you'll need to stick to paracetamol only for pain relief, I'm afraid. Now have you had any cramping sensations or pains?"

"No…but the baby hasn't moved since it happened," she admitted, her voice wavering as she did so.

His head tilted at that. "It's not been very long," he supplied quietly.

Jackie shook her head. "I know but they never stop moving, that was why I got up in the first place, to try and get comfortable," Her voice cracked slightly as she continued, "I felt them just before it happened but nothing since."

"Ok." His hand hovered over her stomach. "May I?"

She nodded, willing to try anything. She felt him push at her bump, no doubt trying to aggravate the baby into moving. It didn't work and after a minute or so, he shook his head and told her calmly, "Got another trick up my sleeve." He grabbed a small torch. "Babies still in the womb often react to light." He shone the light across her stomach, moving it about slightly and still nothing happened.

Jackie felt her eyes well up as after another few seconds he drew the light away. "They could just be asleep," he tried to reassure her. "But I'll phone the hospital and get you booked in for an emergency scan just to be on the safe side." His hand on her shoulder he told her, "I'll be back in a minute."

A minute or so after he stepped out, Burke stepped back into the room, feeling awkward and unhelpful as he saw Jackie swipe away the tears that were starting. "Do you want me to call anyone for you?" he asked, his voice low.

She nodded without a moment's hesitation, brown eyes coming up to meet his as she replied, "I need you to get Robbie for me."

* * *

><p>"Arrogant prick," Robbie muttered to Stuart as they left McAvoy's posh city centre office.<p>

"Think he knows more?"

"Aye, I do, but we're not going to get to go through his papers without a warrant and he knows that, he'll be up there shredding them as we speak."

Shaking his head, Robbie dug his phone out of his jacket pocket as it began to ring shrilly, he grimaced as he looked at the caller ID. "It's the Boss."

"He won't be happy about this."

Rolling his eyes at that blatantly obvious statement, Robbie finally answered his phone almost reluctantly. "DI Ross."

"Robbie, you need to get yourself down to the Royal's maternity unit, Jackie's had a fall."

He stilled, feeling his face drain of all colour. "What…what happened?" he stuttered out.

"Suspect got a bit rowdy and in the chaos she got pushed into the custody desk, she's banged up her back but apart from that she's fine." He took in a deep breath before he told him lowly, "The doc's worried about the baby though, hasn't moved since the accident and he's tried everything he can."

"Right." Robbie ran his hand over his jaw. "Tell her I'll be there as quick as I can."

"Aye, I will."

Hanging up, Robbie felt winded. This couldn't be happening, he might not have wanted this to begin with but this was his kid, his and Jackie's, they couldn't lose it, not like this. He tried not to think about the possibility that this was some sort of twisted karmic revenge as he fumbled for his car keys. "Get in the car," he barked at Stuart.

The younger man blinked at him in confusion. "What is it?" he asked anxiously.

"Just get in the fucking car!" Robbie bellowed, not noticing the look of alarm in the DC's eyes at his behaviour.

He swung himself into the driver's seat and the engine roared noisily as he pulled quickly away.

* * *

><p>Matthew Burke had never been one for mincing his words, or hiding his opinion on something, regardless of whether or not said opinion was good or bad, but as he stepped back into the small cubicle where his DS was half lying, half sitting on the trolley, her face pale and eyes red, he forced back his opinion on her behaviour and instead told her, "I called him, he's on his way, be here as quick as he can."<p>

She gave one short sharp nod. "Thank you," she whispered before falling silent again, her hand still stroking over her stomach as she fought to remain calm; she'd never experienced terror like this before and she was struggling badly.

Burke nodded. "Not a problem." His eyes lingered on her for a moment before he realised she was back in her own world, so feeling supremely out of place and uncomfortable, he added. "Goin' to get some air, will you be ok?"

"Fine," she replied.

Lingering for a moment longer, he finally turned on his heel and left the building. He stood looking out onto the main road, listening to the cars whiz past as he thought about the possible repercussions from this. He didn't want to think about the ones that would play out if today ended tragically, knew he didn't want to see them go through that, Jackie was the strongest woman he knew but he had the feeling that this would be the thing that broke her.

So instead he focussed on how the hell he'd managed to miss the signs; if there had been any signs. He frowned, trying to think back, he remembered just before Christmas they weren't talking which he'd found unusual and irritating, because the atmosphere as a result had been toxic, but that had ended suddenly and then everything had appeared to revert back to normal.

Actually it had been better than normal, because Robbie had suddenly started behaving himself and that had been followed a month or so later by his smug 'I'm getting laid' grin and a few morning's he'd stumbled in late. But apart from the fact that she was pregnant Jackie had just been herself, in fact if he remembered rightly that had came out about that time that Robbie had went off the rails.

He shook his head, maybe he was reading too much into this, maybe Robbie had been pissed off that she had been involved with someone else - because he never looked happy when Jackie had a man in her life - and maybe she just wanted his support. At that thought he snorted, he was just indulging in wishful thinking now.

* * *

><p>"This place is like a fucking labyrinth," Robbie snapped as they made there way through the winding corridors of the Royal. "Can't believe how far away I had to park."<p>

"We're almost there," Stuart tried to assure him. "We just get the next set of lifts to ground and then turn right at the café and then-"

"Get the next set of lifts that takes us into the maternity building, I was there when we asked Stuart, I do know!"

"Sorry," he mumbled.

Robbie couldn't even feel bad for snapping at his friend, he was just too worried about all of this. They couldn't lose this baby. He had to admit that for most of the journey into the hospital he'd thought about Jackie and hoped that she was ok, when suddenly he realised that it wasn't just Jackie he wanted to come through this.

That small shadowy figure in the ultrasound picture might scare the living daylights out of him, but he realised now that he did already love him or her. He wanted to meet them and see whether they looked like him or if they looked like Jackie, wanted to see all the things he'd stupidly missed with Jamie. And if this was it, if what they heard after this scan was bad, he knew he'd never forgive himself for not being 100% supportive throughout the entire experience, and he was shit scared that she'd never forgive him for that either.

Finally they reached the last set of lifts. "Where did Burke say she was?" Stuart asked.

"Um…he text me saying she was at the Pre natal assessment unit."

"Right." They picked there floor and jumped into the lift, only to be accosted by a chattering group of visitors holding a large bunch of blue balloons. Robbie looked away, pulling in deep breaths. He had to stay calm, he'd be no use to anyone if he didn't stay calm.

* * *

><p>Jackie looked up as the curtains rustled and saw Robbie standing at the edge of the small cubicle, his face pale as he surveyed her. Her breath caught on a sob as she struggled to keep herself from breaking down.<p>

He moved forward at that, wrapping his arms around her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "They haven't moved," she whispered anxiously. "Two hours and nothing, I only went to get some air, I don't believe this is happening."

"He could just be sleeping."

"They've never stopped for this long before. I got up because they wouldn't keep at peace and I was so uncomfortable, now I just want them to move," she told him, her tone becoming increasingly desperate. "God, I'll never complain again if they just do something."

His fingers entwined with hers over her bump. Drawing back from her slightly, he tapped her stomach, saying, "You're not meant to scare your mother like this until you're a teenager, now come on kid, cut us some slack."

There was no response, and he wiped away the tear that slid down Jackie's cheek with his thumb, telling her softly, "I know you're beating yourself up over this, but none of what happened is down to you."

"If I'd only stayed where I was-"

"No," he interrupted her. "Listen to me, Jacks you haven't done anything wrong here."

Wincing slightly as she shuffled closer into his embrace, she told him, "You have no idea how glad I am that you're actually here."

"Where else would I be? You and him are the most important things to me, I want you to know that, even if I don't always show it." His fingers moved gently over her bump. "And anyway-"

They both jumped as they felt the smallest flicker of movement. Jackie's eyes widened, "Keep talking," she urged him, pressing their hands harder against her bump, anxious to reassure herself that she wasn't just imagining things.

"I was going to say that the car parking here's so crap that you'd need to worship someone just to endure it."

The next kick was stronger, and Jackie swore she could feel the baby giving a small stretch just after. She gave an almost giddy laugh. "Oh thank God," she breathed out, and ignoring the nagging pain of her bruised muscles she flung her arms around Robbie, telling him, "I told you they knew their Dad's voice."

"He already worships me," Robbie replied teasingly.

"Or wishes you'd shut up, and less of the he, because if it's a her they'll be getting a complex."

"Because they sounds so much better?" he asked.

"It's probably confusing them less."

"Can you confuse them?"

"How the hell would I know," she laughed again, feeling the stress of the last few hours start to finally melt away.

* * *

><p>Stepping out into the waiting room, Robbie spotted the more than slightly out of place figures of Stuart and Burke, standing awkwardly by the leaflet stand. Moving over he told them, "Baby started moving just before they came in with the scanner, they did the scan just to be on the safe side but apart from the fact he's already permanently grounded, everything's fine."<p>

"He?" Stuart echoed excitedly.

Robbie laughed. "Actually we don't know that for sure, I just keep using he to talk about them, think it's starting to bug Jackie though so I might have to stop."

Stuart nodded and then tilting his head to one side, asked, "So all this time it was Jackie you were seeing?"

He gave a wry grin. "Bit more complicated than that, but yeah."

Stuart's resulting grin was wide, almost splitting his face in half and telling him, "It's about time."

Burke gave a dry cough and both men turned to look at his distinctly irritated expression, with Stuart mumbling, "I think I'll go and check on Jackie."

"Yeah, she'll like that," Robbie replied, his eyes never leave those of his Boss.

Waiting until Stuart was out of earshot, Burke asked, "Wanna tell me what's been going on?"

He shrugged. "What is it you want to know?"

"When all this happened?"

Robbie shifted uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck. "Started when you sent us to that company Christmas party."

"The one you fell out after?" he clarified.

"Yeah, then things got serious for a while before Jackie realised she was pregnant."

"And you ran for the hills," Burke guessed.

"Pretty much," Robbie admitted shamefully. "Took me a few weeks to get my head around it."

"And now?"

"I won't screw it up again," he told him firmly. "Jackie might have the patience of a saint but even she won't forgive another screw up on my part."

His Boss nodded, his lips drawn into a thin line. "I'm not going to pretend I'm happy about this, but it's a bit late to stop the pair of you now. So just keep it out of the office, and if you get yourself back on track again then I'll ignore your behaviour over the last few weeks."

"Thanks Sir," Robbie shot him a relieved smile.

The older man slapped his shoulder, telling him, "Now take Jackie home and tell her I don't expect to see her until she's back on her feet."

"Yeah, better go get back to her before she and Stuart get into one of their chats."

Burke managed a small smile at that. "I think that's wise, tell him to get his arse out here or he's walking home." After a moment he added, "And congratulations, Robbie," he finally told his errant DI.

Watching as he walked back towards the cubicles, Burke shook his head, only time would really tell if this was for the best, bit if it put Robbie on the straight and narrow then it couldn't hurt.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you didn't tell me," Stuart complained, although his eyes were gleaming. "I mean you're almost five months! And no offence but you really weren't kidding anyone anymore."<p>

Jackie simply raised an eyebrow. "I could have just been getting fat."

"Yeah because that looks like your average weight gain," he snorted, nodding at her stomach.

"They can hear you, you know," she pointed out, she stroked her stomach. "Imagine calling you that," she told her bump, laughing lightly as she did so.

"So have you told Robbie to watch his language then?" Stuart laughed.

"Oi!" Robbie exclaimed from the doorway. "I'll have you know that that kid worships me already."

"Your smugness is going to get annoying pretty damn quickly."

He chuckled before telling Stuart. "If you don't move the Boss is going without you, and I'm not giving you a lift."

"Hell!" Stuart jumped to his feet, grabbing his jacket, he kissed Jackie's cheek, telling her, "Take care of yourself, I'll call you and we can talk."

"Good, I'm sure I'll be bored out of my skull on my days off."

"Some people are never happy," Robbie remarked.

Stuart looked between them, smiling as he told them, "I'll leave you both to it."

The curtains fluttered shut behind him and Robbie stepped forward, taking her hand and helping her to her feet. Jackie winced, her hand going to the small of her back. "Ow," she muttered.

"Lets have a look, he turned her, lifting the back of her top a few inches and swearing at the already purple bruising marring her pale skin. "I'll fucking kill that Son of a Bitch," he snarled, referring to the man who'd started this entire nightmare.

She squeezed his hand. "As much as I appreciate the sentiment I just want to go home and put my feet up."

"I think I can mange that request," he smiled.

Leaning slowly forward, she kissed his lips gently. "You know you really are too hard on yourself, you were amazing earlier, I couldn't have got through this without you. This baby's lucky to have you."

"Believe me I count myself as the lucky one," he told her, stroking his thumb over her cheekbone, before wrapping his arm around her shoulder and leading her out of the hospital.


	14. Chapter 14

"You need a pillow or something?" Robbie asked, eyeing Jackie nervously as she settled back into the sofa, wincing slightly as she did so.

"That would be nice," she replied, and she couldn't help smiling when he reappeared seconds later and then insisting on helping place the pillow into the small of her back himself.

He hovered over her for another second before telling her, "I'll get you a painkiller."

She caught his hand, shaking her head as she told him, "I don't want one, don't want to risk it."

"You won't be risking it, the doctor told you that you could take paracetamol, even if you just take one-"

"No and I don't care what the doctor said," she told him stubbornly, "whatever I take, the baby takes and so I'm not taking drugs of any kind."

He rubbed at his forehead in exasperation as he pointed out, "But I've seen some of the stuff you've been eating and too be honest Jacks the kid's already suffering."

Picking up the small cushion that was resting on the sofa next to her, Jackie threw it at him. "Don't make me laugh," she warned him. "Makes my back hurt."

"Sorry," he apologised immediately, sitting down gently on the sofa next to her. Wrapping his arm around her shoulder, he let her settle into his side so that she was comfortable with how they were sitting, rather than pulling her into him like he usually would.

"Don't be," she replied softly. "You did everything right today."

"Makes a change."

She nipped his thigh, causing him to wince. "Stop putting yourself down," she warned him. "I mean it, I wouldn't have gotten through today without you there." Smoothing her hands over her bump, her voice took on a serious tone. "I've never been as scared as I was today, I know this wasn't planned." She looked up at him. "But I want this baby so much now, Robbie and if anything was to happen to them-"

"Shhh," he kissed her lips, quietening her because in all honestly he didn't think he could even listen to her voice the fact that today could have cost them something that was quite frankly irreplaceable. "I know what you mean." He breathed out shakily. "At first when I heard that you'd been hurt all I could think about was you and all I wanted was for you to be ok, but then I dunno what happened, I started to see that ultrasound picture." He shot her a guilty grin. "When I was having my…"

"Nervous breakdown?" she suggested helpfully.

His breath caught on a slight laugh. "Yeah, to put it mildly. Anyway, when I was having _that, _every night I'd look at that photo until I knew every detail off by heart, every tiny feature, and then I thought about how he kicked against my hand that night and I realised that I couldn't lose him either."

Her fingers curled around his, squeezing them lightly, reminding him quietly, "You really need to stop calling them him."

He grinned. "I tell you all of that and you tell me off for saying he!"

She laughed, her hand flying to her back and he shot forward, his hands curling around her protectively. Shaking her head, Jackie pushed away his hand. "I'm fine, honest, just forgot for a minute."

"Well don't forget again," he warned her, kissing her forehead and then bringing their entwined hands to her mouth and kissing her fingers. "I meant it though, I know this is going to be difficult and I know I'm going to have to change to make it work and that I won't always get it right, but I realise now how much I want this baby, Jacks. I want us to be a family, a proper family."

Her smiled widened, her free hand stroking his cheek. "And I want you to know that we still don't need to rush this, I know that it might seem like this is all happening so quickly, but we still have time to figure out exactly how this is going to fit together."

"As long as I have you and hi- the bump," he amended quickly. "How we do it isn't quite as important." He touched her stomach lightly, his smile widening when he felt the baby move under his hand. "Now do you want anything?" he asked. "Because whatever it is I'll go and get it for you. In fact you should probably get something to eat."

She stretched her legs out slightly, giving a wince as she felt her muscles protest slightly at the movement. "Let's just get takeout."

"Chinese, Indian, Pizza, kebab?"

"Pizza," she replied quickly. "And get a stuffed crust."

"Any topping instructions?"

"Just avoid the usual stuff."

"Whatever you say." He got to his feet, and leaning forward, gave her another kiss, this time on her lips, asking, "You be ok on your own? It'll be quicker if I go out and get it."

"Stop worrying, I'll be fine," she assured him. "Oh and get some juice as well," she told him. "And a couple of sides."

His eyebrow arched. "Am I going to need a pen and paper for this list?"

"You did tell me I could have whatever I wanted," she teased.

"I still need to carry it all out to the car," he reminded her lightly, smile still firmly in place.

"Get going," she told him. "Before this baby gets so hungry it starts eating it's own foot."

He grabbed his jacket, replying, "And on that disturbing image, I'm away." Leaning over he placed her mobile on the sofa beside her. "If you need me then all you have to do is call," he told her firmly.

"I'll manage," she caught his tie as he bent over her, pulling his lips to hers for another brief kiss. "Now bloody well get going before the damn place shuts."

"I'm on it, bloody hell wummin' am I never to get any peace."

As her front door finally opened and fell shut again, Jackie gave a small laugh and winced before settling back against her pillow again and reaching for the remote she placed her hand over her stomach and starting flicking through the various channels.

* * *

><p>It was almost an hour later when Robbie stepped back into Jackie's flat, struggling slightly with the various bags as he headed for the kitchen. He quickly stuck his head round the living room door, telling Jackie, "Stay where you are, I'll bring the food through."<p>

Dumping the bags on the counter, he began shoving the items in the shopping bags into the cupboard almost haphazardly, before Jackie's familiar tone stopped him. "I hate to sound picky, but do you have to fling those in there, I'm not looking for alphabetisation but a little bit of neatness would be appreciated."

He turned, crossing his arms across his chest. "I thought I told you I'd bring the food to you."

"Sitting gets uncomfortable after a time, thought doing a little bit of walking might help."

"And is it?"

She shrugged. "It's a different kind of uncomfortable, and before you ask it isn't any worse than when I was sitting." Frowning, she peered over the back of his shoulder. "I thought you were just going to the takeout?"

"I was, but then I remembered that you have sod all in the way of food in here, I have to go to work tomorrow and I don't want you driving, so I got you everything I thought you might need."

"Aw," she stepped forward, wrapping her arm around his waist. "That's actually very thoughtful."

"Your level of surprise is almost insulting," he replied.

"So what did you bring me?"

"Well I kind of went with your cravings over the last few days, so I got you a bunch of different fruits, yogurt, lettuce, tomatoes, some of that ice cream I saw you eating the other day, pasta and fizzy water."

"Did you get malteasers to crush into the ice-cream?" she asked hopefully.

His mouth twitched as he reached into the poly bag and pulled out the bag of chocolate. "Course I did," he told her, leaning forward to kiss her, his smile widening at her sigh of delight.

"God I love you," she breathed out. "Even more so now that you've started being so attentive."

"I love you too, and I intend to be this attentive for a long, long time," he assured her.

She rubbed her hand across the forearm that was wrapped around her waist. "You've always been attentive to me, you just haven't realised it half the time. Now put the chocolate down for just now and you can bring the juice and cups through while I take the plates and the pizza."

"No," he shook his head. "I draw the line at you carrying anything. Go and sit down, I'll deal with this."

She tried to protest. "Robbie-"

"I mean it Jacks, I can't force you to take the painkillers but I'm not letting you carry stuff, it wasn't good for you before you hurt your back, it sure as hell isn't good for you now."

"It's a pizza box," she pointed out calmly.

"No, go through. In fact you can even pick the film for tonight, whatever you want, even if it's some soppy romantic comedy."

"I love how you think you're making a concession when we both know I was picking what we were watching tonight anyway," she replied, although she was already heading for the door.

When he walked back into the living room, she was sitting on the sofa again, shifting as she tried to get comfortable. "I hate to be a pest but could you stick the DVD in, I can't quite bend to get to it."

"Not a problem," he assured her, resting the pizza box on her coffee table.

Jackie winced at the sight of the greasy box resting on the bare wood. Robbie looked up just in time to see the expression on her face. "What?" he asked in concern.

She shook her head. "Nothing," she insisted.

"No, I saw your face now what is it?"

"You've been so amazing that I don't want to sound like I'm complaining…"

"But," he prompted, half laughing now.

"That box is going to mark the wood," she finally told him.

He glanced down at where she was gesturing to, and swiftly picked up the offending item, ignoring her puzzled look as he left the room with it and then returned a few moments later with a towel, which he laid deftly across the wood before glancing back over at her. "Better?" he asked innocently.

She smiled at him. "Much." Patting the seat next to her, she told him, "now come sit, the film's about to start."

"Give me a minute, I'll put the pizza on a plate for you so you don't have to lean forward and strain yourself. How many bit's you wanting?"

"Three…actually maybe four," she amended herself quickly.

Finally he sat down next to her. "Happy?" he asked.

"Yes, although I'd like it even more if you'd relax." She squeezed his knee in a soothing gesture. "I'm fine and the baby's fine, so you can sit back and enjoy this time, ok?"

"If you insist," he replied, laughing lightly, although his attention stayed on her rather than on the film they were supposed to be watching.

Halfway through the film, Jackie moved so that she was lying lengthwise, her legs across Robbie's knees. He absentmindedly ran his hand up over her calf, pausing when he felt the tension radiating from it. "You're all knotted up," he remarked.

"I know," she replied. "Think it's the way I've been walking."

He ran his fingers over the muscles, kneading them gently. "Better?"

She gave a groan of approval. "Much."

"So when this twenty week scan? We didn't really get to see much today."

"Three days." She tilted her head thoughtfully before asking, "Do you want to find out about the sex?"

"Of the baby."

She grinned at him. "Yes of the baby, so you know whether or not you can actually keep calling them him."

"Do you want to know?"

"A bit," she admitted. "But the other part of me wants it to be a surprise, I think that's part of it. I want it to be a joint decision though, either way."

He shrugged. "I don't need to know, didn't know for Jamie" he told her. "Anyway I'm not desperate for one or the other, just want them healthy."

Her smile widened. "So a surprise then?"

He nodded. "I think that's the best…nicest idea."

"Agreed," she replied, letting her head fall back against the pillow again. Robbie suppressed a smile as she yawned and gave a small stretch, her eyes slowly but steadily fluttering shut.

By the time the film had finished she was fast asleep, features settled into a light frown. He lifted her legs off himself, getting to his feet and she didn't so much as stir at the interruption. Looking at her thoughtfully, he knew that she couldn't sleep there with her back the way it was. So leaning forward he picked up her arms and loped them around his neck, hands shifting under her thighs as he lifted her up, one hand moving to steady against her upper back.

This time she did give a vague mumble of protest, but she quickly settled, her head resting against his shoulder. He carried her carefully into her bedroom, laying her gently down onto the bed, at which point her eyes opened and frowning she shifted and then winced. "Can't sleep in my clothes," she muttered, trying to sit forward.

He helped her sit up and reached for an over-sized t-shirt that was lying on the bed. Her fingers fumbled with the hem of her top, eyes half closed with tiredness, the events of the day catching up with her. Robbie helped her and he couldn't help but let his eyes skim down her ever-changing figure, letting his hand brush against her bared bump, smiling when he felt the baby shift. Pulling the t-shirt over her head, and shifting the remainder of her clothes off the bed even though he knew she'd bemoan all the creases in her clothing in the morning.

Laying her gently back onto the bed, he stripped to his boxers and slipped into the bed beside her, his smile widening when she rolled into his side, her arm thrown across his chest. Sleep came quickly with her next to him and he felt that now familiar feeling of calm and contentedness wash over him again.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you two never told me," Stuart lamented to Robbie the next morning as they drove out to question yet another suspect.<p>

Robbie merely rolled his eyes. "It's not exactly something you just drop into conversation."

He gave a derisive snort. "You drop your sex life into conversation whenever you can manage it."

"Not this time," came the short reply.

The younger man grinned. "Aw…it's serious."

"We're having a baby, can't get anymore serious than that."

"Yeah…but that can be, and let's face it probably was an accident of fate, the way you're acting says a lot more about the way you feel," he told him knowledgably.

Robbie glared over at him. "You're starting to annoy me."

Stuart shrugged. "If you gave me details I might be inclined to leave you alone."

"If you want to gossip I suggest you wait until Jackie gets back."

"God…you're no fun." He shifted in his seat before asking seriously, "Are you happy? I mean I'm assuming that it was when you found out about the baby that you two had that…blip."

"I wasn't thrilled with the idea at first," Robbie admitted. "Fuck knows I've already screwed up fatherhood once and didn't want to really repeat it, but things have changed again."

"You looking forward to it now?"

He smiled. "Yeah."

"Do you want a girl or boy?"

"Don't really mind," he shrugged. "We've already decided we want to wait to find out."

"You mean I've got to wait for four months as well!"

"My heart bleeds for you."

Stuart laughed and then settled back in his seat before leaning forward, realisation dawning across his features as he proclaimed indignantly, "Wait a minute, you told me that you had no idea about any new men in her life!"

Robbie merely grinned as he replied, "Ah but I wasn't lying."

* * *

><p>"I brought dinner," Robbie called out as he stepped into Jackie's flat later that night. "Just got us some Chinese."<p>

He grabbed some plates and dumped the whole lot down onto the coffee table. Jackie smiled up at him, "You'll make me fat," she told him.

"One takeout does not a fat person make."

"This is two in a row though."

He shrugged. "So we'll try not to make too much of a habit out of it. Now how's your back?"

"Stiff and sore," she told him honestly.

"You been able to get everything you need today?"

She nodded. "Yes, so stop worrying about me, I'm fine and the bump's fine as well."

"They been kicking?"

"Back to almost constantly wriggling around," she confirmed before asking, "Want to feel?"

He nodded, flattening his hand against her stomach again. It was strange how he'd never really been that interested in Gaby's pregnancy - he blamed the fact he'd been immature and completely unprepared for the realities of such a responsibility - and yet with Jackie and this baby he was now completely enthralled. It had admittedly taken a while for him to get his head around the situation but he was already starting to feel that overwhelming panic start to be replaced by small tugs of excitement.


	15. Chapter 15

**So this is going to be the last update for at least three weeks as I'm going away on holiday and unless I have a completely sleepless night then this will be the last update until I get back.**

**So I hope you enjoy and I'd love it if you'd leave an opinion :)**

* * *

><p>"I missed you today," Jackie breathed out, her hands curling into the lapels of his suit as she pulled him closer to her, kissing him deeply, smiling against his lips when his fingers threaded though her hair.<p>

Finally they moved ever so slightly apart, his forehead resting against hers. "I can tell," he got out on a slight chuckle, his thumb brushing across her cheekbone. "How are you feeling?"

"Good," she replied. "Think I should be fine to go back to work on Monday."

"You know you don't need to rush," he told her, his features settling into a concerned frown.

"I know that, but it's only Thursday just now, we have the scan tomorrow and the bruises will fade over the weekend. Plus it'll just be sitting at a desk, that's not too taxing."

"Hmmm," he mumbled, looking completely unconvinced.

"Anyway," she smiled up at him, her fingers brushing lightly up and down the nape of his neck, her lips brushing his momentarily before she continued, "I was trying to show you just how much I missed you."

He laughed, almost uncomfortably, his hands wrapping around her wrist as he gently pulled them away from around his neck. "You did that already," he replied gently, kissing her forehead as he moved away from her, heading to the kitchen, he yelled back over his shoulder, "We got any food?"

"Yeah, I made cottage pie for dinner, it's in the oven, be at least another twenty minutes," she called back even as her arms fell to her side and she looked at his departing back, feeling confused and hurt by his rejection. Deciding she might just be slightly over-reacting and that he hadn't quite gotten her hint, she followed him through, adding, "You know we could do a lot in twenty minutes."

Again he coughed under his breath and mumbling, moved away from her once more. "Might just go get changed before dinner."

Her spine snapped rigidly straight as he brushed past her again. As she heard her bedroom door shut, she looked down at herself, she'd even made an effort for tonight, picking out an outift carefully and going as far as to unbutton the top few buttons of her blouse to show just a hint of cleavage. She'd done it because in all honesty she was craving sex, she couldn't stop thinking about it, the accident had somewhat curbed those thoughts but they'd returned today with a vengeance and all she wanted was for him to touch her, and unfortunately he seemed desperate not to touch her.

Her fingertips brushed her bump, maybe he just didn't find her pregnant body attractive. She knew he'd made jokes about finding her more ample breasts a turn on but then it was easy enough to say those things. Apparently though he was determined not to act on his words. Shoulders slumping she wondered almost resignedly why she was even surprised, her pre pregnancy body had already been more ample than the stick insects he'd dated previously, so the excess weight wasn't exactly going to help her plight. And if that was the case then she was facing a long four months.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Robbie gave a satisfied sigh as he pushed his plate away from himself, stretching his legs out under the table. He grinned over at Jackie, "And you tell people you can't cook.""

"I don't actually tell people that," she nipped back somewhat sharply. "People just assume that I can't."

His eyelids flickered, his expression belying a moment of shock at her tone before he managed to compose himself again. "Well it was perfect, and you told me toast was as posh as it would get in here." He sent her another grin, this one more hopeful than cheeky.

Still smarting from his earlier rejection however, Jackie gave a one shouldered shrug as she let her fork drop with a clang onto her plate. "Just don't expect it again."

Robbie drummed his fingers nervously against the wood of her table. "You alright?" he asked in concern, she'd been quiet and somewhat subdued throughout the entire meal, and although Jackie had a temper she wasn't really one for petty sniping.

"Fine."

"If you're tired you could always have an early night, I'll make sure I stay quiet and come up after sportscene, I won't wake you if that's what you're worried about."

Her lips pursed tightly together at that statement, she was sure he would be thrilled if she just disappeared to bed and fell asleep before he got there so that he wouldn't have to risk touching her, while she lay there trying not to focus on the fact that she could feel the heat from his body seeping into her. "I'm not tired," she nearly growled back at him. Letting out a deep breath she added with false calmness, "Anyway I was thinking that maybe you shouldn't stay here tonight, that you should go back to your own flat."

This time Robbie looked for all the world as though she'd just slapped him, his face visibly paled as he looked at her in hurt bewilderment. "What?"

She glared over at him. "I said go home," she repeated firmly, she refused to feel guilty about this.

His brown eyes tried to fix onto hers, but she was already pushing herself up and away from the table and so he went after her, catching her in the hall, catching her forearm and stilling her. Slowly he turned her round to face him. "Have I done something wrong?" he asked nervously.

Jackie took in the confusion in his eyes and finally taking some pity, shook her head, "No, you haven't, not really."

"Not really means I have," he replied dryly. "Look I'd rather you just told me."

Her fists clenched and unclenched almost rhythmically before she finally told him, "I get that you don't find me attractive at the moment so I don't see the point in you forcing yourself to spend the night in the same bed as me in an attempt to ease your conscience , I'm fine, I don't need 24-7 care."

For once she was unable to read the expression in his clear gaze as he got out haltingly, "I…I don't find you attractive?"

She sighed irritably, "It's fine, I get it you don't need to pretend anymore, I know I'm starting to resemble a blimp and that you like thin women."

His mouth twitched. "You don't resemble a blimp and I've told you before I love your curves, I don't want some twig anymore."

"Yes but I know that I don't have curves anymore, I don't even have a hint of a waistline anymore. So you're released from your obligation to pretend you find me attractive."

"I am?"

"Yes."

He shook his head. "Jacks…"

"What?"

"Have the pregnancy hormones taken over your brain?"

"Oh piss off!" she snapped. "Don't be so bloody patronizing."

"I'm actually being serious," he half laughed. "You think I pretend to find you attractive?"

"Well you've barely touched me since we found out about the baby, which was about the time I started to rapidly expand, so yeah I think you feel guilty and you're trying to ease your conscience after the way you behaved."

His thumbs brushed soothingly across the bare skin of her arms as he replied, "I do feel guilty about the way I behaved, I'll give you that, but I have never, ever pretended to find you attractive, I don't need to."

"Then why do you constantly pull away from me?"

"Because you wanted to slow things down a bit, and then you had your fall and Christ Jacks I'm not so bad that I'm going to pester my hurt, pregnant girlfriend for sex, I can stick to the cold showers for a while."

"But I want sex, I thought I made that clear, God Robbie I near enough threw myself at you tonight. I can't stop thinking about it, I'm actually craving sex and you seem intent on pushing me away."

"Because of what I just said, not because I don't find you attractive! Fuck sake, Jackie!" He was getting beyond irritated now. "Your back's covered in bruises and about seventy two hours ago we thought we were going to lose our baby, I was trying to show you that I cared by not pushing you into anything."

"I told you earlier that my back feels much better."

"And I was meant to take that to mean you wanted me to ravish you?" he asked, his mouth now twitching in amusement again.

She rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Well from that and the fact that I'd wrapped myself around you when you came in tonight."

He nodded. "Well lesson learned," he assured her.

Jackie laughed before asking nervously, "You're not just saying this to make me feel better, I mean I might not like it, but I will understand if you tell me you don't like the way I look just now. I'd much rather you were honest."

"You want me to be honest about the way you look?"

"Of course."

"Ok then." He stepped ever so slightly closer to her, his eyes roaming over her before he started again. "Your hair looks good, dark and glossy so that every time you move your head it shimmers slightly under the light." He ran his finger gently down the column of her throat provoking a small murmur from her and a smug smile from him. "And you should already know just how much I love your skin, it's perfect and so soft that I can't get enough of touching it."

"Robbie," she breathed out shakily. "You've made your point."

"I don't think I'm even halfway through, now don't interrupt again," he warned her. His hands trailed down until it was cupping one breast, the other arm around her waist. "And you have no idea how much I want to see these in all their glory now, I had to consciously focus on your face tonight when I came in and saw you'd undone your top buttons."

"I did that for a reason you ass."

"I was trying to be a gentleman."

"That doesn't really suit you."

"Quiet woman, I'm trying to admire you. Anyway as I was saying, the thought of them in my hand, in my mouth has caused me to take quite a few cold showers the last few days." His finger moved the material of her top slightly, exposing the curve of one and as if to prove a point dropped a chaste kiss to it. He ran his hands down his sides and admitted dryly, "And ok, so your waistline might have vanished for just now but there is a reason for it and to be honest it's not something that bothers me. Anyway," His hands slid down to her ass, groping her as he pulled his hips into hers as he did so. "This hasn't changed and I bet your legs haven't either." He kissed the corner of her mouth, telling her, "Pregnancy suits you, Jacks."

"You mean that?"

"I don't think I've ever told you something I didn't mean," he confided. "Not gonna start now." His mouth twitched as he then asked, "So are you really craving sex?"

She rolled her eyes before somewhat grudgingly admitting, "As it happens yes, I am."

His smirk widened. "Want me to help you out with that?"

This time her smile was genuine. "I think your help's just what I need."

"And your back-"

"Does not have to be an issue," she told him, not even letting him finish the question. "You can use that imagination of yours, get inventive, I know how much you like that," she teased.

Robbie laughed, wrapping his hands around her wrists and tugging her towards the bedroom. "Come on then, feel I've left you waiting long enough and I don't like to leave a lady hanging."

* * *

><p>Stuart frowned, looking supremely uncomfortable when Robbie strolled into the office the next morning, whistling cheerily. "Please stop," he told him.<p>

The older man looked up at him in mild surprise. "What? Whistling?" he asked in confusion.

"Yeah, that and the smug I got lucky last night smile, it was bad enough before we knew who you were sleeping with, now it's just a case of too much information."

Robbie laughed. "Is a man not allowed to be cheerful around here?"

"Aye, but you can just tone it down a bit," Burke chimed in from behind him. "Now what time are you leaving at today?"

"Appointment's at half one and I need to pick Jackie up, figured if we weren't too busy here I'd take her for some lunch first, she's going stir crazy in that flat. So just before twelve?" he asked hopefully.

Burke gave a curt nod. "Should be able to manage that." He knew to an outsider it would look as though he was giving quite a bit of leeway to the rogue DI, but even just over the last few days, Robbie had snapped back to his best, and when he was good he was amongst the best, so he was willing to compromise slightly if it meant keeping him at the top of his game.

"Thanks," Robbie grinned, as he dropped into his seat and began sifting through the pile of paperwork he'd snaffled from Jackie's desk, after all he didn't want her working herself too hard when she came back.

* * *

><p>Jackie couldn't help but marvel at the change that could occur over as little time as five weeks. At her first scan Robbie had been quiet and subdued, his face ashen and his hands shaky, this time he was quite upbeat, almost jumpy in fact and so attentive it was bordering on irritating. "You gonna be able to sit in that?" he asked, indicating the hard backed seat.<p>

"Yes," she replied. "Now sit down and stop bloody hovering, Robbie."

He actually did as she'd asked and sat next to her, his foot tapping nervously off the floor, his knee bouncing as he did it. She pushed her hand firmly against the offending leg. "Stop it," she told him quietly. "And just tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing," he replied, just a tad too quickly for his words to ring true."

"Robbie…"

He shook his head. "It's stupid, just moment's like this make it all seem a bit too real."

She smiled. "It'll be fine, once the baby gets here we'll figure out the best way for this to work."

"Yeah, I know," he replied. "I'm not looking for a way out again," he reassured her, worried she'd think that he was heading into another blind panic. "I just still don't quite have my head around the fact that this is really going to happen yet."

"Ah well, that makes two of us," she laughed, her hand squeezing his. "We can screw it up together."

He chuckled, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. "I love you, you know that?"

"I do," she confirmed. "And God knows why but I love you too."

As her name rang out in the near empty waiting room, Jackie gave his fingers one last squeeze as they got to their feet and headed into the small room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

This time as they walked down the hospital corridor after the scan, Robbie seemed unable to put the ultrasound photo down, turning it this way and that, looking for more details. Jackie looked over at him in barely concealed amusement, telling him, "It's not a hologram, nothing new is going to just jump out at you."

He pinched the skin just above her elbow. "I'm trying to decide which one of us he looks like."

"You still don't know that they're a he!" she exclaimed in mild annoyance.

"I saw the look the radiographer gave me when I said he, it was a look of the man's a genius and's cracked it."

"Or…it was one of he's so far off base it's unbelievable. Anyway thought you said you didn't mind what it was?"

"I don't," he replied honestly. "I just happen to think that it's a boy, don't you have a gut feeling?"

"Not really, it kind of changes every so often. Last week I was convinced that it was a boy but then after the first scan I was positive I was having a girl." She then added almost grudgingly, "But all my brothers have had boys and I was the only girl on my dad's side of the family in about four generations so I suppose it's more likely that you're right and they are in fact a he."

"But you don't mind?"

"Nope." She rubbed her stomach. "Each one brings it's own set of challenges."

"True…I bet you were a tomboy though, all those years waiting for a girl and I'll bet you had to be better than your brothers at anything they did."

Jackie grinned. "Yup, I was constantly covered in mud from the age of two till I was about seven and even then I preferred football to ballet. My mum just accepted it though, said she'd always expected another boy anyway and she was so happy to actually have a daughter that she could wait out the tomboy phase."

"So it did end then?"

"Yeah…started to get into 'girlier' things when I was about twelve." She swallowed heavily and shrugged as she added, "My mum got sick not long afterwards and died when I was fourteen so she never really got to do any of the stuff she'd wanted to."

Robbie stayed quiet, wrapping his arm around her shoulders for a moment before telling her, "She'd be pretty proud of you now though."

"Hopefully."

"Definitely."

"I still had my brother's and my dad and believe me they overcompensated for the fact I didn't have a mum, despite the fact they didn't have a clue. They tried but I always ended up going to see my mum's sister Jocelyn if I had a problem, I-" She stopped suddenly, her face going pale. "Shit," she mumbled.

"What?" He looked at her in concern.

"I haven't told them…any of them about the baby." She shook her head. "Fuck! They're going to flip their lids."

"Won't be that bad, surely?"

She gave a small laugh. "You're kidding, we're not married which means they'll automatically want to kill you, and they've always hated any man I've brought home anyway which doesn't exactly fill me with confidence."

"Doesn't mean they'll hate me."

Jackie let out an unconvinced mumble. "It's my dad's birthday tomorrow, Alison and Alex are cooking dinner for the family, I was planning to make my excuses but I suppose I'll just need to bit the bullet and tell them."

"Well it beats giving him a jumper," Robbie remarked dryly. "You want me to come with you?"

Leaning into his side slightly, she replied, "No, think I'll give them time to get used to the idea before I drag you into an interrogation. You got anyone still to tell?"

"Nope, called Jamie the other night…he was surprised and kind of disappeared off the phone pretty quickly after that, so don't know how he's really taken it, but there's no one else, mum's dead 'n me and my dad don't speak."

"Oh," she hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should ask, but then decided by going from the expression on his face just to leave it alone. "Well I'm sure that Jamie will come around to the idea eventually."

"Hopefully," he mumbled. He glanced back down at the picture still in his hand and smiled again, telling her, "And you know if you change your mind and need me to come rescue you that you only need to call."

"What and you'll come charging in on your white horse?"

"Maybe not a horse…but the car can go pretty damn fast."

Jackie laughed. "That might be a good thing."


	16. Chapter 16

**So I'm back! And so is this story :)**

**Loving the fact we have more challenges on the go at the moment!**

**Now as for this, I can't decide what I want the baby to be, so if anyone has any suggestions then feel free to let me know. I also think they'll be a new story from me soon, but I don't know which new story will be coming up next, I'm struggling to decide.**

* * *

><p>As he stepped through the glass double doors that led into the main entrance of the station, Robbie knew instantly and without a shadow of a doubt that people were talking about him. It was a talent he'd picked up after years of somewhat scandalous behaviour - scandalous for a DI anyway. He could tell by the way that the conversation the cluster of uniformed officers were having abruptly stopped, with half the group studiously avoiding his gaze while the other half blatantly stared at him.<p>

He didn't react to the situation, merely shot them a grin of greeting as he strolled cheerfully towards the stairs that led to CID, he was in too good a mood for anything to spoil it. That and despite the way he acted at times, Robbie was no fool, he knew that Jackie's pregnancy was considered big gossip, and he knew that everyone was simply waiting for the confirmation that he was the father. After all workplace affairs were always considered big news and he had a feeling that quite a few of the bigger gossips around here wanted to know just how the 'whoremongering' DI had managed to seduce the 'by the rules' DS. Not that he had any intention of filling them in of course, it was after all none of their bloody business.

Repressing a cheerful whistle, Robbie continued towards his desk, smiling brightly over at Stuart as he dropped into his chair, asking, "Anything happen while I was out?"

Glancing up from his computer screen, the younger man shook his head. "Nothing interesting, just reading through our victim's emails. So how did the scan go?"

His grin widening, Robbie stretched back in his chair looking pleased with himself. "Everything's good, baby's perfect and Jackie's bored but healthy."

Stuart laughed under his breath, replying, "Yeah she's never been one for just taking it easy." He looked over at Robbie, adding curiously, "And you really didn't find out the sex?"

"Really didn't, told you we talked about it and decided we want it to be a surprise. Well," he amended himself with a grin. "Jackie decided and since I'm not bothered either way, I agreed with her."

Stuart frowned at him disapprovingly, echoing, "You're not bothered? Wouldn't let her catch you saying that."

Robbie rolled his eyes. "I meant I don't care if it's a boy or a girl as long as they're healthy. So if Jackie wants to wait until they're born then fine, I can wait."

"That almost sounded mature," Stuart grinned.

He shrugged. "That and I'm already convinced it's a boy, and I don't mind waiting to be proved right."

"What if it's a girl?" Stuart asked worriedly.

"Then it's a girl," Robbie replied, looking unconcerned. "I meant what I said, I don't mind, I already have a son, so either or really. I just happen to think that we're having a boy."

"And what does Jackie think?"

He laughed. "She thinks I need to stop saying he and him all the time, even though she admitted today she thinks it's going to be a boy. Doesn't want me giving them a complex in case it is a girl."

"Think I'll hold off buying my gift in blue then until it's all been confirmed then," Stuart countered in amusement.

Robbie's mouth twitched. "You'll see," he told the younger DC confidently. "I'm right about this." Tapping his fingers impatiently off the desk he then waited a moment before asking, "So what exactly have the gossips been saying?"

Stuart's spine stiffened, his left eye twitching as he replied, "Nothing, why?"

"Because for the last two days every time I've walked into the canteen or even into the corridor, conversations seem to grind to a halt."

Shrugging, Stuart replied, "It's considered big news and no-one really knows what to make of it."

His eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

He shifted uncomfortably under Robbie's stare. "Why you asking me?"

"Because you work with both of us, so I'm pretty sure that people will instantly go to you because you might know more. After all they're not bloody likely to go to Burke."

"That's true," Stuart admitted before sighing and finally replying, "They wanted to know if the baby's yours or if you found out about it and you were so jealous that that's what caused your recent bender. They were also debating whether or not you two are actually dating or if the baby's a result of a drunken fumble at our Christmas party."

"We were stone cold sober at that damn Christmas party," Robbie growled. His glare deepened. "And what did you tell them?"

Stuart's eyes flickered almost guiltily away from Robbie's. "You know I don't usually join in with gossip, but I wanted it over with by the time Jackie gets back, figured that this was the last thing she'd need, so I gave them a couple of answers. I told them you'd been dating for a while but had wanted to keep it quiet and that the Christmas party had nothing to do with it. I dunno how true what I said was, but it was enough to shut them up."

Robbie nodded. "That's fine."

"So are you two back together then?"

"Yeah," Robbie admitted before his grin turned back into a look of confusion. "Wait, why would you tell people we were dating if you weren't sure?"

Stuart's cheeks flushed crimson. "I figured considering what they were planning, that was the best way to stop them."

"What exactly were they planning?" Robbie asked dangerously.

"One of the younger PC's was going to ask you out in front of Jackie to see both of your reactions."

"It's like a damn playground in this place!"

"Yeah, well anyway I thought that after everything that happened with the baby this week and the fact that things had been so…up in the air with you two recently that this was the last thing she needed."

"You're right," Robbie replied, his mouth set in a grim line. "She doesn't need this."

"Well it's starting to blow over now that they've heard you're together, now they're just wondering how she managed to tame you," Stuart laughed.

The older man shot him a grin. "Even I don't know that. Listen thanks for sorting this out."

"Wasn't a problem, it's nice to see you happy for a change," he replied candidly. "Plus with Jackie on desk work it means I get to do more interesting things for a change, feel I should make it up to her," he laughed.

Robbie tutted in mock disapproval, although his eyes glittered as he replied, "There's always an ulterior motive."

* * *

><p>"Stop here," Jackie instructed Robbie firmly as he pulled into the modern looking cul-de-sac.<p>

He swung the car closer into the pavement and pressed his feet into the brake pedal, stopping as she'd asked. Looking over at her clasped hands and watching as she twisted her fingers together, he finally asked, "I'm guessing that they live further down, so why are you making me stop up here?"

"I don't want to risk them seeing me get out the car when you're still in it."

Robbie simply arched his eyebrow. "And why?"

"Because they'll just start interrogating me the second I get in…and it's going to be bad enough when I take the bloody coat off," she replied.

He nodded, unable to think of an instant reply to that, she'd spent longer than he'd cared to time deciding on an outfit that didn't instantly scream 'pregnant' when she walked into the room. Unfortunately given the size of her bump now, that had been an impossible task, and so she'd decided to disguise her burgeoning stomach with her coat. Robbie had decided not to ask just how she was planning to keep said coat on until she broke the news.

"Maybe I should have called first and told them," she mumbled worriedly, glancing over at Robbie, wanting his opinion, his reassurance.

"Maybe," he replied. "But you'd still have had to face them today."

"I think that maybe I should call and say I can't come today."

At that he caught her hand, squeezing it reassuringly, knowing that although she'd never admit to it, her hormones were having one hell of an effect on her recently. "You'd still need to tell them," he told her lowly. "And you said yourself that you were looking forward to seeing them after so long, and anyway what could be a better present for your Dad than a new grandkid?"

"If I was married and pregnant."

"Times change," Robbie shrugged easily. "And it's not like you're doing this alone, so are you sure that you sure that you don't want me in there with you?"

"Positive," she nodded. "Because no offence but they won't like you. They've never liked anyone I've introduced them to, they even hated Brian."

"Well that's something we'd have in common then."

She hit his shoulder, warning him, "Stop it now."

He held up his hands. "Fine, but if you change your mind and decide you want me there after all, just call, ok?"

Leaning over, she kissed his cheek, her eyes warm and soft as she replied, "I will, and thank you."

"Not a problem." He reached over and grabbed the neatly wrapped gift, pressing it into her hands as he told her firmly, "Now go."

She gave a resolute nod, leaning over to kiss his cheek once more before she let out yet another agitated sigh and got out of the car. She heard rather than saw the car pull away, as biting down nervously on her bottom lip she headed towards her brother's front door.

Pausing on the doorstep, she tried to remember why she'd thought that breaking the news like this had been a good idea. Oh yes, it had been because it had meant telling everyone at once, ripping off the metaphorical plaster and getting it over and done with, quickly - although probably still quite painfully. Still as she kept reminding herself, it had to be done.

Fixing a bright smile on her face, Jackie took a deep breath and opened the front door, stepping into the cluttered hallway. At the top of the hallway, Alison appeared in the kitchen doorway, looking flustered and clutching onto a wine glass. "You're finally here," she breathed out gratefully. "Thank God, because I'm about to swing for Laura. I seriously don't understand how Fiona manages to avoid her so successfully, I'll need to corner her and squeeze the truth out of her at some point." Alison took a sip of her wine and shook her head. "Anyway dump your coat and go through and I'll bring you in a glass."

"Actually I'm not going to be drinking," Jackie told her quickly.

"You're kidding? Seriously this is starting to become a bad habit and if it weren't for the fact that Fiona's here today then we'd be having words. You know I hate drinking solo."

Jackie gave a casual shrug. "I know, but I'm trying to be healthier."

"Red wine lowers your risk of heart disease."

"Answer's still no."

"Fine, stick," Alison mumbled. "I'll bring you through some lemonade instead."

"Actually do you have any sparkling water?"

Her sister in law grinned. "With or without the gin?"

"Without," Jackie replied, a hint of a smile tugging at her lips.

She nodded, as she turned and headed back into the kitchen.

Waiting until she was out of sight, Jackie let out another deep breath before finally and slowly shrugging off her jacket. She'd belatedly realised that keeping it on would raise more questions than it would stop, plus she'd look daft. She didn't know why it took her so long to realise that, although she was blaming hormones, some days she felt like her brain had been scrambled.

Once again she pulled down on the hem of her top, trying to conceal the obvious rounding of her stomach. To be honest she wasn't entirely sure what better, walking in looking fat or walking in looking pregnant. Fat she decided quickly was definitely the lesser of the two evils, it would at least prompt less questions, and so with one last nervous glance at her bump she headed for the living room.

The moment she stepped into the room she heard her Dad's loud voice proclaim, "There's my girl, how are you?"

Jackie leaned down, hugging him warmly as she replied, "I'm fine Dad, happy birthday."

His broad smile widened as he accepted her present. "You didn't have to," he told her as he unwrapped the whisky and jumper she'd gotten him. "You lot spoil me."

She laughed, telling him, "I don't think a jumper and a dram is spoiling you."

He gave a snort but didn't reply past that, instead telling her, "You look well, don't look as tired as you normally do."

Laura's eyes narrowed, as her sharp gaze perused Jackie. "Yes, you look very…full figured today."

Fiona wrinkled her nose at the back of Laura's head as she replied coolly, "Well not everyone can be as emaciated as you are."

The woman's head snapped round, her knuckles whitening at they tightened around her wine glass. Jackie took her own drink from Alison and sat down, normally she had a quick witted reply in return to her sister in law's catty comments, but her mind was so caught up in what she was about to tell them that she'd barely even heard her today.

George Reid leaned forward and patted his youngest child and only daughter's hand, even though he had three sons, she was the most stubborn and hard headed out of all his children and so he worried about her. "How is work?" he asked.

She smiled, taking a short sip of her water before replying, "Absolutely fine."

"You keeping safe?"

"Of course," she nodded. "In fact if anything work's been quite dull lately." She didn't count her scare a few days before in that category of course but she was definitely keeping that quiet.

Still the answer appeared to alleviate some of his concern and he settled back into the armchair he'd commandeered. The small silence that followed caused Laura to jump in, asking cattily, "So is it still just work or are you actually seeing anyone at the moment?"

Jackie had always despised this question, it was the look of sympathy you got if you said no that got to her, it didn't even matter if you were perfectly happy on your own, you still got that look. On the plus side however it gave her the perfect opening for her to drop in her piece of news. "Actually I am," she replied calmly, refusing to meet either her brother's or her Dad's now darkened gazes. "In fact I have some news."

Alison's eyes gleamed. "Now that sounds intriguing. What is it?"

"I'm pregnant." She smiled at that statement, because despite the fact it had been unplanned she was happy about this latest turn in her life.

The room however fell silent, her brother Alex looked at her in disbelief and was unsurprisingly in her view, the first to voice his feelings on the matter. "What the hell are you thinking?"

Her shoulders jerked. "Meaning?"

"Alex…" Alison growled warningly.

He ignored her. "Who the hell is the father? You've never mentioned anyone."

Ian was next to jump in, "And isn't this all a bit sudden?" he asked. "You can't have been seeing him for very long," he pointed out angrily. "How the hell could you be so irresponsible?"

"I'll swing for him," John muttered darkly. "I mean where is he? He should be here!"

"He offered but I refused," she told them with a calmness she didn't really feel. "Mainly because I wanted to spare him this."

"When are you due?" Alison asked, desperately trying to bring some levity to the situation.

"September eighth," she replied quietly.

Even Alison's eyes widened at that date, as they all took in the fact that it was only four months away. Although of anything it just seemed to infuriate her brothers even more. "And you didn't tell us until now!" Alex bellowed.

"I haven't known for very long," she admitted reluctantly, meeting his gaze head on. "I'll admit this wasn't planned-" John snorted and she shot him a glare before continuing, "But that doesn't mean you lot get to sit and pass judgement."

"Are you happy?" Her Dad suddenly asked quietly from his corner.

She turned to face him, shooting him a genuine smile. "Yes, I am."

"How long have you been seeing each other then?" Fiona asked.

"Since just before Christmas." She glanced over at her brother's, adding quickly, "But before you start we've known each other for years." She took a deep breath, deciding just to get the next part out there as well and get it over with, and added, "We work together, he's the DI at the station."

"Sleeping with the boss, not the most original story," Laura murmured, sotto voice.

Jackie literally bit down on the tip of her tongue to stop herself from biting back a comment to that one, it would simply make things worse. Instead she ground out, "He isn't my boss, he's senior to me but that's not that same thing."

"How many years you known him?" Ian asked, forehead still crinkled in annoyance although he looked slightly put at ease by the fact that she wasn't just throwing herself into a potential disastrous relationship with a man she barely knew."

"About ten years."

They all fell silent. She looked over to where her Dad was sitting, watched as he took a long gulp of his pint before placing it back on the table. "You'll need to arrange for us to meet him," he finally told her.

"I know that," she replied quietly.

"Good, then it's settled." Before anyone else could butt in and restart the debate, he asked, "Now where are my grandsons and where's this bloody cake they keep droning on about?"

* * *

><p>Since she'd let it slip that Robbie had dropped her off, her brothers had been chomping at the bit to have him pick her up so that they could meetpunch him, so even though that had been her original plan - the picking up, not the punching - Jackie had abandoned the idea. She'd planned to get a taxi, but Alison had insisted on driving her.

The car had just pulled out the street when Alison asked, "So you want to tell me about it?"

"About what," she replied carefully.

"About what's been going on the past few months, about how you got pregnant before Christmas but at New Year you never mentioned that you were seeing anyone? Or maybe you could fill me in on how a man you've known and worked with for ten years is suddenly a relationship prospect."

"It's complicated."

"I'll bet it is."

"There's always been something there," she finally admitted. "But Robbie was always a bit of a womanizer, you know the type, charming one minute and then you can't get a hold of him the next." She shrugged. "We kind of skirted around the issue for a while, with nothing actually happening but then I realised I wanted commitment and I didn't think he could give me that. Not long afterwards I met Brian and that was that."

"Except it wasn't."

"Suppose not. I dunno, by the time I was over the divorce we were good friends, he's always been there for me and I didn't want to lose that, so nothing happened until the start of December."

Alison grinned. "Are we finally getting to the good stuff?"

"We were undercover as a couple and it involved staying overnight in a hotel, and well…" she looked meaningfully at her bump.

"So why didn't you tell me about him at Christmas? I could have kept my mouth shut."

"Because we weren't together at that point." She sighed, a wry smile tugging at her lips. "Like I said, it was complicated."

"But things are sorted now?"

"Getting there, this wasn't planned and we're still getting our heads around it."

Alison nodded and then looked sideways at her. "So about him being a commitment phobic womanizer, are you sure he's changed?"

"Yes," Jackie replied decisively. "I trust him."

"Ok then."

They fell into silence for the rest of the short trip. As she pulled just outside Jackie's flat, Alison turned again and shot her a genuine smile as she told her, "By the way, congratulations."

"Thanks," Jackie replied, her own smile wide for the first time since she'd broken her news to her family. She gave one last wave towards her sister-in-law before she stepped into her flat. Her smile widened even further when she realised that she could hear Robbie whistling in her kitchen and could smell something cooking as well.

He turned as she stepped into the room, catching her wrist and pulling her into him, wrapping his arms around her warmly. "So, how did it go?" he asked after a moment of silence.

She pulled back slightly so that she could look up at him, and gave a minute shrug. "My brothers started yelling and now want to kill you, and my Dad barely said anything before he changed the subject." She shook her head sadly. "The four of them didn't seem even remotely pleased about the baby."

Robbie tugged her back into a tight hug - well as tight as her bump would allow - telling her, "Give them some time, it's big news and they weren't expecting it. I mean look how I reacted, and now I'm more than happy about this, although admittedly still pretty terrified at times."

"I suppose," she mumbled. "They want to meet you."

"Thought they might, so what do you think would be the best idea for that?"

"I was going to ask them round here for dinner."

He nodded. "Then that's what we'll do."

Deciding she needed to move away from the subject now and focus on something more pleasant, Jackie asked, "So what are you cooking?"

"It's a surprise, I'm making you dinner, got in some dessert and then afterwards I thought we could have an early night." His hands slipped underneath her top, caressing her lower back as he finished his sentence, leaving her in no doubt as to what he meant by an early night.

She laughed softly. "You did, huh?"

"Yup."

Kissing him gently before pulling back ever so slightly she told him, "You're spoiling me."

"No I'm not, just treating you the way you deserve to be treated for a change."

She blamed her hormones once more for the fact that she actually wanted to cry at those words - although she did manage to contain herself. "I really do love you," she told him.

"I know," he replied cockily. "And I even let you show me just how much later tonight."


	17. Chapter 17

Turning onto his side, Robbie smiled at the sight of Jackie lying next to him, her arm resting across her stomach, fingers splayed out on her bump. He found it funny to see how the way she slept had changed after the last few months, she'd always slept so far onto her side that she was very nearly on her stomach. As that wasn't an option for her anymore, she'd taken to lying on her back, although in what he supposed was force of habit, she kept trying to roll back onto her side in her sleep - something that was amusing to watch.

Reaching out, Robbie touched her bump gently, his smile softening when he felt the baby move under his touch. He glanced back up at Jackie's peaceful face, her features relaxed in sleep and despite the fact that everything was going well with them, that they had worked past their - well his - recent blunders, he couldn't relax enough to sleep and he felt too antsy to just lie there.

He slowly got to his feet, being careful not to accidentally jostle her awake, she was incredibly irritable if you woke her up nowadays. She'd been so exhausted after her first day back at work today that she'd ended up coming back to his flat for a change as it was slightly closer to work and all she'd wanted to do was sleep. Not that he'd minded, he was more than happy to have her in his flat, she made it brighter, homelier.

Heading into his living room, he paused by the photo of him holding Jamie as a baby. Sighing he turned away and opening the small cabinet door pulled out a bottle of scotch, pouring himself a small glass.

He stared at the liquid, swirling it slowly in the glass, his eyes drifting back to the few photos that sat along one side of the room. There weren't many and they all featured Jamie.

Rubbing at the back of his neck agitatedly, Robbie sucked in a deep breath, if he were honest with himself he knew why he was so on edge, it was because he still hadn't heard from Jamie since he'd told him about Jackie's pregnancy. It was as though he were gaining a second chance to be a good father but losing the son he already had in the process.

Leaning back, he let his head loll back on the sofa so he could stare at the ceiling. He could still remember how he felt when he held Jamie for the first time.

When Gaby had told him she wanted to start trying for a baby he'd simply went along with it because that's what you did after you got married, and it wasn't that he'd ever been opposed to the idea of children when he was younger, he just hadn't been prepared for the reality of it all.

He'd been more focused on moving up the ranks, although he always knew that there was only so far he could go, his methods were unorthodox and considered rash, so he'd never make anything past DCI, if he ever made it that far. Still he'd been determined to climb the ranks, but that had taken hours and hours of overtime and throwing himself into the cases they'd caught. So he'd not really been there for Gaby's pregnancy.

Not that he'd been that bothered by that, he just hadn't been ready for it and it had been easier to ignore the entire thing. He'd planned to be there for the birth and yet even that had backfired in his face, Gaby had ended up needing an emergency caesarean and he hadn't been allowed in the theatre with her.

Still he remembered when they took him in to see his son for the first time like it was yesterday, handing the small bundle over to him. Jamie had simply stared up at him with unfocussed eyes, blinking in the direction of his voice. He'd been filled with this intense rush of love and pride, he had a little boy, someone who'd carry his name.

Those somewhat romantic notions had faded somewhat when the realities of parenthood had hit. Jamie would scream for hours on end and Gaby hadn't been able to breastfeed and Jamie hadn't been able to tolerate normal formula and had had to get some special type prescribed.

Robbie had wanted to help but he didn't know what to do, he couldn't handle listening to Jamie's high pitched cries or seem to help an exhausted Gaby feel any better about the situation. On top of that he'd still been working all hours, so he wasn't even there that often.

It had improved as Jamie got older, although his marriage had never really recovered and he still struggled to be a good dad. His main concern was that he didn't become like his father, didn't bully and pressurise his son into feeling useless and unloved. Having Jamie with him made everything feel clearer in some ways and yet in others completely confused him, he didn't know how to act with him half the time, didn't know how to interact with children.

Despite his awkwardness around him though, he loved him more than he'd ever being able to put into words and so it hurt to know his son was deliberately closing him out.

He heard the creak of his bedroom door opening and looking up he saw Jackie lingering in the doorway, watching him warily. "Didn't wake you, did I?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Nope, needed some water and when you weren't next to me I'd wondered where you'd went."

"Couldn't sleep," he told her, groaning slightly as he leaned forward and placed the glass he'd yet to drink onto the coffee table.

"You want some company?"

A smile tugged at his lips at her offer. "You should be sleeping, you're exhausted enough as it is."

"Five minutes won't make a difference," she assured him. "You want anything from the kitchen?"

Twisting so that he could watch her pour herself a glass of the fizzy water that she was practical addicted to nowadays, he answered, "Nah, I'm alright, anyway I should be the one getting you stuff you want."

Jackie shrugged. "You normally are, and anyway isn't a partnership all about sharing the burden?"

"Still," he grumbled.

She chuckled as she sat down next to him, sipping at her drink as she brought her legs up onto the sofa and observed him quietly. "So what's bothering you?" she finally asked.

"Just thinking about Jamie, 'bout how he took the news."

"Mmm, no one we've told so far has exactly jumped for joy."

He looked up at her and was concerned to see the down turned corners of her mouth, he hadn't realised how much everyone's reactions had affected her. "That'll change when the baby's born, you know that right? Everyone'll be happy."

"I know that, but," She curved her hand around her bump. "I want them to be happy for us now, to be looking forward to having the baby here, with us."

"We're looking forward to having them, that's enough, that's all that matters."

Her eyes met his. "Are you really? I know you were…nervous."

He had to stop himself from laughing at her choice of words. "I am, still not sure I'll be great at being a Dad but that won't stop me loving him…or her," he added hastily.

"I think you need to stop being so hard on yourself," she told him, placing her glass onto the table next to his, leaning into his side, letting him wrap his arm around her. "You need to stop torturing yourself for how you reacted, you panicked and I understand that, but you've more than made up for your behaviour, believe me."

Robbie kissed the top of her head, smiling into her hair at her words. "If I can make this work with anyone, it's going to be with you." And he meant it. He admitted that there were some similarities between Gaby and Jackie, they were both projected the image of being confident, intelligent women. But even in those ways they could be so different. Gaby could be abrasive at times and Jackie had a surprisingly soft side, she could emphasise with people, gain their trust.

Even the way they approached being pregnant was different; Gaby told him about her pregnancy, rattled off everything she'd heard or learned, Jackie asked him questions about how he felt, what he thought about what they'd found out, involved him every step of the way. Gaby had never shown any doubt about what she wanted, Jackie was much more hesitant - maybe because she'd freely admitted she didn't think she'd ever have kids whereas Gaby was determined to have them and as much as he knew she loved Jamie, when he'd proved to be a difficult baby she'd found the reality had fallen far short of the perfect family she envisioned . Then when they'd separated, he occasionally got the feeling that she resented the impact a younger Jamie had had on her freedom.

Jackie tilted her head, kissing his lips almost chastely, pulling him out of his reverie as she mumbled, "You can be such a soppy old git at times."

"As long as you don't tell anyone," he replied, his hand drifting up and down the skin on her bare arm.

"I won't," she yawned, fighting to keep her eyes open.

Robbie smiled softly and got to his feet, tugging Jackie to hers. "You really do need to go back to bed."

She nodded. "I know."

He shepherded her towards the bedroom door and followed her under the covers, watching as she tried to find a comfortable spot on her side to lie on so that she could lean against him.

Their problems wouldn't go away overnight, they probably would have their struggles coming to terms with the reality of parenthood, their families probably wouldn't come to terms with their sudden news overnight. But at moments like these, when it was just the two of them he felt that this time the good might just outweigh the bad.

* * *

><p>"You need to calm down," Robbie told Jackie as she flapped about her kitchen the following night. He moved behind her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing the back of her neck. "Never seen you this worked up over something before."<p>

"That's because I've never agreed to do something as bloody stupid as this before."

"What, cook dinner for people?" he asked in amusement.

She turned her head and glared at him. "You know what I mean. This isn't just an ordinary dinner, they're here to judge you."

"Well then you if anyone should be panicking it's me."

"I normally wouldn't even care," she sighed, as though she hadn't even heard his last statement. "But if they don't like you then the rest of my pregnancy is going to be full of disapproving looks and tutting."

He turned her round to face him. "Jacks, stop. I'll be on my best behaviour and it'll all be fine," he told her. "I promise." He just hoped she hadn't seen or felt him cross his fingers.

She obviously hadn't, as she smiled up at him. "You're right, I'm sure you're right."

"Good, now go and sit down and I'll set the table."

"Oh but I can do that, it's only take-"

"No," he interrupted. "I don't want you carrying anything, so go sit."

Laughing under her breath, Jackie leaned forward and kissed his cheek, telling him, "You're starting to fuss and if you keep it up you'll drive me insane."

"But at least you'll be healthy."

"I might have killed you though."

"Sit down," he told her firmly.

She rolled her eyes but could sense that Robbie wasn't going to back down from this and so shaking her head she headed back into the living room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You're going to behave yourself tonight," Alison told her husband Alex as they got out of the car.

He glared up at the frontage of his sister's flat. "If she's shacked herself up with some useless bastard I'm going to tell her exactly what I think."

"That's exactly what you're not going to do," Alison told him, catching the sleeve of his jacket. "You were bad enough last week, you know you didn't even say congratulations, and you can't ruin this for her just because you don't like the man she's with. Which you never do."

"Because she has the worst taste ever, she always has."

"Brian wasn't that bad, if he hadn't been so career minded I think that they might have been together well…"

"Until he kicked the bucket."

She slapped his arm. "I hate it when you say things like that, now look all I want is for you to reserve judgement for a little while and to paste a smile on your face."

"Ask the impossible," he grumbled.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You need me to help you carry those through?" Jackie asked, nodding her head towards the drinks that Robbie was pouring.

He shook his head. "Nope, I can manage, want you to go sit down."

She moved closer to him, whispering, "Robbie they're doin' my head in."

Chuckling under his breath, he replied, "At least you've not been interrogated."

"I know, and I'm sorry about that, they've always been nightmares when it comes to the men I've introduced them to." She gave a slight frown. "Actually so have you come to that."

"Ah but I had an ulterior motive, didn't want anyone else to have you."

"Machiavellian but very almost sweet," Jackie replied.

He wrapped his arm around her, brushing his hand against her stomach. "He alright?"

"_They _are fine, think they had the hiccups earlier though, it was bizarre."

The baby kicked out against Robbie's hand and he smiled. "Could be a future footballer."

"Or ballet."

"You hate ballet," he pointed out dryly.

"I'm trying to make a point, he or she can do whatever they want."

Robbie shot her one of his trademark grins. "If they're even half as stubborn as you then we won't be able to stop them either way."

"Because you're not a stubborn ass."

"I never said I didn't like the fact that you're wilful, quite like it most'a the time."

"Such high praise."

Laughing, he pulled her closer to him. "And as for Machiavellian plotting, it did work."

"It took ten years, you would have just been quicker bloody well telling me."

"If I'd realised sooner exactly what I was missing out on, I would have."

"Ah well, I know now and that's the main thing," she assured him.

He kissed her mouth lightly and then told her, "I still want you to go back through though and leave this to me."

"Just one more minute," she replied, standing tucked into his side as they both remained completely oblivious of the figure watching them in the background.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Well I enjoyed that," George announced, as he leaned back in his chair. "Your cooking's certainly improved," he told his daughter.

"I have to admit that Robbie did help me out," she laughed.

He nodded, stretching his legs out underneath the table before announcing, "I'm going out the back for a smoke, Robbie you can join me."

"I've given up," Robbie replied.

"Wasn't really a request," the older man muttered lowly. He patted a frowning Jackie's shoulder as he past her. "Won't be too long."

Robbie raised an eyebrow in Jackie's direction and she gave a small shrug, unlike her brothers her father had always pretty much kept his opinion to himself, although his disapproval for most had always shone through regardless. She knew how to handle that though, she didn't know how to take this new approach, or even if it was good or bad.

Pulling her lips together into a thin tight line, she watched them go as she tried to focus on the conversation that was going on around her.

Robbie kicked the front of his shoes against the pavement as he leaned against the wall, watching as the older man light a cigarette and inhaled deeply. He offered the packet towards him. "You want one?"

He shook his head. "Nah, like I said, given up, it's bad for the baby and anyway Jackie can't stand it."

George nodded approvingly and Robbie couldn't help but fell he'd passed some sort of test. Another moment passed in silence before he finally asked, "Are you going to marry my daughter?"

Robbie's eyes widened and he pulled nervously at his collar. "Um…not right now, we're still sorting a lot of things out and-"

He held up his hand. "Yes or no would have done."

"I know that because she's pregnant the most natural reaction would be for us to marry but-"

"Don't want you marrying Jackie unless you love her enough to want to."

"I do love her," Robbie assured him lowly. "Just don't think it would be a good idea to rush into anything."

He gave another short nod. "I believe you, you seem like you're good for her, she's listens to you and God knows she doesn't listen to most. You'll look after her."

Robbie bristled slightly. "Course I will."

Again he smiled. "Wasn't a question. I think we understand each other, although I wouldn't expect to win my boys around for at least another few months." He turned to face him. "You can go now if you want, don't want the smell of smoke around my new grandkid."

Chuckling, Robbie nodded before heading back into the flat. As he sat back down at the table he met Jackie's gaze again and smiled at her reassuringly, watching as her shoulders relaxed and she went back to the conversation she was having with one of her sister in laws.


	18. Chapter 18

**This chapter take place over the course of the month.**

**As ever I hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

><p><strong>July<strong>

Jackie muttered darkly as she stretched her legs out underneath her desk and threw her pen to one side. She'd never been so uncomfortable in her life before and she still had another ten weeks to get through, she was now already at the stage she wondered if she'd ever see her feet ever again.

She glared at Robbie as he strolled past her, he grinned at her and then paused, looking perplexed at her expression. "What is it?"

"I hate you," she told him as she rubbed at the muscles in her lower back.

His grin returned. "You don't mean that, you're just uncomfortable again." He perched himself on her desk and leaned forward, telling her lowly, "Look when we get home I'll run you a bath and give you a back massage, ok?" When her expression didn't change he added, "I even throw in a foot rub."

Finally her frown faded slightly and she relented slightly. "Fine," she grumbled. "I suppose that sounds nice. Although I still blame you for all of this."

"I don't remember you moaning at the time…well not in a complaining type of way," he sniggered slightly.

The reaction quickly brought back Jackie's glare. "You're a complete ass."

"When you two are finished whispering endearments to each other we do in fact have a case," Burke snapped at them.

"Believe me it's not endearments I'm whispering to him," Jackie growled.

Robbie merely chuckled as he twisted to face the whiteboard, he was somewhat used to her mood swings now. Not that they were really that bad, they were mainly just caused by her discomfort. "She loves me really," he told Stuart.

Stuart simply grinned as he watched Jackie's eyes narrow at Robbie's back and her fist clenched in annoyance as she let out a deep, calming breath. "I think if you don't shut up we'll be investigating your murder soon," the younger man laughed.

"Was I taking to myself?" Burke snarled. "Get back to your damn work. Robbie, Stuart I want you to go back and talk to the manager of the betting shop. Jackie once you've done CCTV I want you to check bank statements, for a clerk at a betting shop they had a lot of fancy stuff in that flat."

"Such an exciting task," she muttered.

Burke turned to look at her. "Problem?" he echoed warningly.

"Just bored," she replied, slamming the piles of paper that she was moving down onto the desk with such a force that even Burke decided that it was simply safer to just ease away from the subject.

"Not long to go now," Stuart tried to tell her, only to notice that Robbie was slowly shaking his head and coughing, trying to get him to stop talking.

Seeing Jackie's eyes start to blaze, Robbie got to his feet and hurriedly pushed the younger officer out of the office before she could start a tirade.

* * *

><p>"Better?" Robbie asked, as he pressed his fingers into Jackie's lower back.<p>

She let out a low moan and nodded, shifting slightly, the bath water lapping gently around them. "Much, so glad I decided to get a big bath," she murmured.

He laughed, lowering his mouth to her shoulder and kissing his way along the smooth pale skin. Her hand came up to cup around the back of his head as she laughed lightly. "What is it?" he asked.

"Just realised that this is really similar to our first night together…do you remember it?"

"How could I forget," he mumbled deeply, flexing his hips against her back.

Her fingers gripped at the knees that were either side of her. "If we didn't have enough room the first time then there's no way in hell it's going to work this time," she chuckled lightly.

"Want me to help you out then?"

"Definitely," she replied. Throughout her entire pregnancy she'd craved sex and that hadn't changed even now when she felt incredibly bulky. It helped that Robbie seemed quite happy at this turn of events. She'd fully expected him to back away from that aspect of their relationship as her pregnancy had progressed and yet he hadn't, in fact if anything the sex had gotten better, more intimate. That might of course me down to the fact that their relationship itself was growing all the time, either way she wasn't complaining.

He helped her out of the tub and he laughed under his breath as he wrapped the towel around her. "I somehow don't think we'll be using the counter-top in the same way we used it then."

"Might be a bit difficult," she agreed in amusement.

"Bed then?" he asked hopefully. He didn't want her to feel pressured into anything but at the same time just touching her had left him feeling the strain and wanting more.

Finishing with the towel, Jackie let it drop to the floor as she nodded, staring up at him with dilated eyes and nodding. "Absolutely."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Linking her fingers with his, Jackie brought Robbie's hand up to her mouth and kissed his knuckles as her breath fell in heavy pants. She stretched against him, letting her head fall back against his shoulder, her smile widening as he shifted and leaned over her slightly, his chest pressing harder against her back. "That was good," she muttered.

He trailed his mouth down the side of her neck, murmuring against her skin, "It really was." He tilted her head using his hand, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth until she was moaning again.

"Robbie," she mumbled. "If you're going to do that then you better be able to follow through."

"So demanding," he chuckled.

"You love it."

"Can't argue with you on that." His hand moved to her breast, cupping the swollen flesh and kneading it gently, his thumb rubbing over her over-sensitized nipple and she arched her back.

She cupped the back of his head, fingers spearing through his hair as his mouth continued to explore her skin and his hands tormented her.

He listened to the moans that fell from her lips, loving every single one of them. He felt like he'd never get enough of them, of her no matter how hard he tried or how long they were together.

* * *

><p>"Right so we have clowns, jungle animals, elephants and teddy bears," Robbie told her, showing her the different border samples he brought with him as requested.<p>

Jackie picked them up one by one, studying them carefully. "Definitely not the clowns, they're kind of creepy. I like the jungle animals but I think it looks a bit more boyish."

He frowned at that. "Doesn't look that boyish and anyway you said so yourself that chances are-"

"Exactly, chances not certainty, plus it's a bit dark."

"Right, so what about the other two?" He sunk down onto the floor next to her. Decorating Jackie's spare room was taking a lot longer than he'd ever thought possible considering it was pretty small. Mainly because Jackie wanted absolutely everything perfect.

"Well there's quite a bit of lilac through this one," she held up the elephant border. "Which is a bit girly-"

His groan interrupted her. "You have no idea how much I wish we'd just found out the sex now."

"Don't you like the idea of a surprise? Not to mention the challenge of picking stuff out?"

"Nope," he replied. "Would much rather just be getting on with the decorating itself and we've still to pick a bloody paint colour."

"Once we've picked this then we can decide on the colour for the room. I think the teddy bears, what about you?"

He leaned over, examining them even though he knew he was just going to agree with her regardless. "Looks good," he told her. "Now what paint colour do you want?"

"Probably an off white," she told him. "The room's tiny so I want to keep it light but I want it to be a warmer colour than pure white."

Robbie let his head fall back against the wall before twisting it to the side to look at her. "There's more than one shade of white?" he asked wearily.

"Uh huh." She grinned over at him. "You're hating this, aren't you?"

"Not hating it exactly," he tried to tell her. "Just want to get on with it, we don't get many days free at the moment to get it done."

"That's why we decided to start now, remember?"

"Mmph," he mumbled. "I suppose if we pick the colour today then I can get the base coat done tonight."

"Easily," she assured him.

"Good. So you got your bag packed?"

Jackie glanced over at him, a slight frown playing about her features. "I wasn't going to pack my hospital bag until about a month before, that's what the midwife recommended."

Robbie shook his head. "Not what I meant," he assured her before she started to worry about the possibility of early labour. "Meant for tonight and tomorrow night, I think you should stay at mine until the room's been aired, don't want you any where near all those paint fumes, can't be good for him…them."

"If I shut the door then-"

"No," he interrupted. "Unlike everything else you're not getting a choice in this one, get a bag packed."

"Pulling rank are we?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

He laughed, leaning in to kiss her as he replied, "If that's what I have to do…"

"Right well help me up," she told him. "And I'll go do that."

"Good, I drop you off at my flat on the way back from buying all the supplies."

"You can't be serious?" she asked. "You're seriously going to kick me out while you paint as well?"

"Definitely," he replied decisively. "In fact pack a bag for three nights, want to make sure all the fumes are gone before you get back."

She rolled her eyes but didn't argue, merely shook her head as she decided that it would just be quicker and easier to go along with it.

* * *

><p>"Screw B goes into slot A which attaches to Bracket 3." Robbie stared at the bits of wood that lay scattered about Jackie's carpet. "It's like a fucking riddle, thought we were putting together a cot, not a space shuttle."<p>

Jackie laughed, leaning back against the wall as she waggled her fingers, indicating that he should hand over the instructions. She frowned as she read them over and finally replied, "Ok, it is overly complicated."

"Hmmm, we might need to get Stuart in to help us out."

This laugh was deeper and more uncontrolled. "If you call him for this then he'll never let you live it down, and on the brightside you have another seven weeks to figure it out and since I'm carrying your offspring I hope for their sake that you can figure it out before then."

"Or since you're so confident I could always make you do it."

She shook her head, a smirk playing about her lips as she replied, "Oh no, you've already told me that you don't want me doing anything strenuous, so you can't have it all ways. Plus I think my bump would get in the way."

He grumbled in lieu of a reply and then gave a loud yelp as he nipped his skin as he tried to wedge two bits together with no success. "From now on everything else we buy has to come pre-built."

"Deal," she agreed easily as she studied the instructions, looking for an easier way to put the cot together. Looking up she finally said awkwardly, "We haven't really talked about what baby paraphernalia you think we need one of in your flat as well as in here."

He glanced up at her and she saw his Adam's apple bob nervously as he swallowed heavily and then he coughed uncomfortably before finally replying, "You know I want to be as involved as possible with this baby, but my second bedroom's always been Jamie's room and he already hates this idea, I just feel like changing anything in there would be like pushing him out."

Jackie felt herself relax at his explanation and she smiled softly at him. "I can understand that and you don't need to even touch that room, that isn't what I meant and I certainly didn't expect it. But we swap between two flats, we're going to need another cot at least, we can always put it in your room."

He nodded, his fingers tapping against the soft carpeting of the floor. "You think that's the best thing for us? For the baby?"

Again she met his gaze, confusion evident in her brown eyes. "Why? What else did you have in mind?"

"I know you've already said you don't want to move somewhere bigger until after the baby's born, and I don't want to give up my flat quite yet, mainly for Jamie's sake, but I want us to live together, full time, be a proper family."

A smile tugged at her lips once more. "You're asking me if you can move in?"

"Pretty much," he admitted. "Although the way it came out sounded better in my head."

"It wasn't the most impressive," she admitted, laughing. Shuffling forward, slightly awkwardly, she moved to his side. "But I don't need fancy statements, I'd like us to give that a try."

"You know I'm not just asking because of the baby, I love you and I'm never happier than when I'm with you. And if we decide to move somewhere bigger-"

"Oh we will be," she assured him. "Want our kid to have a garden to play in."

He grinned. "Well when we move I'd like us to have a third bedroom in case Jamie ever decides he wants to stay."

She nodded. "That's a good idea…so when do you want to move in."

Sliding his arm around her, Robbie replied, "How about tonight?"

"You're not hanging around, are you?"

"I think we 'hung around' for long enough, don't you."

"Oh definitely," she replied. "Although either way you're still not getting out of building this cot."

"Slave driver."


	19. Chapter 19

**August**

Robbie stared at the phone, the dial tone echoing in his ears. He swallowed heavily as he slowly placed the phone back in its cradle.

"I take it that it didn't go down well?" Jackie asked softly from behind him.

He turned to see her in the doorway, and shook his head. "Nah, he wasn't interested, even when I told him that I was keeping the flat so he had a room until we decided to move somewhere bigger, that we'd stay there when he came to visit. Even offered to pay his flight but still got nothing."

Jackie moved closer to him, leaning her head against his shoulder as she rubbed his arm comfortingly. "I'm sorry, Robbie."

"Not your fault, it's mine, maybe if I paid more attention to Jamie when he was younger he wouldn't feel like this now."

"He's a teenager, and he's angry and hurt just now," she told him. "If you keep making the effort then sooner or later he'll realise that this baby doesn't change the fact that you want to see him."

"Feel like I'm banging my head up against a brick wall," he muttered.

"I think you should still keep trying though."

Finally he nodded. "Yeah, you're right and I will, just wish it wasn't so hard."

"Nothing good ever came easy."

"That's true, I mean look at us." He grinned for the first time since he'd came off the phone. "Took me years to convince you."

"You don't seriously count all the crap you've pulled over the years as 'convincing' me, do you?" she laughed.

"Maybe not all of it," he admitted. "But definitely some of it, especially in the early days."

"Even most of that was warped," she told him.

"But I have you now," he replied cockily.

"That's what you think," she laughed, leaning up on her tip toes so she could kiss him, her bump pressing into him. Pulling back slightly, she commented, "That is getting more and more difficult, and I look like I've shoved a basketball up my top."

"If we ignore the fact that a basketball can't kick."

"I never thought I'd get as big as this, kinda hoped for a neat little bump."

"I think that ship might have sailed."

She slapped his arm. "Ass. You know the midwife measured it today and it was 38cm."

"I don't know what that means."

Jackie rolled her eyes. "Roughly your bump should be 1cm per week of your pregnancy, so I'm three over, which isn't a massive amount, but she says going from my bump and from the 20 week scan she thinks that the baby could be quite big, possibly close to nine pounds if I go full term."

"That's good though, right?" He asked, looking both confused and concerned at the same time.

"Not when you're the one who has to push it out."

"Ah so this is more about the birth than the actually size of the baby," Robbie laughed. He hugged her closer, assuring her, "Don't worry about it too much, it'll be fine."

"Easy for you to say," she grumbled.

Resting his hand on her bump, he asked her, "You do know that if I could have been there today-"

"I know," she interrupted. "But believe me you're not missing anything interesting, she takes my blood pressure and we talk about the birth."

"And your blood pressure and everything is alright?"

"A woman half my age would be proud of it," she told him. "Now come on, I'm absolutely starving and you promised to take me out for dinner. We can talk more about Jamie while we eat."

He nodded. "Although as much as I hate to admit it, you're right, I need to keep trying, no matter how long it takes."

* * *

><p>Jackie frowned, leaning forward sucking in a deep breath as she leaned forward, her hand on her stomach. She checked her watch, not noticing that Robbie has stepped into the living room.<p>

"What's wrong?" he asked hurriedly.

She looked up and on seeing his wide, panicked eyes, told him, "Nothing, another Braxton hicks."

"I've never seen you check your watch before during one of those…things."

"Braxton hicks," she told him. "Which is a practice contraction, emphasis on the word practice."

"So why are you checking your watch?" he persisted.

Jackie sucked her bottom lip in-between her teeth, he always was good at interrogation, she'd just never been on the other side before. "Fine," she admitted grudgingly. "They're a bit stronger than usual and they've been more frequent today."

His face paled, his jaw slackening slightly as he stared at her. "You're in labour," he stated, looking almost manically around the room. "Shit, shit shit!"

"Robbie, I'm pretty sure these are still just Braxton hicks."

He shook his head, telling her hurriedly, "No they said if you were less than 37 weeks then it was better to be safe than sorry, and you're only 35." He patted down his pocket. "Where the fuck did I put the car keys!"

"I don't think that I need to go to-" She cut off mid sentence when he dashed out the room, still ranting about the car keys. She rolled her eyes as he suddenly appeared back into the room, looking almost wild eyed.

"Found them," he told her. "Right come on we need to go." He moved to the side of her and tried to hurry her up.

"Robbie," she tried to argue. "I don't think I need to go into the hospital."

He wasn't listening, in fact if anything he was still trying to manoeuvre her out the door. "Exactly, think," he muttered to her. "I want us to be sure, now get in."

She looked up at him, and as much as she hated to admit it he did have a point, her contractions had been much more frequent today. After another moment of hesitation she nodded, conceding, "I suppose getting checked won't do any harm."

"Exactly, now get in the car."

They drove in near silence until they reached what was meant to be the turn off onto the main road, only to find it was shut from nine till six the next morning for road repairs. Swearing loudly, Robbie took the diversion route, only to start to obviously lose it when he then proceeded to lose his way.

"Bloody signposts are useless here."

"It doesn't matter," she told him calmly.

"Course it matters! How can you be so calm?"

"Because I haven't had a contraction since that one back at the flat and that was twenty five minutes ago. I'm not in labour."

He pulled the car over to the pavement so that he could stare at her, relief written all over his features. "You sure?"

"Positive," she replied. "True labour doesn't stop. I did try to tell you…"

His fingers tapped against the steering wheel, and for once he looked somewhat uncertain. "So we just go back home then?"

"That's probably the best idea."

"Right," he nodded dazedly. "I'll just turn the car round then.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He disappeared almost the second they arrived back in the flat, she went to get herself a drink and when she waddled - because that was about all she was capable of now - back into the living room he was nowhere to be seen.

She knew he hadn't left because she would have heard the front door opening and closing. She checked the bedroom and bathroom before heading for the baby's room, which was where she found him, sitting on the window seat, staring at his hands.

"Are you alright?" she asked, moving slowly closer to him.

"Fine," he croaked, sounding anything but. "Just thinking."

Sitting down next to him, she shifted, trying to get comfortable. "About anything in particular?"

"I honestly thought that tonight was it," he told her. "And I realised that I don't think I'm ready for this."

"Robbie I don't think we'll ever be ready for this," she told him.

"Jacks, I lost it because I couldn't find the car keys."

She laughed at that, she couldn't help herself. "True, but on the bright-side when you ran out the door this time at least you took me with you, that's a definite improvement." When he stayed silent, she told him, "I don't expect you to know everything."

He rubbed tiredly at his forehead. "I know that, I do. And I've not changed my mind about us having the baby…well about being involved." He looked around the nursery, his eyes focussing on the warm room, he could imagine Jackie in here with the baby, see her tucking them into the cot. The image provoked a small smile, he did like the thought of that he had to admit. "I am looking forward to the baby now, it's just the thought of all the-"

"Stress? Strain?" she offered.

"Pretty much. Tonight just made it feel real, made me realise how close we're getting to having the baby here with us. How much we still have to do."

"I thought we were pretty organised, we've got clothes, a baby monitor, pram, car seat, bouncy seat, bottles and sterilizer in case I can't breastfeed, towels. I mean we need nappies but-"

"I meant more like names," he interrupted, before she reeled off everything they'd bought. He knew she hated the idea of not being entirely prepared. "We haven't really had the chance to talk to about that."

"No, we haven't," she admitted, looking slightly shifty as she did so.

He shot her a look but continued regardless, asking, "So do you have a gut feeling? Girl or boy?"

"Boy," she admitted reluctantly. Shaking her head when she saw that he was grinning triumphantly. "We could still both be wrong," she added hurriedly.

"I don't think we are, so we should pick a boy's name first, or at least have a couple we want to pick fr-" He took in the fact that she'd averted her eyes and he frowned, asking, "What?"

"I kind of already picked a boy's name," she admitted reluctantly.

He laughed slightly disbelievingly. "Are you kidding me? You picked the kid's name without me."

"We don't know for certain that it is a boy, and anyway I don't like that many names, it kind of narrowed it down a lot."

"You never thought to mention it though, meaning you felt guilty."

"Not guilty…" She sighed and then told him, "Ok, so you tell me what names you like and then I'll tell you the name I like."

"Lewis-"

"I like it but I don't think I like Lewis with Ross as a surname."

He looked at her, surprise written all over his features. "We're going with Ross?"

"Of course," she replied, looking at him in disbelief. "I mean I know we're not married but I still think they should have your name."

"Very traditional of you."

"I know," she wrinkled her nose thoughtfully. "Who would have thought?"

"Ok, so back to names, Callum, Aaron…" He looked at her expression and sighed, telling her, "Just tell me the name you've picked, if I like it then we can stick to it."

She smiled. "Andrew Michael Ross."

His finger tapped against his leg as he replied, "I don't like it."

Her face fell. "What? Why? It goes, it's not to old fashioned and it's not one of those stupid sounding modern ones."

"I'm fine with using Mike as a middle name, but I just don't like the name Andrew."

"What about Christopher?"

"No. Mark?"

"Mark Michael? God no. Luke?"

He pulled a face. "Eh." He shrugged dismissively.

She sighed irritably. "Maybe we should drop this before I hit you with the cuddly toys."

"Shouldn't we talk about girl's names?"

"Tomorrow," she yawned, still frowning. "Once I'm less bitter." She smiled to show that she was joking. "Come on, we've had a long night already and we both have to work tomorrow." She held her hand out to him, needing his help to get to her feet. "Do you feel better now?"

"A bit," he admitted. "Although we need to have a spot for the car keys from now on."


	20. Chapter 20

**September 8th**

"No baby yet then?" Stuart asked when Robbie arrived in the office, glugging down a cup of coffee.

Robbie looked up at him in disbelief. "No she's had it and I've left it in the car," he commented sarcastically, then mumbling, "Idiot," as a slightly delayed afterthought.

Stuart rolled his eyes. "Just asking. How is Jackie coping with being on leave?"

Looking through the sheaf of notes on his desk, he shrugged, replying, "In the three days she's been off she's managed to clean the entire flat and has even taking up cooking, it's…strange."

"Probably just bored, bet she's desperate to finally have the baby, do you have any idea when it'll be?"

"No idea at all, she's seeing the midwife today again."

"Can't believe that you two are going to be parents," Stuart commented, shaking his head slightly.

"I'm already a parent, Stuart," Robbie pointed out.

"I meant to the same kid."

This time he didn't reply, instead he switched on his pc and leaned back in his chair, thinking. He couldn't believe that he was about to be a father again, that it could happen anytime in the next two weeks. He kept finding himself looking into the baby's room, both excited and absolutely terrified by the prospect of knowing that sooner rather than later the baby would be in there.

Robbie took another mouthful of coffee, tapping his fingers against his desk as he wondered if he'd get the chance to call Jackie after her appointment today, find out if they had an ETA yet.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry I didn't call earlier," Robbie apologized, wrapping his arms around Jackie as he moved behind her. "Was stuck in that interview room for hours." He kissed her cheek. "You have no idea how much I miss you at work."<p>

"You have no idea how much I miss work," she laughed. "I have nothing left to do in this flat."

"How about relaxing?" he suggested.

"I think I've forgotten how to," she told him. "Oh and don't worry about calling, if I need you I know how to get you."

"They say anything today?" he asked slightly anxiously.

Jackie shook her head. "Not much, baby's still in the right position but nothing's happened yet, so they did a membrane sweep to try and hurry things along."

"A what?"

She tilted her head back so she could look at him, and he could see the amusement in her eyes as she replied, "Believe me you don't want to know, you'll just start pulling faces."

"You're probably right." He pulled a face just at the name of it.

"Just like that," she laughed, pointing at the expression on his face.

"It just doesn't sound…pleasant."

"Well I wouldn't rush to have another one, but it wasn't awful."

He glanced down at her bump. "So did it work?"

She rubbed her hand across her swollen stomach and shrugged. "Nothing yet, but it can take up to 48 hours to work, if not then they'll try it again next week, wait another 5 days and then induce me if that fails and nothing happens."

"Do they think that's what they'll need to do?"

"Bit too early to tell. I hope not though, I want to have this baby now, I'm so tired of being pregnant, I want to see my feet, I want to be able to bend over. Or go a whole hour without peeing."

"What a wonderful image you've painted."

Jackie shook her head, although her mouth was twitching with a smile that she was very obviously trying to hold back. "That image is your fault."

"You can keep saying that but I don't remember you remembering protection that first night either," he told her, smirking triumphantly.

"At least I remembered it the next time," she pointed out.

"Horse had kinda bolted by that point."

"We didn't know that, and anyway I'm the one suffering so really you should take the blame, I have enough to deal with."

"You're not suffering," Robbie scoffed.

"Well since you think it's so easy why don't you try it," she retorted. "See if you like having what feels like bowling ball bouncing around inside you and treats your bladder like a squeeze toy. Or if you like not being able to fit behind the steering wheel, or the backache-"

"Woah," Robbie interrupted, holding up his hand. "I was kidding, didn't think it would turn into an argument."

Jackie rubbed at her forehead. "I know, sorry, it's all these hormones and I'm just so uncomfortable it's unbelievable. I just want to have the baby now, to see them and to see my feet again."

He laughed lightly, pulling her close to him again and kissing her forehead. "I know, but it really won't be long and then we won't get any peace for the next eighteen years."

"Exactly what part of that was supposed to make me feel better?" she asked, frowning up at him.

* * *

><p><strong>September 12<strong>**th**

Yawning, Robbie dropped his keys into the bowl on the side table in the hall, shrugging off his suit jacket as he headed into the living room. Jackie was sitting on the sofa, her feet up as she tucked into what looked like a bowl of pineapple. "Craving?" he asked.

"Surprisingly not," she replied easily.

"Health kick then?" He lifted her legs and sat on the sofa before resting them back down across his knees and leaning back into the sofa, watching her in amusement.

"Again no, pineapple's meant to induce labour so I thought it was worth a try."

He eyed her carefully. "Are you really telling me that you've resorted to listening to old wives tales?"

She sighed, resting the bowl on her sizable bump as she replied, "Yes, I truly am that desperate, I'm four days overdue and fed up. And lets face it those old wives tales are a lot more pleasant than another one of those sweeps."

Leaning over he pinched a bit of pineapple, ignoring her glare. "I still don't know what that is."

"You still don't want to," she assured him. "Anyway the baby has to come out some time, and I'd rather it was sooner rather than later."

All of a sudden the baby kicked and Robbie's eyebrows shot up into his forehead as said kick upset the bowl and Jackie only just managed to catch it before it tipped. "That's the third time today that they've done that, it was the TV remote earlier," she remarked casually.

He chuckled. "That was kind of impressive."

She laughed at the expression on his face. "I don't think they appreciate being used as a table."

"Hmmm, very few do," he commented in amusement. "So we're eating pineapple, is there anything else that you're planning to do?"

"Well I've decided we're going to have Indian for dinner tonight, and I'm going to have the hottest curry they have. Then tonight we're having sex."

Robbie choked slightly on the piece of pineapple he'd sneaked out of the bowl while she was talking. "Sorry, not used to you being quite as blunt as that."

She eyed him almost warily. "Do you not want to-"

"Jacks, you don't need to worry on that score, I just wasn't expecting an announcement about it," he told her, laughing. He rubbed at her ankle before asking her, "You want me to go and pick up dinner? Because I dunno about you but I'm starving."

Jackie nodded, leaning over so she could place the bowl on the coffee table. "Sounds good, I'll have lamb."

"You sure you want the hottest they've got?"

"Positive," she replied decisively.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe that you were able to eat all of that," Robbie commented, watching as Jackie drained yet another glass of milk. He found her determination to kick-start labour amusing, whenever Jackie was determined enough she didn't let anything get in her way. It'd be ironic, he mused, if the baby was just as determined to stay in there.<p>

"It wasn't actually as bad as I thought it was going to be," she told him. "And if it works then even better. How was yours?"

"Good, especially considering I didn't get much of a say in what we were eating tonight." He laughed as she dug her finger lightly into his ribs in retaliation to that remark.

"You know you could have got something else for yourself, you were the one who went out to get it," she pointed out.

"That's a lot of effort."

"My heart bleeds," she teased. "I would have went myself but there's that whole 'can't fit behind the steering wheel' thing."

"Such a poor excuse," he tutted.

"And yet I'm still sticking to it," she grinned. Getting to her feet with some difficulty, she added, "I'm going to get ready for bed."

A cocky smirk played about his lips as he asked, "Are you going to slip into something sexy?"

"You're overlooking the fact that slipping into anything other than a tent is out of the question for me at the moment," Jackie laughed.

"Ah well, I'll settle for you wearing nothing at all then."

"Oh so generous of you," she laughed over her shoulder as she left the room.

* * *

><p><strong>September 13<strong>**th**

"You look knackered," Burke commented as he passed by Robbie's desk.

Robbie blinked quickly a couple of times. "I'm fine," he replied, stifling a yawn. Truth be told though he was shattered, he'd been up most of the night with Jackie - not that that had been a chore in any way shape or form - and as a result all he wanted to do was curl up and sleep. He'd been so jealous of Jackie this morning when she'd been sleeping, all curled up warm in bed, he'd honestly wanted nothing more than to stay in there with her. Possibly have another round of sex after he'd recovered from the last bout. But no, instead he was here; working.

"Any sign of the kid yet?"

"Nope, and I think Jackie's at the end of her rope with bein' pregnant."

Burke laughed. "I remember my wife when she was pregnant, went two days over her due date and that was bad enough. Made me drive her down this old bumpy, country road."

Robbie smiled at the older man, it wasn't very often that Burke shared something about his personal life, he'd known he'd had a wife and son but that had been it. "Did it work?"

"She said it did, went into labour an hour or so later. I think that if they don't want to come out then none of that stuff's going to work until they're good and ready."

"I don't think she'll accept that as an answer."

"Nah," he laughed, "They never do."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was a contraction that woke Jackie that morning. She sat up slowly, a contraction first thing in the morning wasn't unusual, but this one felt different. It wasn't just relegated to her bump, instead it seemed to radiate from her back and round.

Still she wasn't about to get her hopes up too much, it could still be a Braxton hicks, she'd check her hospital bag just in case but apart from that she decided relaxing and just keeping an eye on things was the way to go.

As for calling Robbie, she was definitely leaving that until she was sure, this could take hours and she wasn't about to panic him when there might be no need yet.

Getting showered and dressed, she checked that everything for the baby was ready before sitting down and indulging in some truly awful mid morning TV, mainly chat shows, where a lot of people yelled at each other. Too be honest she wouldn't have been too surprised if someone she'd once arrested turned up on one of these things.

By lunchtime they were more painful, and coming regularly at eight minutes apart. Sitting was just uncomfortable now, so instead she was standing in the kitchen, bracing her hands against the counter and rocking herself back and forward.

She bit down on her bottom lip, as another contraction hit her. Looking down at her watch, she frowned when she saw it had only been five minutes since her last one. Shaking her head she decided that it had to be a mistake with her timing.

Then the next one came at four and a half minutes. Feeling herself start to panic slightly, Jackie reached for the phone, which she'd left on the kitchen counter. Breathing deeply as she waited for him to pick up, she told herself that it was fine, her waters hadn't broken, Therefore everything was fine and they still had plenty of time.

Robbie answered the phone after a couple of rings, answering casually, "DI Ross."

"I need you to come home," she told him hurriedly. "I think this is it."

"What? Are you sure?" he asked, and already Jackie could hear the vague note of panic in his voice.

She took a deep breath, trying to keep her voice steady in an effort to keep him calm. "It's fine, my waters haven't broken yet so just stay calm."

"I'm calm," he told her, his voice very slightly higher than usual. "I'll be there as quick as I can be." As she went to hang up the phone, she heard him mutter panicky, "Has anyone seen my car keys?"

Shaking her head, she hung up the phone, moaning under her breath as another contraction hit her. She definitely wasn't imagining things, the contractions were definitely getting stronger and God it hurt.

She was still standing at the counter by the time that Robbie came racing through the door just over twenty minutes later, wide eyed and obviously panicked. "Fuck," he muttered when he saw her, rocking back and forward in the middle of a contraction, still moaning.

Normally she would have told him that everything was fine, but she couldn't seem to talk in the middle of the contraction anymore. All she seemed to be able to do was moan.

He moved to her side, hands moving to her lower back, rubbing it soothingly. "You should have phoned me sooner," he muttered, chastising her slightly.

When it was finally over she turned her head slightly so that she could look at him. "It wasn't that bad earlier," she told him breathlessly. "It just seems to have suddenly picked up. I need you to grab my bag, it's in the bedroom."

Robbie nodded, racing off and appearing with it only seconds later. "Right, lets go," he told her, slinging the bag over his shoulder and edging her towards the front door, which was still wide open.

Another contraction hit as she got out into the hall. "Stop," she told him firmly, gripping onto hand, trying to remember the breathing techniques she'd learned as she braced her other hand against the wall.

Looking at her, Robbie tried desperately not to panic, he knew that it wouldn't do anybody any good if he panicked, but everything seemed to have started so quickly that he was having trouble with the whole thing. The last thing he wanted to do was have to deliver this baby on his own and outside the safety of a hospital.

Finally she straightened. "I'm fine," she told him firmly. "Lets just keep going."

"Well no offence but there's no way in hell that we're hanging about here," he told her.

Despite the panic in his tone, Jackie laughed under her breath. "You mean you're telling me now that you don't like the idea of a home birth?"

"Nope," he grinned at her. "I like the idea of hospitals where we're surrounded by people who know what they're doing."

"Oh that sounds like a definite plan," she breathed out.

He ushered her quickly into the car, before rushing round to the other side. As they drove to the hospital, he watched as she braced her hands against the dashboard as she struggled through another obviously strong contraction.

"I've changed my mind," she told him after that one, her eyes suddenly wide as she turned to look at him, her face flushed.

"About what?" he asked, confused and slightly worried by the look in her brown eyes.

"Having the baby today, I should never have been so impatient to do this. I mean we're about to have a baby!" She swallowed heavily and shook her head, her voice wavering in alarm. "What the hell are we thinking! Why didn't we use a condom? I mean we're in our fucking forties and God knows how many relationships we've had combined! You'd think we'd have bloody well have considered the fact that birth control might have been a good idea." She turned to look at him again and told him, "I mean it, I can't do this. I know nothing about kids and even less about newborns-"

Reaching across he squeezed her hand and interrupted her rant. "Jacks, you're in pain and I think that might be making you a bit irrational. You are goin' to be an amazing mum, seriously this kid is goin' to be lucky to have you. And once you hold our baby for the first time you'll forget all about this part, it'll all be worth it."

She nodded, her eyes damp. "You sure?"

"Positive."

She let out a shaky breath. "Thank you," she got out, before wincing again as yet another contraction hit her. By the time they got to the hospital, the contractions were only three minutes apart.

As she got out the car, she paused as she felt something ping and then felt water start to trickle down her legs. "Oh God," she muttered, staring up at Robbie in horror. "I think that my waters just-"

"Yeah I kind of got that," he replied, staring down at the small puddle on the ground. "Just stay there and I'll grab a chair, we're not hanging around now 'cause it looks like this kid's just as impatient as I am."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After that, things went far too quickly for Robbie's liking. By the time they got up to the maternity ward, Jackie didn't seem to have any breaks between the contractions. And from almost the moment that they got into the room, everything started to blur for him.

He was undeniably thankful for the fact that Jackie had given him strict instructions as in regards to the fact that he was stay up at her head, but apart from that he was pretty much clueless.

The midwife straightened her back and shot them a sunny smile, looking confident, which definitely helped them both feel better. Well up until the point she told them, "Looks like you two got here just in time, baby's crowning, you can start pushing on the next contraction."

"What?" Robbie echoed, sharing a dazed look with Jackie.

"Your little one is obviously in a rush to get here today. So Jackie I suggest you get ready to push."

"Ok," she nodded, still looking slightly shocked by this turn of events, but pushing herself up slightly so that she was more comfortable.

The midwife nodded towards Robbie, telling him, "If you want you can move round so that you're supporting her back."

He moved and did as she'd told without thinking, he couldn't seem to get his brain in gear, this was all going far too fast for him.

He felt Jackie grip his hand and moan as she started pushing. He rubbed his other hand over her back and leaned in so that his face was next to hers.

"Good," he heard the midwife say. "Just a few more pushes, keep going."

Robbie wanted to run, but at the same time he didn't want to leave Jackie to go through this on her own. He'd thought this would take longer, hours even. Thought they'd have time to get their heads around the birth during it, didn't think they'd be thrown in the deep end like this.

It was at that thought that he heard Jackie cry out, and then he heard the high pitched wail of a baby, and saw the midwife pick up a squirming, gunk covered bundle and place it onto Jackie's stomach, rubbing them down firmly with a towel.

"Are they ok?" he heard Jackie ask, her voice thick with emotion.

"Your little girl is perfect," she told them, smiling as she moved the baby onto Jackie's chest, encouraging her to reach down and hold her.

"A girl," he echoed hoarsely as he looked down at the baby who had caused so much havoc over the last nine months.

They baby's wails died off slightly and snuffling she opened blue eyes and it appeared as though she was staring up at them. She was perfect, unmarked with some dark hair covering her head - not a mop, but she certainly wasn't bald - and she was just perfect.

Jackie laughed as she stroked her finger over her daughter's hand and the baby grabbed it, holding it firmly in her tiny grasp. She'd never felt such an intense rush of love before, it was instant and she couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from the baby. Bringing the baby up closer to her, she looked into those blue eyes and felt herself fall even deeper in love - if that was even possible.

She looked up at Robbie with watery eyes. "She's amazing," she told him. "And you were right, it was worth it."

He smiled, reaching out gingerly to run the tips of his fingers over the damp strands of the baby's dark hair. "A little girl," he mumbled in wonderment.

Jackie tilted her face to look at him. "Are you ok with this? I know you thought that-"

"I'm fine with this," he interrupted. "More than fine." He kissed Jackie firmly, smiling against her lips before pulling back and telling her, "She's incredible, Jacks."

"Can I weigh her," the midwife asked them gently as they lapsed into silence. "Clean her up a bit more as well?"

"Sure," Jackie replied, although she was still reluctant at actually handing her daughter over.

"I'll go with her," Robbie assured her, lingering as close to the midwife as he could as she placed the baby onto the scales and checked her over. While Jackie watched carefully from the bed

As she rubbed the baby off some more, she started to shriek again, limbs flailing in protest. "Oh dear," the midwife cooed at her. "We're not liking this at all, are we. I think we'll get you back to your Mum and Dad." She wrapped her into the blanket and turning to Robbie, asked, "Do you want to take her back over?"

Reaching out, Robbie took the crying bundle into his arms and smiled at the weight of her, feeling a rush of protective love flood through him. It was the same as he'd felt with Jamie, but yet different in a way, it was strange and indescribable.

"It wasn't that bad," he told his daughter. "And anyway it's all over now, and I'm going to take you back over to your Mum."

Her cries started to fade off at his words, at the familiarity of his voice and the warmth from his arms. He moved over to Jackie and passed her gently over to her. Jackie smiled up at him. "She always did recognize her Dad's voice."

They shared a grin. The midwife simply smiled and told them, "She's a good size, 8lbs 9 and everything is perfect with her. Now does she have a name?"

"No," Robbie replied, shaking his head. "Not yet."

"So I'll just put Baby Girl Reid on her name-band then?"

"It's going to be Ross for her surname," Jackie corrected her easily, catching sight of Robbie's smile as he leaned over her and traced his hand over the baby's waving arm.

"Ok then." The woman leaned over and fixed the band around the baby's wrist. "Do you want to try feeding her?"

"Uh huh," Jackie nodded, shifting as the midwife helped her position the baby's head properly. She latched on quickly, her eyes closing and her fingers curling into her tiny hand as she fed. Once that was done, the woman slipped out of the room, leaving the two new parents alone with their new baby daughter.

Robbie stared down at Jackie and their daughter and realised that in that moment he didn't feel any panic, he just felt happy.


	21. Chapter 21

"She needs a name," Jackie said quietly, just after the midwife had slipped out the room, her eyes not lifting off her daughter's face as she fed quietly, her eyes closed. "She can't stay Baby Girl Ross forever."

"Dunno, it does have a certain ring to it," he replied, a smile playing about his lips as he reached out, his finger stroking down her downy soft cheek nervously, not wanting to disturb her but at the same time desperate to be in some sort of contact with her. "Plus we never really got round to talking about girls names."

"I know, I hope all that boy talk hasn't given her a complex."

"Nah, she looks fine with it all."

Jackie tilted her head so that she could look up at him. "And you're not disappointed?" she asked, a tinge of anxiety in her voice. "You were so convinced..."

"I'm not disappointed," he assured her. "I meant it when I said I didn't mind one way or the other. I think I just assumed that because I had one boy it would be another one this time round as well."

"I kind of wondered if you were so convinced because that's what you secretly wanted, another boy," she replied.

"Well like I said, I didn't care. And now I have the most gorgeous daughter, how could I possibly be disappointed?" He leaned over and kissed her cheek. Jackie smiled and turned her head, her lips meeting his for a brief second. "So," he asked after a moment of contemplative silence. "Do you have any names in mind?"

"I quite like Sarah," she told him, and on seeing the expression on his face asked darkly, "What? What's wrong with the name?"

"I…uh dated a Sarah once, complete lunatic."

Jackie sighed, rolling her eyes as she replied, "If we discount the names of every woman you've had sex with then we might not have names left."

He laughed. "It doesn't actually strike out that many."

"Because you can't remember half their names?" she asked sweetly.

"Oh ha bloody ha."

"That was a yes, wasn't it?"

"You know I thought that motherhood might mellow you," he commented.

"Bet you're glad it hasn't," she teased.

"Oh definitely."

Their attention was briefly pulled away when the baby pulled away, obviously finished feeding and started making small snuffling noises, that started to border on a soft cry. "Do you want to burp her?" Jackie asked, well aware that she was inadvertently hogging their daughter, and the last thing she wanted to do was make Robbie feel as though she was shutting him out.

He nodded, his eyes lighting up as Jackie passed her over. He manoeuvred a bit of the towel so that it was over his shoulder, and began rubbing and patting at her back, murmuring comfortingly to her as he did so.

Jackie smiled as she watched him, he said he was an awful father, but so far she had yet to see that side to him. She thought he just needed more confidence, time to build up a proper bond and some encouragement to do so.

The baby's whimpers stopped, she and turned her head slightly, into Robbie's neck. "She's a Daddy's girl already," Jackie commented.

He grinned over at her, looking undeniably proud at his baby daughter's reaction to him. "Can't get over how perfect she is." He moved her back from him slightly, so that he could look at her face, could see her eyes focussing on him, watching him. "We did good."

"We did," she almost whispered in reply.

Robbie sat down on the side of the bed, watching as Jackie shifted, resting herself slightly against his side so that she could see the baby. Reaching out she placed her finger back into her palm, her smile widening when she grabbed at it again. "How are you feeling?" Robbie asked.

"Better than I ever thought possible," she replied. "I just can't believe she's finally here with us."

He laughed. "I know, but should you not be exhausted?"

"Probably will be when all the adrenaline wears off."

The baby's head turned in the direction of Jackie's voice when she spoke, causing Robbie to comment. "She knows your voice as well."

"Well the poor thing has had to listen to it for nine months."

"And those four extra days."

"Five technically."

"Always so picky."

"I prefer to think of it as accurate."

The room door creaked open and the midwife stepped slowly inside, smiling at them as she asked, "How are we getting on?"

"Fine," Jackie replied. "She fed without any problems."

"And you burped her?"

"Robbie did, yes."

"Looks like you two are naturals," the woman smiled at them. "Now is it ok if I take the little one away for a bath, and to do some more routine checks? Dad can come too and it'll give you a chance to rest."

Jackie looked down at her daughter, who was staring back at her, suddenly reluctant to let her out of her sight. She looked over at Robbie, who told her reassuringly, "I'll go with her, won't leave her alone for a second, promise."

Finally she nodded. "Of course you can."

She watched as Robbie passed the baby to the midwife, who placed her into a small plastic basinet on wheels and tucked a small blanket around her. The woman looked up at Robbie and told him, "It might be a good idea if you bring a nappy and one of her baby-grows and then we can change her along there."

Robbie nodded, picking up a simple, plain white suit and folding it over his arm, the nappy gripped in his hand.

Jackie peered over the cot side and asked anxiously, "Is she going to be warm enough?"

The midwife nodded, her smile not so much as faltering. "She will be, the corridor is quite warm and it's not a long walk. Now you should try and rest, because she'll be wanting fed again in the next few hours, so get some sleep while you can," she encouraged her firmly.

"She has a point, Jacks," Robbie chimed in. "It's been one hell of a day already."

Jackie glanced up at the clock and was surprised to see that it was only just before three in the afternoon, it felt like it should be so much later than that. "I suppose so," she mumbled grudgingly, wincing slightly as she settled back into the bed.

Grinning, Robbie leaned over her, kissing her chastely before pulling the bed sheet slightly tighter around her as he said, "She'll be fine, and we'll both be back before you know it. Now try and sleep, ok?"

"Ok," she replied, smiling at his attentiveness reaching out and stroking her fingers across his jaw. "As long as you're with her then I know she'll be fine."

His grin widened as he finally stepped away from the bed, and traipsed after the midwife and the cot, and she could see him peering over the woman's shoulder, checking that their daughter was ok.

Laughing to herself, she leaned back against the pillows, suddenly feeling exhaustion sweep through her as the adrenaline that had been racing through her bloodstream suddenly disappeared. So shutting her eyes, she was asleep within minutes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Robbie hovered anxiously at the side of his daughter's plastic crib, not that she was bothered in any way shape or form. The only time she'd kicked up a fuss was when they'd pricked her heel, and he'd been immensely grateful that Jackie hadn't been there for that part. He waggled his fingers near to her face and watched as her eyes followed the movement.

"Now do you want to hold or wash?" The midwife asked him, checking the baby baths temperature with her elbow."

"Wash," Robbie replied unsurely. He didn't think that he'd be able to keep hold of her if she started squirming.

"Ok then." She lifted the little girl out of the basinet, holding her securely as she lowered her carefully into the water.

She screamed, her mouth wide open in protest as she cried the second she touched the water. Robbie jumped. "Is she ok?"

"She's fine, it's just a shock to their system, that's all. Now you saw me check the temperature with my elbow and that's how you should always do it. Do you have the sponge there?"

"Um yeah." He grabbed it, dipping it into the water and then stared at his still crying daughter, feeling completely overwhelmed.

"Now just wash her gently with it, for the first six weeks or so there's no need to use bubble bath, they don't need it, just a little bit of olive oil in the bath water to stop their skin from drying out. She also doesn't need a bath that often, just giver her a top and tails wash daily and a bath once a week at most, ok?"

He nodded, as he washed the baby, who still seemed completely unimpressed by the whole procedure. The older woman grinned over at him and told him reassuringly, "Just so you're prepared she's going to hate the next bit, you really do need to give her hair and head a wipe down. Just use the sponge and avoid her eyes."

She was right, the baby hated it, her arms and legs thrashing in distress. "Is it always going to be this bad?" Robbie asked.

"No, the first couple are difficult and tend to take two of you just because they squirm and people get nervous about trying to do everything. But once she's a little bit older then you can start to make it a bit more fun for her, or alternatively you can take her into the shower or bath with you. Babies seem to love the shower." She shrugged, "Possibly because the steam keeps them warm. Right I think we're done, so just grab the towel and flatten it across your arms and I'll pass her back to you."

"Ok." Robbie smiled as she passed the baby back into his arms, and he held her while the midwife dried her off. She was still crying and held her slightly closer, telling her, "You're alright, it's all over. We'll get you all wrapped up in a few minutes."

She started to calm down slightly, her cries falling to whimpers and Robbie felt his shoulders relax, the tension leaving him slightly at her reaction to him.

"Well she definitely recognises your voice," the midwife told him, smiling up at him reassuringly.

"Looks like it, doesn't it," he replied, beaming down at the baby proudly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jackie was fast asleep when they got back to the room, he smiled his thanks at the midwife as she wheeled the basinet over to Jackie's side and then slipped quietly out of the room.

Robbie glanced over the side at the sleeping baby, who was now neatly dressed in her white baby grow, her hands up at her head. He hadn't left her once, had barely taken his eyes off her in fact, and now he wasn't sure what he should be doing while they were both sleeping. He briefly considered phoning people, letting them know the good news, but again he didn't want to leave either one of them while they were asleep.

So instead he settled into the chair, and stifled a yawn. Within a few minutes he had joined them both in the land of nod, his chin resting on his chest as he snoozed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Jackie next woke, she saw that Robbie was fast asleep in the chair opposite and could hear her baby snuffling quietly, in the basinet next to her bed. Glancing up at the clock she saw she'd been asleep for just over two hours.

Sitting up, she leaned to the side and carefully scooped the little girl up into her arms. "Look at you," she told her. "All clean and dressed." She leaned forward, kissing her forehead before continuing, "Did you enjoy your bath?"

She got another snuffle in reply, the baby looking up at her, her mouth making small movements, as her snuffles started to turn into quiet whimpers. "You hungry?" Jackie asked, as she manoeuvred her into an easier position so that she could feed her.

She latched on instantly, the whimpers stopping. Jackie stared down at her, bringing her finger up so that she could wrap her tiny hand around it. She studied her daughter's tiny hand, memorising every detail. "I think we'll need to get you gloves so you don't scratch your face." She rubbed her thumb over the silky soft skin. "I can't believe that you're finally here. You know you caused us a lot of trouble already," she told the tiny little girl. "But I think that you were worth that, and you should know that now you'll be spoiled rotten by your Dad, and your Granddad, and all your aunts and uncles." Jackie lowered her head, kissing the baby's fingers. "Although you really do need a name…" She trailed off, looking at her thoughtfully.

Her attention was diverted however when Robbie jerked awake, giving a loud yawn and stretching his legs out in front of himself. He glanced over at her and grinned when he saw that she had the baby with her. "Feeding time already," he remarked.

"Uh huh, feel I should get used to it. So how did her bath go?"

"It was terrifying," he admitted. "She screamed and wriggled all the way through it, I'm telling you I'm glad we don't have to do that too often. Still at least we can pair up for that."

"Did it leave you exhausted?" she teased, nodding her head towards where he was still sprawled out in the high backed visitors chair.

He grinned, retorting, "Yeah that and the fact I was up all of last night trying to keep her mother happy."

"You should be grateful I did so, after all you won't be getting any for at least six weeks now," she told him.

The grin slid off his face. "Oh yeah," he mumbled. "I kinda forgot about that."

She laughed. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be kept too busy to even think about it."

Getting to his feet, Robbie shook as head as he moved over so that he could sit on the bed with them. "I think you underestimate just how much I want you," he replied, kissing her bare neck.

"Always a charmer." There was a moment of silence before she told him suddenly, "I've thought of another name."

"Let's hear it then," he encouraged her.

"Kaitlyn Elizabeth Ross," she told him. "So what do you think."

"I like it," he replied thoughtfully. "Could call her Katie for short."

"She's not even had the name two minutes and already you're shortening it," Jackie laughed.

"Ah but at least I agreed with it. She suits it, all of it."

"So we have a name for her then," she concluded happily.

"We do," Robbie confirmed, wrapping his arm around them both.

"Now we just need to phone everyone and tell them."

"I can do that," he assured her.

"They reckon I might get home later on."

"Good," he replied, absentmindedly stroking his hand over Kaitlyn's thin, downy soft hair.

Jackie tilted her head so that she could look at him, asking, "So are you ready for this then?"

"Definitely," he told her firmly, a smile pulling unbidden at his lips.


	22. Chapter 22

A high pitch, rending cry filled the dark bedroom, Jackie gave a soft groan, glancing up from her pillow at the neon green numbers of the digital clock and realised that it had been three hours since she'd last put Kaitlyn down and had crawled into her own bed, three hours was apparently good for a two week old; not that it felt it.

She sat up slowly, yawning and running her hands through her hair. Looking to her left she saw that Robbie was still sound asleep, not that that surprised her, while he usually woke up and kept her company during the night-time feeds, he was now back at work and exhausted. So she didn't mind that he slept on, after all it wasn't like he could catch up, and he had been more than attentive as it was.

Jackie got slowly to her feet and headed over to the small, white basinet, leaning over it to pick up her crying two week old daughter, comforting her quietly. "Come on sweetheart," she whispered. "It's not that bad, you'll get fed in a minute."

She sat back down on the bed, leaning back against her pillows, getting comfortable before bringing Kaitlyn to her breast and letting her latch on, the room quietening instantly. Jackie sighed, glancing over to where Robbie snored quietly on. She smiled down at her daughter. "Good girl, can't have you waking your Dad. He's had a hard day at work and needs his sleep."

Kaitlyn simply stared up at her, continuing to feed, her hand slowly curling and uncurling. Jackie's smile widened, she loved the quiet moments like this, when her daughter was awake and alert. She did slightly miss Robbie's company, but she didn't feel resentful in any way of his continued rest.

He'd been amazing the last few weeks, jumping in and doing anything and everything that he could to make her and Kaitlyn comfortable and happy. She still saw the occasionally flicker of doubt in his eyes, knew that he still worried about getting things wrong. And she also knew that he was afraid that he wasn't spending enough time with Kaitlyn, especially now that he was back at work, but it didn't worry her, because anyone who saw him cradling his daughter and soothing her whenever she got fractious, would instantly see that they both adored each other.

She recognized both their voices, and when she heard one of them, she'd look in the direction that they were coming from. Already most of her family, and Stuart had commented on it, in-between fussing over her, there was already no doubt in her mind that her daughter was going to be spoiled rotten. Her grandfather in particular was thrilled with his first Granddaughter, and she'd been told by her brother Alex that he was showing pictures of him to anyone who stood still in his vicinity for longer than a few seconds. Both his neighbours and the practice nurse he visited regularly for his blood pressure check had apparently been regaled with a long speech on the two week old's many achievements.

Jackie laughed under her breath at the thought of her normally quite dour father waxing lyrical and stroked her finger down her baby's cheek. "You have no idea how loved you really are," she told her. And it was true, after all she herself had pretty much given up on the idea of having children, but now that she was a mother and had her baby daughter cradled in her arms she couldn't imagine her not being here.

Kaitlyn's eyes fluttered shut, no longer suckling, so Jackie detached her carefully and covered herself back up. She brought the baby to her shoulder, picking up the small towel she'd laid by the bedside and placing it between the baby and her bare skin before rubbing Kaitlyn's back softly until she gave a quiet burp.

She was still sleeping when she lowered her back down from her shoulder, Jackie smiled and kissed the top of her downy soft head, making sure that she was secure in her arms before she got up and made her way back to the basinet. She placed her carefully down on her back, and tucked the sheet in at her waist, making sure that her head was turned slightly to the side.

For a moment she just stood and stared in wonderment at her little girl, watched as she brought her hands up to the side of her head, her tiny chest rising and falling gently. Finally she tore her eyes away and made her way back to the bed, and glancing up at the clock she realised that if she was lucky Kaitlyn would now sleep right through until when Robbie woke up.

* * *

><p>The insistent and somewhat shrill beeping of an alarm woke Robbie with a start at six am that same morning, he glanced to his right to see Jackie groaning her dismay into her pillow. He hit the bloody thing off before it could upset Kaitlyn, and sat up slowly, stretching as he did so.<p>

He stopped suddenly, twisted round so he could look at Jackie, who was sprawled across her pillow, sleepy brown eyes looking up at him. "Did Kaitlyn sleep through the night?" he asked hesitantly.

"Nope, woke up a couple of hours ago needing fed. She didn't wake you though so I decided just to let you sleep."

"Oh," his face fell. "You mean she cried and I slept through it?"

Jackie pulled herself into sitting position, somewhat perturbed by this turn of events. "You were exhausted last night, I wasn't that surprised that you slept through."

"You could have woken me, I wouldn't have minded," he assured her as he got to his feet and made his way over to the basinet. He looked down to see Kaitlyn's blue eyes staring back up at him as she pulled her lips together in a sucking motioning, meaning she was hungry and wanted fed.

"I know I could have woken you up, but she just fed then went back to sleep, I thought I'd be nice and leave you." She watched as his expression softened as he carefully lifted Kaitlyn, his hand supporting the back of her head as he brought her over.

Robbie placed the baby carefully in Jackie's arms, and gave a small nod. "Right, so you didn't need me," he replied, his tone blank.

Jackie looked up at him. "I missed having you there to talk to, but honestly Robbie it was twenty five minutes tops and she was back asleep. I mean I can catch up on sleep after I've fed her and put her back down for a couple of hours; you can't."

"Yeah, true," he muttered. He fidgeted slightly, before announcing, "I'm going to go for a shower, do you want me to change her when I get back?"

Feeling the back of Kaitlyn's nappy, Jackie nodded, "That's a good idea, she'll scream the place down if I put her back down wet."

"I won't be long then," he told her, as he headed out of the bedroom.

Jackie waited until she could hear the hiss of the shower, and looking back down at her daughter, asked her quietly, "What was that all about?"

* * *

><p>"There's my favourite niece," Alison cooed as Jackie answered the front door that lunchtime.<p>

"She's your only niece," Jackie commented amusedly.

Alison gave a mock irate sigh as she stepped into the hallway, a paper bag in hand and dragging a large cardboard box behind her. "Even if I had a ton of nieces she'd still be my favourite."

"What the hell is that?" she asked, nodding towards the box while jiggling Kaitlyn in her arms.

"That is Kaitlyn's welcome to the world present from Alex and I, it finally came in."

"But you've already given her that gorgeous outfit."

"I know, I got her that because this had been delayed." She pushed the box to one side with her foot and leaned over the baby, tickling her cheek. "And I couldn't turn up empty handed now, could I?"

"You're all spoiling her rotten."

"I know but she's just too adorable," Alison commented. "And I even brought us some fancy sandwiches and cake." She dumped them onto the side table. "So can we please go sit down, and I can have a hold and you can open the box."

Smiling, Jackie handed Kaitlyn carefully over to her aunt. "Will I just open it here then?"

Alison didn't lift her eyes from the baby as she replied, "That's probably easiest."

Carefully opening the box, Jackie pulled out the fancy baby bouncing chair. "You didn't need to get us this!" she exclaimed.

"We wanted to. And it has detachable toys, some of them light up and make noises and others are soft toys, also the entire bar comes off to make it easier for you to pick her up. It's got some additional head support so you can use it right away. I used to put the boys in one, rock it for a few minutes and they'd drop right off. It's amazing."

Lifting the chair with one hand, and the bag containing lunch with the other, she headed through to the kitchen. "I'll need to give it a try then."

She placed the bouncing chair in the centre of the table, removing the toy bar so that Alison could strap Kaitlyn in and then clipped it back on. Alison leaned forward and pressed the back of one of the toys, a yellow sun that started flashing and singing.

Kaitlyn blinked, her eyes moving from Jackie's face to the toy, her hands reaching out in an attempt to grab at the bright toy, the chair bouncing as she did so.

Jackie laughed, pushing the toy closer to the baby so that her tiny fingers could curl around the edge of it. "Well she certainly seems enamoured."

Alison looked up from where she was placing plates onto the table. "I know, they love it, anything that lights up or makes a noise that would make us want to scream, they seem to think's amazing."

"Wow," Jackie peered into the bag, one hand still on the bottom of chair. "You went all out for lunch as well."

"I know, I was hoping that if I fed you well enough and kept the baby amused then we could indulge in some gossip for an hour or so."

"I think I can manage that," Jackie laughed in reply.

"Good, and you know you can let go of it, we're sitting around her so we'll see if she starts to move to the edge of the table."

"Sorry, still a bit paranoid at times with her," she admitted.

Alison grinned, "I was the same with Ben, although by the time I had Jason and had a bratty toddler to deal with at the same time I just didn't have time to be paranoid. Although you'll need to watch if you have another one, because the labour's normally quicker the second time round and you only just got to the hospital in time with Kaitlyn."

"Oh no, she's definitely my one and only," Jackie told her firmly.

"Really?" Alison asked doubtfully. "You don't fancy squeezing out another one before you dry up completely?"

She rolled her eyes. "What a wonderful way you have with words, and no I don't. I'm almost forty three and Robbie's forty eight, we have one healthy little girl and that's enough, we had no problems at all this time round, statistically we got lucky."

"You could easily get lucky again."

"I think it might give Robbie a heart attack though, he wound himself up enough this time round."

Laughing, Alison asked, "So how is he taking to fatherhood the second go round?"

Jackie smiled softly. "He's been amazing, not that he sees it like that. He slept through Kaitlyn's early morning feed today and I think he feels guilty. He came very close to sulking this morning, think he's starting to feel left out," she commented, her smile falling slightly.

Swallowing a mouthful of her sandwich, Alison asked, "Is he back at work?"

"Yeah, he is."

"That'll be it then. He'll be thinking that every time he goes out the door he'll be missing something."

"Make sense," she mumbled, picking the tomatoes out of her sandwich. And it did, Robbie had always said that he'd not been there enough for Jamie, and she was sure that he felt as though now he was back at work he wasn't doing enough for Kaitlyn. Which was complete crap, but at least she could understand where he was coming from, and she now had a plan with how to deal with it.

* * *

><p>Robbie bounded up the front steps, letting himself into the flat and was unsure if he was relieved or disappointed that it was all quiet. Relieved because it meant everything was calm, and disappointed because it could easily mean that Kaitlyn was fast asleep.<p>

Jackie appeared in the doorway, she smiled at him warmly, asking, "How was work?"

He moved closer, glad to see her after the long day he'd had. "Not the same without you," he told her honestly, wrapping his arm around her waist and hugging her. "Kaitlyn still awake?"

"She is." Jackie's smile widened. "Alison dropped by with a present for her today." She grabbed his hand. "Come see."

Robbie followed her through into the living room where Kaitlyn was sitting in a brightly coloured bouncy chair. He watched as Jackie leaned forward and pressed at one of the toys that dangled from it, and he felt the strains of the day melt away as his daughter's eyes lit up, her hands reaching out to grab at the swinging toy. "I think we've found her favourite toy."

"For just now, I think we have," Jackie laughed. "She even napped in it for a bit today, falls asleep in seconds when you rock it. Best present ever."

"Looks like it."

Leaning her cheek against his shoulder, Jackie suddenly announced, "She needs a bath tonight."

"Ok, well I'll go fill up the tub and-"

"No, I'm going to put dinner on, I thought you could do it."

His jaw slackened and he protested, "But she wriggles and I don't want to drop her."

"So take her into the bath or shower with you, she might prefer it."

Robbie stared between Jackie and Kaitlyn and then finally nodded. "I suppose I can manage that." He leaned down, lifting Kaitlyn out of the chair and holding her close to him as he headed towards the shower.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It wasn't as bad as he thought it was going to be, in fact Kaitlyn had loved it, not letting out a cry of protest even once. Whereas when she was in the baby bath she'd scream the flat down.

Robbie cradled her to his chest, kissing the top of her head as he kept his back to the spray so the water didn't hit her full on. He told her about his day and in all honesty talked about anything that came into his head.

When he stepped out and wrapped the towel around her, he felt better than he had over the last few days. He'd felt like he hadn't really been able to bond with her over the last few days, felt like Jackie was doing so much better than he was.

She'd flourished as a mum after the first few uncertain days. He'd been fine until he'd went back to work, now he just felt like he was missing out on everything. Felt like he never got to spend any time with her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jackie yawned as she handed Kaitlyn back over to Robbie to burp after she'd been fed, she stretched out across the bed as she watched him. "I was going to read her a story tonight before I put her down but I'm exhausted."

Robbie glanced across at her. "Want me to do it?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, I'm so tired that you'll probably put me to sleep as well, and it's meant to help with her development."

"I know, you told me that when you made me buy that truckload of books," he laughed.

"You stay there, I'll go and grab a book, back in a minute."

When she got back, she handed the small book to Robbie, who'd settled Kaitlyn down across his chest, her hand resting on his shoulder. Jackie snuggled down on her side of the bed and closed her eyes, although she was listening to Robbie as he read the book aloud. She forced herself not to laugh when she heard him put on different voices for each character.

Once he was finished, she could hear Kaitlyn snuffling sleepily and felt the bed dip and heard it creak as he got to his feet and carried her over to her basinet. She smiled into her pillow as she heard him tuck her in, telling her goodnight.

The bedside light went off, and the bed dipped again as he got back in next to her, and curved into her, pulling her back against his chest. Leaning over her slightly, he whispered, "I know you're not sleeping, and I know what you did tonight."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she whispered back in reply.

"You pretending to be too busy or tired to do the bath or reading tonight so that I could spend time with Kaitlyn."

She twisted to face him. "Are you angry?"

He shook his head, his face breaking out into a grin. "No, think it was exactly what I needed. But I don't want you to feel like I'm taking over all the fun bits."

"I don't feel that," she assured him. "Robbie, I spend all day with her. I take her out in her pram for walks and we do tummy time. Plus I think she needs time that's just her and her Daddy, and I think that bath time and story time are perfect for that. And then we can do other things as a family."

"You've got it all worked out, don't you?"

"Always," she smiled, leaning up and kissing him. Breaking away she told him, "Now go to sleep, and next time you feel like you're struggling just tell me, and we'll fix it; together."

"I will. Oh and Jacks."

"Mmmm."

"What the hell is tummy time?"


	23. Chapter 23

"Fuck!" Robbie swore loudly as he stumbled into the now cramped hallway and jarred his ankle against Kaitlyn's pram. Now that she was four weeks old, the haze of new parenthood had started to clear and both he and Jackie had began to notice just how cramped the flat had become.

Breathing in, he slid sideways past the coffee table and just about tumbled into the kitchen, where Jackie was absentmindedly standing at the counter, reading over some sheets of paper. Moving behind her, he kissed the back of her neck, telling her, "We need to find somewhere else to put that bloody pram before I break my ankle."

She turned to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she replied, "I agree, but there isn't anywhere else to put it anymore."

They had been storing it in Kaitlyn's room but had decided to let her take her afternoon sleeps in her cot so that she could get used to the surroundings before putting her in there at night. The room was tiny, so therefore the pram now had to reside elsewhere.

Robbie merely grumbled under his breath, before asking, "She sleeping just now?"

"Nope, she's in her bouncer. I just came through to check the dinner."

"I'll go get her then," he told her, kissing her briefly once more before almost running out the room, eager to see his little girl.

He reappeared only moments later. Kaitlyn in his arms, while she gripped onto a small plush rattle, perfectly content. "So how was your day?" he asked.

"Are you asking me or her?" Jackie replied in amusement, while Kaitlyn simply stared up at him with her blue eyes, listening to his words.

"At the moment I think I might just get more out of you," he told her, although his eyes remained focussed on Kaitlyn as he pulled faces at her.

She laughed. "Just a bit, and probably not for much longer. Today was fine, took Kaitlyn for a walk earlier and I also went on the internet and looked up a couple of houses I thought might suit us." Robbie looked up at her at that and she added nervously, "I know we said we'd wait but this place is doing my head in, there's no space and now with Kaitlyn here, we're tripping over each other all the time."

"That what you were looking at?" He asked, nodding his head over to the sheaf of papers sitting on the countertop.

"Uh huh, there's one three bedroom and two four bedrooms that I think might be worth a look…if you think it's a good idea of course."

He grinned over at her. "Don't worry, I'm not about to freak out. I think this is a good idea, believe me you're not the only one fed up with being hemmed in like this. Don't get me wrong I like this flat but I dunno how much more I can take of this."

"Exactly," she breathed out on a sigh of relief. "Plus it'll make things so much easier when Jamie comes to visit-"

"If," he corrected her, his eyes flickering away from hers as they flashed disappointedly. Jamie had been distinctly unimpressed with the news he now had a new half sister. Grunting his way through the conversation.

"No, when, I know it's hard but I still think that given time to get used to the idea and if you keep reinforcing the fact that you're not pushing him out then he'll come round eventually. Anyway as I was saying, if he visits before we move then we'll have to pack everything up and head to your flat, which is even smaller. Don't get me wrong I'm willing to do it, but if you think this is bad…"

Robbie laughed dryly, telling her, "I've already said yes. Book the appointments and we'll go see them on Thursday since I've got the day off. No point in hanging around, is there?"

* * *

><p>"We'll only just get our two cars into this driveway," Robbie murmured as he pulled into the curving driveway of the second house they were viewing, the first one having been instantly disregarded due to the level of work that would have needed to be done, and they simply didn't have the time for that.<p>

This house though was a pretty little mews cottage that sat in a small cluster of houses that were hidden down a small street, away from the main road, completely unlike what he'd expected Jackie to go for.

"True," Jackie replied. "But there is a pathway at the side so getting the pram down the driveway from the front door won't be a problem even if both cars are here." To be honest she'd fallen in love with this house on sight, it looked so unlike anything she'd ever expect to find in Glasgow, and especially so close to the city centre. The small street was very obviously family orientated, with children leaping about the small gardens that sat at the front of the house. She already had her fingers crossed that the inside wouldn't disappoint her.

Getting out the car, she unclipped Kaitlyn's car seat as they'd discovered earlier that it was much easier and more reassuring to simply carry her in the seat, that way they didn't need to worry about tripping over unknown hazards and hurting her.

The estate agent met them by the door, smiling cheerfully as he straightened his suit sleeves. "Ms Reid it's nice to meet you, I'm John Fraser, I spoke to you on the phone," he said to Jackie as they approached the heavy wooden front door.

"I remember," she replied, flashing him a polite smile.

"Now would you like me to show you around or would you like the opportunity to take a look round yourselves?"

"Ourselves," Robbie answered quickly, he hated estate agents, hated the way they trailed after you trying to secure a sale.

"Not a problem, I'll wait out here give you some privacy. Although I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by the house, it's quite a find, also I feel I should point out that you two will be the first to see it and are the only ones booked in for today, so you're in a good position should you decide to make an offer."

With that said the man took a step back from the front door so that they could walk inside. The hallway was a good size, large enough for the pram to sit out of the way in the corner without blocking either the door or the stairs. The staircase was large and oak, and light streamed in from the side window.

Jackie smiled at the warmth the house already seemed to emanate as she stepped into the large lounge, her shoes clicking slightly on the glorious wooden floor, her smile widening at the sight of the bay window. "I like the fireplace," she muttered to Robbie as she nodded towards the large old fashioned fireplace.

He grinned at her. "Mmmm can just imagine putting a blanket down in the winter and helping to keep each other warm."

She slapped his shoulder. "You always have to take the conversation down a level," she laughed.

"I can't be held responsible for the way my mind works."

Still chuckling, she walked through the archway that led into a dining area, where the ceiling curved down slightly, and a large picture window looked out onto the back garden, which she didn't pay too much attention to for the moment, already on her way into the kitchen.

Her eyes widened, the room was perfect, it was just what she'd wanted, what she'd pictured in her mind. With a large island in the centre and a small round table at the side that meant they could eat in here rather than always having to use the dining room. But the real draw to the room was an extension on the side that was obviously currently being used as a play area, with a wendy house and a clutch of brightly coloured toys decorating the slate floor, leading onto large French doors that in turn led out onto the large garden.

Turning to smile at Robbie, she stepped out into the garden and she could instantly see Kaitlyn running around the garden when she was a little older. Could picture a swing set and other various toys being strewn about the grass. Even better the garden was completely closed off and wasn't overlooked in anyway, a large wrought iron gate that obviously needed a key to open closed off the access to small pathway that led to the front of the house

Upstairs didn't disappoint either, with two good size double bedrooms on the first floor and then another double bedroom up in the eaves. The master bedroom on the first floor came with an en-suite and there was a large family bathroom, it was perfect. The whole house was light and airy and apart from painting it needed nothing done to it.

She turned to Robbie, asking, "So what do you think?"

"I like it," he replied carefully. "But I think we should think about it, and still see the next house, after all you heard him, we're the only people seeing it today so we cant lose out on it.

Jackie tried to keep her face from falling and she gave a small nod. "You're right," she replied. "No point in jumping the gun, is there?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As they stood in the kitchen of the next house, a sandstone terraced in a good area, Jackie rubbed at a fussing Kaitlyn's back as she whimpered, which was an improvement on the loud screams of only a few minutes ago.

"So what do you think?" Robbie asked her, leaning against the countertop next to them.

"It's a nice house," she answered reluctantly. "It's the same price and has a fourth bedroom and that second living room, along with the separate dining room," and then she couldn't help dropping in with, "Kitchen's smaller though,"

Robbie tried to hide a smile. "True," he replied. "But you can still fit a table in here, and with that second living room you don't really need that extended bit the other house had."

"I liked that extended bit," she muttered. Gazing out the window, she told him, "Garden's smaller, a lot smaller."

"It is," he conceded.

"And all the neighbours can see right into it, it's really overlooked." She studied him carefully and trying to hide the dismay in her voice, asked, "Do you prefer this house then?"

His face split into a grin. "Course I don't." And he didn't, he'd liked the charm that the other house had in spades and that this one was lacking for them. "I can't see us in here," he finally told her. "But I can see us in the other one, I know this one is probably the more sensible buy, but what the hell do we need with a fourth bedroom, or a second living room?"

"Exactly," she smiled, before shooting him a suspicious glare, "Wait a minute, you were winding me up, making me think that you wanted this house."

"Guilty," he shrugged with a grin. "So will we make an offer then?"

"Yes," she replied decisively. "That house is definitely the one for us."

"Even Kaitlyn seems to agree, she's been crying ever since we got through that door."

"As much as I'd like to think that our daughter agrees with our choice of new home, I'm pretty sure that she just needs changed," Jackie told him, laughing.

"Want me to bring her stuff in then?" Robbie asked.

She shook her head. "No I'll change her in the car, seems more than a little bit cheeky to change her in a house we have no intention of buying.

* * *

><p>"What do you want?" Jamie mumbled down the phone, and despite the fact that he was thousands of miles away, Robbie could just picture the bored expression in his eyes.<p>

"I thought I'd call to let you know that Jackie and I found a new house, we're going to be moving at the start of December."

"Oh…right…so what?"

"I just thought you should know…it's got three bedrooms so one will be yours obviously. I'll move all your stuff across, you got a particular colour you want it painted?"

"No."

"Just keep it plain for just now then."

"Don't care," Jamie replied. "Look I'm going to go now, got…homework to do."

With that hollow excuse ringing in his ears, Robbie once again found himself listening to the dial tone. He sighed deeply.

Jackie wrapped her arms around his waist, and he wrapped his own arm around her, pulling her tightly into him. She kissed him gently, comfortingly before telling him, "I know it's hard, but it will get better.

And he nodded, agreeing with her because he just didn't want to face the possibility that it would always be like this between him and his son.


	24. Chapter 24

**I feel I could carry on this story forever, but it has to end somewhere. So this is going to be the last chapter, and hopefully it ends on a positive note.**

**So I hope you enjoyed this story :)**

* * *

><p>"You know I can always call Burke and wrangle the mornin' off, come with you both," Robbie told Jackie as he leaned over Kaitlyn, who was lying on her play matt. He tickled her tummy and was rewarded with a wide smile and a delighted, "Ah Ah Ah." As she kicked her legs.<p>

She'd started smiling three days ago, becoming slightly more vocal just the day after, which had thrilled both her parents, as it meant that they finally had reactions and knew what she liked. Robbie in-particular used any excuses to get her to smile, even pulling funny faces that had Jackie rolling her eyes and laughing to herself.

Jackie shook her head in reply to his question, standing in the doorway watching her small family, she told him, "It's a six week check, we'll both be in and out of there in no time. Plus I don't think they're going to find anything, the health visitor certainly never seems worried when she visits and her growth and weight have been fine so far."

Robbie picked up Kaitlyn and got to his feet, replying, "I'm sure it'll be fine, but if you change your mind you just need to call."

"You're just desperate for the morning off, aren't you?" she teased, reaching out and tickling Kaitlyn's cheek and receiving another smile for her efforts.

He grinned. "Ah how well you know me," he told her jokingly as he rather reluctantly handed over Kaitlyn to her. Kissing the top of the baby's head, he turned back to Jackie, adding, "But if you need me then just call, ok?"

"I know, and if we need you then I will," she reassured him, straightening his tie with one hand. "Now go."

Robbie hesitated for another brief moment before finally nodding and leaving the room. Jackie laughed under her breath as she heard the front door fall shut, whispering to a now silent Kaitlyn, "You have your Dad wrapped around your little finger, I hope you know that."

* * *

><p>That evening, Jackie smiled to herself as she heard Robbie try and manoeuvre his way around all the junk in the hallway. She looked up just as he appeared in the doorway, his face hopeful he asked, "So how did it go today?"<p>

"Clean bill of health for both of us, and Kaitlyn is right on schedule for everything," she told him cheerfully, passing the baby over to him. "How was your day."

"Usual, had a ton of paperwork to finish." He grimaced at that, before his face cleared and he told her cheerfully, "But I did get an offer on my flat today, over the price that we wanted for it."

Her face split into a wide smile. "Really? And you accepted, right?"

"Course I did. So all we've got to do is shift this place and we're good to go."

"I'm already one step ahead of you," she told him. "Spoke to the estate agents and put it on sale today." She stroked her hand over her daughter's soft head of hair and told her, "So you Mrs will be in your new home before you know it."

"Funny to think she won't even remember this place."

"Mmmm," Jackie mumbled. "That could be for the best," she grinned up at him cheekily. "After all what she'd most likely remember is us tripping over everything and you swearing…a lot."

"Always looking on the Brightside."

She laughed. "I was thinking we could have an early night. I've already fed her, so do you want to read her a story and put her to bed?"

"Sure, you coming in to say goodnight to her once I'm done?"

Smiling to herself, she replied, "No, not tonight." Leaning on her tiptoes, she pressed a kiss to his cheek and murmured, "I've got other things to see to."

Robbie shot her a confused look and gave a one shouldered shrug before carrying Kaitlyn out of the room, talking to her as he did so. Jackie wasn't entirely sure what about but she was almost positive that he heard him mention something about him never understanding the minds of women.

Laughing under her breath, Jackie headed for the bedroom. It was very obvious that Robbie was in the dark about the fact that today was the day she'd found out whether or not they could resume a certain part of their relationship.

She fluffed out her hair in the mirror, checking her face to ensure that she didn't have any marks on it. Pulling open her drawer, Jackie hesitated on what she wanted to wear. Although she'd lost most of the weight she'd put on during her pregnancy through breastfeeding and walking just about everywhere with Kaitlyn, her curves were still softer and slightly more generous than they used to be.

Her teeth bit nervously into her soft bottom lip, she was being ridiculous. It wasn't as though they hadn't touched in the last six weeks, they'd shared deep, longing kisses and gentle caresses. So she knew that he was fine with her new figure, that it hadn't put him off in any way shape or form. If anything he was just as enthusiastic as he had been before Kaitlyn had been born, always seemed disappointed when he had to pull back, put the brakes on things.

She finally settled on a strappy cami top and a small pair of sleep shorts, she didn't want to look too obvious but she wanted something that was a bit more enticing than the baggy t-shirt she'd taken to sleeping in.

Robbie appeared in the doorway, his hair ruffled in a way that she loved. "Out like a light," he muttered, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Although probably not for longer than a few hours," Jackie remarked, leaning back into him. "So we'll just have to make the most of the time we have alone."

"Mmm," he mumbled into her neck. "You smell amazing, so you got any ideas for this time, you sound like you do."

"Well, you know how I was at the doctor's today, we got the green light."

He looked at the smile on her face and turned her so she faced him, fingers toying with the thin straps of her top as he echoed hopefully, "Green light as in…"

"As in we don't have to stop tonight," she confirmed happily. "Although you're back to wearing a condom for the time being, I don't fancy anymore surprises."

"Small price to pay," he replied, his hands slipping underneath her top, touching her stomach. She stiffened slightly and he whispered close to her ear, "Don't, I love the way you look, just relax."

"I think you need to show me how to relax, you did once tell me you had a few methods for that."

His cocky smirk widened. "I did, didn't I," he replied as he backed her towards the bed.

* * *

><p>Picking up the phone later on in the week, Robbie was surprised to be greeting with a quiet, "Hi Dad."<p>

"Jamie!" He echoed, the surprise obvious in his tone, it even caused Jackie to look up from where she was lying on the floor, Kaitlyn on her stomach and waving a brightly coloured toy for the baby to grab at.

He tried to recover quickly, asking, "How are you?"

"I'm fine…I just…I wondered what you were doing for Christmas?"

Robbie rubbed at the back of his head, he felt like he was coming up to a pivotal moment and that his answer to this had a lot hanging on it. "We hadn't decided anything for definite, why?"

"Just wondered…Mum's going skiing with her new boyfriend, so I'm meant to be staying with Aunt Pamela but…"

He felt his stomach lurch for his son, he'd always feared that this would happen, that Gaby would meet someone and then slowly but surely start a new life without Jamie. He knew to some it would look like he'd done the same, but he'd never set out to exclude Jamie. "You know that you could come and stay with us, we'd be in the new house by then, so they'd be plenty of room. Could stay for as long as you want, and then we could decide whether we want to have dinner at home or with Jackie's family."

"You…you wouldn't mind?"

"Course not, you could meet your little sister, and before you ask Jackie won't mind either."

He could hear the hint of a smile in Jamie's voice as he replied, "I could come out the day after school finishes and stay for a few weeks, until we're due back."

"Sounds good, just let me know the dates and I'll buy the ticket."

"I will. Look Dad I need to go, meeting some friends but I'll call soon, ok?"

"Ok, have fun, bye."

Hanging up, he turned, a wide grin on his face as he turned to see Jackie smiling softly at him as she sat back up, leaning against the sofa, Kaitlyn sitting on her knee, the ear of small plush bunny now gripped in her tiny hand. "I take it we have a visitor coming then?"

He nodded. "Not till Christmas though."

"That'll be nice," she commented easily. "Plus we'll have more than enough space by then, won't need to worry about him tripping over all our crap." She looked up at him, asking carefully, "How does Gaby feel about it?"

Robbie shrugged, coming to sit down next to her on the floor. "Dunno, apparently she's going skiing with her new man."

"Did I hear a hint of bitterness there," Jackie teased him.

His smile faltered slightly, and reaching out he shook the rabbit that Kaitlyn had gently, causing her to squeal in excitement, reaching forward to grab it again. "Just don't want him to feel shut out, I mean it's going to be bloody Christmas and she's planning to swan off and leave him with an aunt and cousins he hardly knows."

"It's not what we would do, I know, but then something good has come out of it."

"And what's that?"

"Jamie felt he was able to phone you, and now he's coming here, to stay with us. First step."

His grin was back. "That's true." He tilted her head to look at Kaitlyn. "Her eyes are getting darker," he stated.

"I know, think they're going to turn brown in the next few months." She stretched her legs and wiggled her toes. "Can't believe it's not even been eleven months since all this started. If you'd told me a year ago this is where I'd be I would have laughed at you."

"Mmm, who would have guessed that a drunken Christmas party would have got us here."

She laughed under her breath. "Bit cliché really, but worth it."

Kaitlyn let out a sharp cry when she dropped the toy that had been holding her attention, leaning over Robbie picked it up and handed it back to her, tickling her cheek until she smiled again. He slipped his arm around Jackie, and thought about this Christmas coming, in their new home with their baby girl and finally seeing Jamie again after more than a year,. He thought about all the things he had to look forward to, and he kissed Jackie's temple, replying, "Definitely worth it."


End file.
